Monthly Archives: March 2022

Metabasis

Posted on March 31, 2022 | Comments Off on Metabasis

Metabasis (me-ta’-ba-sis): A transitional statement in which one explains what has been and what will be said.

It you will, if you count to ten, you will see a metaphorical rainbow. Yes, that’s right. I told you about the phenomenon in great detail, setting out the prior conditions, their necessity, and the eerie music that must be playing to prepare your brain like a 10 pound turkey to be basted with truth and stuffed with wisdom. Next, I will explain how the metaphorical rainbow operates to endow you with an angelic halo, another metaphor hovering above your head, like a swarm of luminescent bees or flies—it depends on your body odor. If you smell like a flower, you get bees. If you smell like garbage or dog-do, you get flies.

I know this next phase of your spiritual journey is complicated and vexing. Be patient, what’s next will be truly mind bending. And once you’ve achieved “Bent Mind Hood” every word will become a metaphor, and you will lose your grip. Clutching and squeezing will never again be goals. Ok. Let us begin by singing Bon Jovi’s “Wanted Dead or Alive.” Then, we’ll have some delicious Kool Aid.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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Metalepsis

Posted on March 30, 2022 | Comments Off on Metalepsis

Metalepsis (me-ta-lep’-sis): Reference to something by means of another thing that is remotely related to it, either through a farfetched causal relationship, or through an implied intermediate substitution of terms. Often used for comic effect through its preposterous exaggeration. A metonymical substitution of one word for another which is itself figurative.

Your dreams are nightmares waiting to hatch. They’ll be featherless and will crash when they jump from your mind-nest out into the world. I can hear them bouncing off anybody who will listen and who will get a good laugh as payment for their wasted time.

I just don’t know what else to say. Dreams are like cheese, and cheese is like truth. There are so many different cheeses, likewise there are many many different dreams. You have cheddar, you have the “can’t open your locker dream.” You have feta, you have the “teeth are falling out dream.” This list is endless. But, then there’s truth—it goes well with cheese: like a delicate cracker with just the right amount of salt, and shortening, and gluten. Mmm! I’ll have some of that! Give me a slab of Port Salut on a warm truth-cracker! In a way, dreams follow the truth around like a child chasing a butterfly. The child will never catch the butterfly and would not know what to do with it anyway, like an electric drill, or a motorcycle, or a federal income tax form. You just yell at the kid: “wake up,” and that usually works. If it fails, make sure they major in philosophy when they go to college. A sort of cordial recalcitrance, or witty smugness will take them far, perhaps as far as a PhD.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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Metallage

Posted on March 29, 2022 | Comments Off on Metallage

Metallage (me-tal’-la-gee): When a word or phrase is treated as an object within another expression.

If you say “far out”” again, I’m headed far out the door—so far, I’ll be in in another city or state, or maybe country. Canada’s just up the road. I know you picked up “far out” from your parents—die-hard tie dyed hippies from the 60s. The still talk about The Who’s sunrise performance of “Tommy” at Woodstock like it was just this morning. Every other word is “far out.” Also, “like” and “man” and “wow” find their way in too. At the grocery store: “Like, where are the avocados, man? Oh wow. Over there? Far out.”

The best is the way they dress. Where the hell do they get bellbottoms in the 21st century? They should rent themselves out for parties as real Hippies. One good thing though: now that pot is legal, they’ve lost their paranoia and grow it in your back yard. But the clincher is what they eat. Their “Bean Alone” diet is totally horrendous. One of these days your house is going to explode from the gas your parents generate.

Well that’s it—hokey donkey—holy guacamole—I got it out of my system. Let’s go out to dinner now. Hokey donkey artichoky. Let’s go. Ok?

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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Metaphor

Posted on March 28, 2022 | Comments Off on Metaphor

Metaphor (met’-a-phor): A comparison made by referring to one thing as another.

Your eyes are the abyss—the endless frightening expanse, shooting fragments of clear light stretching from your soul—one green, one brown, your eyes’ colors conflict like everything else about you. But your presence is compelling. I want to stay. I want to be with you with no end: living in the pulsing expanse of your flesh. A quiet parasite taking sustenance from your body without your awareness. You are my banquet, my revel, my dessert.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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Metaplasm

Posted on March 27, 2022 | Comments Off on Metaplasm

Metaplasm (met’-a-plazm): A general term for orthographical figures (changes to the spelling of words). This includes alteration of the letters or syllables in single words, including additions, omissions, inversions, and substitutions. Such changes are considered conscious choices made by the artist or orator for the sake of eloquence or meter, in contrast to the same kinds of changes done accidentally and discussed by grammarians as vices (see barbarism). See: antisthecon, aphaeresis, apocope, epenthesis, paragoge, synaloepha.

I made my way through life with moovement on my own two footies, fancy free and gracefully, with glee and snap. I never listened to the blues—the lamentations of dis-pair: of broken up couples whining in the mirror at their sole reflection: taking note of every tear, counting the sobs, and the tissues, to tally their pains. Nope. I’ve kept myself alone from the start; alone to the end. I live in the vale of solitude where bees bzzzz to no avail—they’re all deaf, but they can feel the vibrations of each other. However, they don’t know what they mean, like water in a stream that washes over your feet, or the feeling of a breeze on your skin, or the warmth of the sun.

We shuffle from one place to the next, dragging our hopes and fears along with us: hopes in a recycling bin, fears in a garbage bag. We don’t know where we’re going, but we go nevertheless, conscious of our burden, relentlessly looking. But like I said, I’m happy without all the heart-raking travail. I have a cat.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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Metastasis

Posted on March 26, 2022 | Comments Off on Metastasis

Metastasis (me-tas’-ta-sis): Denying and turning back on your adversaries arguments used against you.

You say I shot a hole in your front door. Ha ha, that’s crazy. I’m out on parole for throwing rocks at kids on their way to school. I live on the edge of incarceration and would never do anything to land me back in jail again. You say my moral resolve is weak, but it’s your moral resolve that’s weak, starting with lying about me having anything to do with your front door. You know damn well that I was traveling out of town when it happened and there’s no way I could have done it. I wouldn’t be surprised if you did it as a gambit to get me back in jail. Ever since me a Maggie hooked up, you’ve been out to get me. Get over it. You’re not married any more. I have everything. You have nothing, and you did it to yourself. What did you think would happen when you ran off with the high school senior class President— sure she was 18—but God, you’re 38. Thank God the poor kid came to her senses and went home, but not before she had twins. You just about destroyed Maggie.

Anyway, you’re the most disgusting excuse for a human being I’ve ever known. Next time you want to shoot a hole in your front door and blame it on me, make sure I’m home first. And by the way, I don’t own a gun, so you’ll have to loan me yours and show me how to shoot it.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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Metonymy

Posted on March 25, 2022 | Comments Off on Metonymy

Metonymy (me-ton’-y-my): Reference to something or someone by naming one of its attributes. [This may include effects or any of the four Aristotelian causes {efficient/maker/inventor, material, formal/shape, final/purpose}.]

The pen is mightier than the car jack when it comes to stabbing somebody in the eye, but the word-processor is mightier than the AK-47 when affecting the human spirit and bringing about positive change. So, you want to change things to fit your vision? Start writing, stop shooting. It may take longer to make your writing effective—longer than spraying bullets. The easiest way to settle a disagreement is to kill your opponent. But it is murder, and it doesn’t really settle anything— dead bodies can’t be persuaded and it’s persuasion, not coercion, that brings society forward in a reasonable compassionate way. Dead bodies create anger a alienation: faulty foundations for social reality.

So, if you don’t want the dove to crap on your head, don’t screw with fire irons.

Definition courtesy of “Sliva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu). Bracketed text added by Gorgias.

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Ominatio

Posted on March 24, 2022 | Comments Off on Ominatio

Ominatio (o-mi-na’-ti-o): A prophecy of evil.

Listen unto me and know the future. My words are knit into the time to come like an argyle pattern on an expensive woolen sock made by hand in Scotland by an old sheep herder in accord with ancient family tradition. My words are wise, my visions true, and my sight cuts through time like a Swiss blade through a rotten peach.

Evil is impending. Tomorrow it will rain, it will go below freezing, and the rain will mix with snow to make driving conditions hazardous. This is what I prophecy unto you. You will be well-advised to stay home from work and give thanks for my accurate and timely weather forecast, or more properly, meteorological prophecy.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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Onedismus

Posted on March 23, 2022 | Comments Off on Onedismus

Onedismus (on-e-dis’-mus): Reproaching someone for being impious or ungrateful.

I made breakfast for you again—the 19 millionth time. Eggs, pancakes, bacon, toast & jam, coffee—for the nineteen millionth time, and all you do is gobble it down with slurping and piggy snorting sounds. I bet if somebody saved your life you’d walk away without a word. You’re such an ungrateful snake. I hate you more than I hate our racist neighbor and I hate him so much I’d actually like to kill him—with poison or a blunt instrument to the back of the head.

You don’t respect me, you’ve never respected me since you turned 15 and started smoking and hanging with thugs who are nearly all in jail. So, here’s the bottom line: start showing me some respect and some gratitude or I’m going to kill you. See this tire iron? It’s a blunt instrument. It will put a crack in the back of your head and your brains will squirt out on the floor. From now on, you will say thank-you and you will wash the dishes. If you can’t do this, and you stay here anyway, you’ll become a corpse. You’re free to leave and find somebody else to burden with your character defects. You could go on that dating site http://www.ungratefulbastards.com.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.ed).

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Onomatopoeia

Posted on March 22, 2022 | Comments Off on Onomatopoeia

Onomatopoeia (on-o-mat-o-pee’-a): Using or inventing a word whose sound imitates that which it names (the union of phonetics and semantics).

One day, I was walking to school and I heard a squishing sound and smelled a sweet smell. It had happened again, to my great embarrassment. Every day squish, or more like sploosh. It made a wet stain so everybody could see it.

My mom packed my lunch in a brown paper bag. Every day she gave me a jelly donut and an apple. The apple would smack the jelly donut, sploosh. I begged my mom to buy me a lunchbox, the partitions would afford my jelly donut protection from my apple. But she was too cheap. So, I started a pool cleaning business so I could buy a lunchbox. I was only 11 and determined to succeed. I named my business Marine Magic and quickly earned enough for my lunchbox. It had a picture on it of Godzilla blowing fire at a skyscraper.

That was forty years ago. I sold Marine Magic two years ago for $1,000,000,000. I’m retired now. Every day I enjoy a jelly donut from my battered old lunchbox. If my mother hadn’t been so cheap, I wouldn’t be here today. Every once-in-awhile I press down on my jelly donut just to hear it sploosh, or I throw it at my spoiled son to remind him that it’s not too late to become something other that a sponge.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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Optatio

Posted on March 21, 2022 | Comments Off on Optatio

Optatio (op-ta’-ti-o): Expressing a wish, often ardently.

I wish I was a pipe. I would carry water in and sewage out. In and out. I would have a clear set of responsibilities, unlike now. I am the Dean of a small liberal arts college where I spend my time tricking the faculty into believing unilateral decision making is best for them, that “it’s really what they want” even though they don’t think so. Like all deans, I’ll be leaving after four years, where my skill as a bullshitter will land me a presidency, and I’ll get to tell bigger and bigger lies. Only the Trustees can stop me. The faculty is a weenie-wimp breeding ground—they’re like intellectually active comical bedbugs— they suck each other’s blood and make each other itch, and they think it’s funny. They’re going to do nothing, except make tokens of tokens ad infinitum.

Hmm. I wish to change my wish. I wish I was a pandemic. My “disease” would be called “Academic Administritus,” mild, but ubiquitous and mostly psychological. It will make faculty constantly affect righteous indignation. If it’s “their way” they’ll never get it, but they will believe they did because they got mad, shook their fist, and felt good afterwards. I’ll just make sure they have a parking place and the process will repeat itself until they retire, or go somewhere else. If you take away their parking, they will be cured and will kill you.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetorica” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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Orcos

Posted on March 20, 2022 | Comments Off on Orcos

Orcos (or’-kos): Swearing that a statement is true.

Liars are the lowliest form of human life. They tear the social fabric like it is cheesecloth. Once that fabric is torn, unmoored, set loose from trust, the essence of human relations is undermined, and when lying becomes endemic, paranoia sets in. When you ask anybody anything, if it makes them look better, they’ll lie—ask them how old they are, they’ll shave off five years. Ask them where they got all that cash. They’ll tell you from gambling.

I am not a liar and that’s the truth. That wasn’t a lie. Neither was that. Or that. I won the money gambling, or I inherited it, or something like that. I have receipts and other documents supporting the truthfulness of what I’m swearing to. So, while I could be lying, I swear I’m not. It’s like when I tell my wife I love her, there’s no way of proving it. Same with the money. Even though the same amount is missing from the place where I work, it is a coincidence, like if my wife saw me coming out of a motel with my secretary. My wife would say, “Oh gosh. What a coincidence that is. They must’ve been working away from the office.”

I am an honorable man like Julius Caesar, or Huey Long, or Donald Trump. Sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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Oxymoron

Posted on March 19, 2022 | Comments Off on Oxymoron

Oxymoron (ox-y-mo’-ron): Placing two ordinarily opposing terms adjacent to one another. A compressed paradox.

The car parked in the impoundment lot was almost new and very very expensive. It’s not every day we get a Rolls Royce. The interior is made of wood and leather, like it was made by a carving beaver who liked lounging on leather at the end of the workday. The chances anybody would retrieve it grew tinier every day. Who in our big nothing of a town could possibly own, let alone bail out, one of the most expensive luxury cars in the world?

Then I saw Mr. Parker, our high school principal, coming up the street. He was carrying a small suitcase and he was wearing one of those Groucho Marx mustache, glasses, and nose disguises. I was suspicious. When I saw him drive the Rolls off the impound lot, I convicted him in my head of some kind of criminal activity.

I went to the lot and the owner Mr. Rim had some pretty steep stacks of 100-dollar bills on his desk. “Don’t you worry about Mr. Parker,” Mr. Rim said, “He won the Rolls in a raffle and had a little trouble paying the taxes.”

I was relieved. I knew Mr. Parker was a good guy. What happened to him was an unfortunate accident. He got locked in the trunk and starved to death. It was surprisingly predictable—the Rolls is built like a tank and has no latch inside the trunk. The one thing I don’t understand, though, is why none of his colleagues came looking for him.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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Paenismus

Posted on March 18, 2022 | Comments Off on Paenismus

Paenismus (pai-nis’-mus): Expressing joy for blessings obtained or an evil avoided.

I am so lucky! I’ve been cheating on my taxes ever since I started paying them and I have never been audited. That’s thousands and thousands of dollars in my pocket that are not paying for battleships, or anything else the government wastes money on, like mental health counseling. If you’re crazy, no amount of therapy is going to make you sane— you can get pills from your doctor that will straighten you out. CVS has tons of pills and your insurance will help pay for them, so, why does the government need your money?

What’s that? Uh oh. It’s a letter from the IRS: “Dear Mr. Cobb, due to your failure to pay the correct amount of taxes for the past twenty-five years, the IRS is authorized to take your youngest child and put her to work at Roy Rogers Roast Beef until such time as the debt is paid. She will be housed at the IRS Boarding House with other teenagers who have been hopelessly corrupted by their tax dodging parents. We will pick up your daughter on March 25 at 7.00 am. Please have her packed and ready to go. In the event you can get your hands on $350,000 (what you owe us with interest and penalties), leave it in a suitcase on your front porch. We will ring your doorbell when we’ve picked it up. Thank you for being a US citizen. Yours truly, IRS.”

I knew it would just be a matter of time. I was surprised I only owe $350,000. I’ll be leaving it on the front porch.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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Palilogia

Posted on March 17, 2022 | Comments Off on Palilogia

Palilogia: Repetition of the same word, with none between, for vehemence. Synonym for epizeuxis.

No! No! No! Yes! Yes! Yes! Maybe! Maybe! Maybe! Ok, bottom line: I don’t know. I’ll never know. I’m seeing a therapist. We’re doing cross-roads counseling. It’s for people who don’t know which way to turn whenever they come to a “commitment intersection,” I am trying to learn how to come to a full stop and look both ways before I go one way or the other. Now, what I do is run the stop sign, hit the gas, and drive straight away. Sometimes, I have a messy collision and people get hurt.

Don’t push me. I’m going home.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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Parabola

Posted on March 16, 2022 | Comments Off on Parabola

Parabola (par-ab’-o-la): The explicit drawing of a parallel between two essentially dissimilar things, especially with a moral or didactic purpose. A parable.

Life is like a box of candy— full of little sweet things that are bad for you. Maybe life should be more like a set of rotary nose hair clippers—it would go around and around (like reincarnation) and keep you well groomed.

Anyway, so many sayings about life lead us astray and need to be permanently checked out of the library of wisdom. For example: “If at first you don’t succeed try try again.” If you’re trying more than three times, you should quit and try something else.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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Paragoge

Posted on March 15, 2022 | Comments Off on Paragoge

Paragoge (par-a-go’-ge): The addition of a letter or syllable to the end of a word. A kind of metaplasm.

My brainzini is pumping wisdom— going to smart man city. I got this word game called Wugwordy. It is fantasticated! Since I started playing, I’ve become a word-wise-ass. You may be wondering how to play.

Well, first you go to the on-line game site. Then, you get out your letter bucket. The bucket is filled with letters that you bought from Wugwordy. Next, you dump your letter bucket onto your I-Pad’s screen, completely covering it with letters. Then, you make five words from the letters you dumped on your screen. Finally, you take a picture of your words and post it on Instagram, with a brief caption taunting your friends. You are now one colossarola player, known around the internet for your Wugwordy prowess and the jealousy directed at you by your almost no longer friends.

Losing friends has always been the cost of superiority. Don’t worry, you’ll find other superior people and make new friends with. You can be superior with each other and address put downs to the non-superior people that you have to work with, and basically, inhabit the same planet with. “Lame Brain” is one of my favorite put downs. “Nit Wit” too.

Can you spell “Shit head?” You may be a Wugwordy wizard too!

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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Paralipsis

Posted on March 14, 2022 | Comments Off on Paralipsis

Paralipsis (par-a-lip’-sis): Stating and drawing attention to something in the very act of pretending to pass it over (see also cataphasis). A kind of irony.

Tucker Carlson is hardly worth mentioning, unless it is possible to commit treason as the son of a a wealthy family empire in the frozen chicken dinner business. The only reason Fox News keeps him around is to pay the tab for the lesser losers who work there. Even Shawn Hannity needs a boost these days. He just does not have top dog crazy any more. Tucker, on the other hand, decides what to say on the basis of any one of a number of adjectives that elicit squeals of delight on one side and vows to kill him on the other. This isn’t news. It’s an hour of op-edding without a reasonable conclusion, just a rest until the next broadcast. It does not stop. It’s like a nightly earthquake, with a fire and lots of injuries.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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Paramythia

Posted on March 13, 2022 | Comments Off on Paramythia

Paramythia (pa-ra-mee’-thi-a): An expression of consolation and encouragement.

Every time I think of you, I feel your pain. You have suffered far too much. You didn’t deserve what you were handed. Every time I think of it I want to get on a plane together and fly somewhere far away from here. I know how much you wanted to go to graduate school in UMASS’s Mathematics distance learning program. When you got the rejection, I couldn’t stand it when you started crying and pounding on the ground. It was a well-earned emotional earthquake. Tearing out your hair is what I expected, a perfect expression of your emotion’s depth and breadth. When you threw your cellphone on the ground, it was an act of defiance signifying your unwillingness to capitulate and accept your fate. Bravo!

At this point, I don’t know what more I can do to assuage your pain, and help manage your feelings of rejection and desolation. Thank God I got into my top choice in Harvard’s Astrophysics Ph.D. program with full funding and a parking place outside the lab.

Be optimistic! Keep applying to UMASS. Sooner or later somebody there will take pity on you and let you in. You probably won’t get full funding, but with distance learning, you won’t need parking!

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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Paraprosdokian

Posted on March 12, 2022 | Comments Off on Paraprosdokian

Paraprosdokian: A figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase [or series = anticlimax] is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe the first part. . . . For this reason, it is extremely popular among comedians and satirists. An especially clever paraprosdokian not only changes the meaning of an early phrase, but also plays on the double meaning of a particular word.(1)

I had a double at the bar, and later, all night at my place with the two women I met there. This town is so wild, it helps if you know a zookeeper. Every time I go out in this town, I am not looking for trouble—well, not that kind of trouble. I just want to go for a walk, but I go off the deep end every time. I want a friend with benefits—I want to use her credit card. I want to go on a trip and get away from here, but gas is 5.00 per gallon, and that’s more than the wine I drink. Maybe I should take a train. I’ll be on track. Maybe I’ll go visit my sister. The food is good, but her children aren’t. They stay up late and make a lot of noise—they’re like a couple of coyotes. Maybe I’ll fly somewhere far away and warm. I know! Panama. No, I don’t like that—it sounds like enema—how good could that be? Maybe I should just stay home and watch TV with my cat, Jack. It’s like there’s nobody there.

1. “Paraprosdokian.” Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia. 4 Jan 2008, 03:30 UTC. Wikimedia Foundation, Inc. 9 Jan 2008 <http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paraprosdokian>.

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Paregmenon

Posted on March 11, 2022 | Comments Off on Paregmenon

Paregmenon (pa-reg’-men-on): A general term for the repetition of a word or its cognates in a short sentence. Often, but not always, polyptoton.

Ukraine! Ukraine! Ukraine! The people are brave. The soldiers are braver. Bombed, strafed, rocketed—and still they stand. Ukraine. Ukraine. Russia will not succeed. Putin is evil—killing children. Destroying homes. He will pay the price. The World Court will convict him of war crimes. Oh Ukraine, Ukraine! Don’t lose hope. Be resolute. Don’t let go. The rest of the world is on your side (except for Belarus).

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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Pareuresis

Posted on March 10, 2022 | Comments Off on Pareuresis

Pareuresis (par-yur-ee’-sis): To put forward a convincing excuse. [Shifting the blame.]

There was a bowling ball in the middle of the road. But that isn’t bad enough—it was on fire and there was screaming child pinned underneath it, clutching a hamster in one hand a water bottle in the other. Fire, trapped child, I yelled “Dump your water on the bowling ball.” Then, I ran toward the child to kick the bowling ball away.

As I ran toward him, I slipped on something and fell on my face. I was knocked unconscious. When I woke up I was in a hospital bed, hooked up to tubes and monitors. I was told the little boy had a 1-in-ten chance of surviving. If only I hadn’t slipped. I asked the Doctor if she knew what I had slipped on. She told me it was my leather-soled shoes.

Damn, what rotten luck. I work in a bowling alley and am required to wear leather-soled shoes. I never had any trouble with them before. I always wore them in the bowling alley and never out on the street, but that afternoon I was in a hurry to get home for my daughter’s 9th birthday party. I had bought her a book “Bowling Rolls.” It was a best-seller among bowling enthusiasts.

I need to make it clear: I had never seen that boy or that bowling ball any time in my life. I tried to help him, but I failed. It was a horrible accident. It was my leather-soled shoes. If I had been wearing my running shoes, that poor little boy would be just fine.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu). Bracketed text added by Gorgias.

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Paroemia

Posted on March 9, 2022 | Comments Off on Paroemia

Paroemia (pa-ri’-mi-a): One of several terms describing short, pithy sayings. Others include adage, apothegm, gnome, maxim, proverb, and sententia.

“Better to fight for something than live for nothing.”
― George S. Patton

If you want to be somebody in life, you have to maintain your ideals and fight for them, either with arguments or violence. If your opponent argues, you argue back. If your opponent fights, you fight back. Don’t chicken out. If you do, you’ll have to argue or fight again with this person in the future: “A bad penny always shows up.” Chances are you will cross paths again: “Nip it in the bud” now and you’re done. If you get killed or injured, so be it—that’s the risk you take when you won’t compromise. However, you can always “walk away and live to fight another day.” But when will that “another day” come? Will you be ambushed on your way yo the mall? Will you be assaulted while you’re mowing your lawn? Will your house be burned to the ground? These examples are drastic, but think, have they ever happened where ideals were at stake?

Learn to compromise. As long as your opponent is willing to compromise too, you can live together in peace. “Peace” is an ideal worthy of striving for, as long as you don’t give up your basic values.

Uh oh.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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Paroemion

Posted on March 8, 2022 | Leave a comment

Paroemion (par-mi’-on): Alliteration taken to an extreme where nearly every word in a sentence begins with the same consonant. Sometimes, simply a synonym for alliteration or for homoeoprophoron [a stylistic vice].

The dancing decadent dimwits decided to drink, drop, and deny. They will regret it tomorrow, trying to tell the “Toad” that they’re tattered; tongues teetering, tearing truth.

Hangovers hurt happiness: hammered head, hazy hell.

But, there’s always a way out. Medical, psychological, spiritual, whatever—there are many, many ways. I used to drink a bottle of vodka every day. Now I drink a bottle of scotch. Ha ha. Actually, I quit drinking when my liver started admonishing me & I knew I’d never be eligible for a transplant. So, it was fear that woke me up and induced me to put down the glass. But the way out varies wildly—like I said, there’s no single way.

There’s nothing fun about waking up naked with a stranger, puking all over yourself, getting a DUI, dying of a rotted liver, fighting over nothing, getting mugged, falling out a window, getting run over, wetting yourself, or getting trapped in a dumpster.

There are so many negatives, yet people persist in destroying themselves and possibly wrecking the lives of the people who love them—alcohol abuse affects the drinker, but it also abuses the people who love them. So, it’s not just the drinkers who need help.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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Paromoiosis

Posted on March 7, 2022 | Comments Off on Paromoiosis

Paromoiosis (par-o-moy-o’-sis): Parallelism of sound between the words of adjacent clauses whose lengths are equal or approximate to one another. The combination of isocolon and assonance.

I’m going to keep my mind open.

It’s a very foolproof strategy for coping.

Your mind is flooded with a torrent of flowing thought.

So much spilling through your head you can’t even talk.

Your mind has fragmented into flashing mirrors and colored smoke.

You’re done! You’ve coped! Have a snack, tell a joke.

I followed this plan for years. I think you can call it avoidance! You become so confused with all the thoughts filling your head that you actually forget that anything’s bothering you. I found it to be an excellent way to free myself of anxiety. But then, I started having anxiety about how I coped with my anxiety. At that point I realized there is no way to rid yourself of anxiety. Of course, it’s all the future’s fault. The future is the soul of worry. It hasn’t come yet and it is shrouded in hope and fear—we don’t know how it will come—guns blazing, or hugs and kisses. Anyway, maybe the best way to cope is to juggle.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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