Category Archives: apodixis

Apodixis

Apodixis (a-po-dix’-is): Proving a statement by referring to common knowledge or general experience.


A: You ain’t goin’ nowhere no how. This here is duck tape honey.

B: I’ll just wait for the sun to warm the duct tape. The adhesive will soften, and I will easily free myself, you stupid yahoo.

A: You hadn’t oughtened a’ told me that Rosebud now I’m gonna have to set ya’ in the freezer.

B: Ok shit pants. The duct tape will freeze and crystallize and the tape will easily come lose. The freezer has an inside latch. I will burst out and club you with a frozen leg of lamb.

A: Dang it all! You’re a pesky little critter, ain’t you?

B: Yes, I’m, as you say, “pesky.” But, let me go and I’ll give you a million dollars. I’ll mail it to you when I get home. As you know, desperate people do desperate things. In my case, that involves giving you a pile of money.

A: Well, heck. Y’all paint a pretty little picture there. You let me ride home with you and you got a deal, Rosebud.

B: Ok. Let me put this duct tape around your wrists and ankles so I can trust you.

A: Awright.

B: 911?


Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Paper and Kindle editions of The Daily Trope are available on Amazon under the title The Book of Tropes.

Apodixis

Apodixis (a-po-dix’-is): Proving a statement by referring to common knowledge or general experience.


If I eat those beans there will be a fartopalypse. We all know that beans are the “musical fruit.” For me, they make me into a rampaging tuba. So please, I’m going to pass on your special baked beans. I’m sorry I had to tell you, but it is part of my ass-wind therapy.


Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Paper and Kindle editions of The Daily Trope are available on Amazon under the title The Book of Tropes.

Apodixis

Apodixis (a-po-dix’-is): Proving a statement by referring to common knowledge or general experience.

They say if you grease yourself up with Vaseline, it’s just like having warm clothes on, even though you’re naked. I’ve heard of a few people trying it out & having it work.

I’m going to slather on a couple jars of Vaseline and go out to the mailbox naked and check the mail. It’s -24, so it’ll be a good test of the Vaseline “theory.” I’ve heard about it so many times it’s got to be true. Let’s find out!

20 Minutes Later:

Hello, 911? My husband went outside naked about 20 minutes ago to check the mail. He hasn’t come back yet. I have a leg problem and can’t go outside, or I’d try to find him. Can you come over and check on him? He’s naked and all shiny from Vaseline.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Apodixis

Apodixis (a-po-dix’-is): Proving a statement by referring to common knowledge or general experience.

ME: What?

It’s 23 below zero outside. I don’t have a coat on (my coat’s in the front hall closet). Do you really think I would be outside singing the National Anthem and banging on the windows a little while ago? I would freeze to death.  Here–here’s my coat–feel it–it’s room temperature! I couldn’t have been outside in the past ten minutes. My coat would still be cold.

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Apodixis

Apodixis (a-po-dix’-is): Proving a statement by referring to common knowledge or general experience.

There is no way I took your Apple Watch. What the heck would I do with it? I don’t even have an iPad, let alone an Apple-anything. You know I hate Apple–I’m close friends with Bob Gates for crying out loud!

We’ve been friends since high school–that’s 35 years! Have I ever taken anything from you ever? No! Why would I start now?

Do you think I need to steal stuff to sell to make money? Come on, I make $650,000 per year. Even if your watch was the $15,000 model, I could buy a dozen and throw them at homeless people on freeway on-ramps just for kicks!

Jeez!  If this is such a big deal, I’ll even buy you a new one!

OK? Settled?

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

 

Apodixis

Apodixis (a-po-dix’-is): Proving a statement by referring to common knowledge or general experience.

What? I did not try to run your mother over with my lawn tractor yesterday. The grass was wet and she was running in front of it when she slipped and fell.  It was broad daylight.  The whole family was watching, laughing, and cheering her on. Do you really think I would run over my beloved mother-in-law on purpose, on the lawn, right there in front of everybody? My God, she’s your mother!

Come on dear, cheer up–let’s put those burgers on the grill and have another gin and tonic. What’s done is done. May she rest in peace.

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Apodixis

Apodixis (a-po-dix’-is): Proving a statement by referring to common knowledge or general experience.

I did not take your camera!  I just bought a brand new one that’s actually better than yours. Why would I even want yours, let alone, take it? Give me a break.

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).