Category Archives: epanorthosis

Epanorthosis

Epanorthosis (ep-an-or-tho’-sis): Amending a first thought by altering it to make it stronger or more vehement.


Every time I try to put things right, they go wrong—no, no, no, they go catastrophic. I go to the vet with my cat Barny. I decided to carry him to calm him & boom—he jumps out of my arms and runs away across the parking lot, jumps through the window of a waiting car and rides away. I was just trying to help him and things went way wrong. That was a year ago. I got a new cat and named him Barny 2. He is all black like the old Barny, but has a different demeanor. He likes clawing my ankles, yowling late at night, and knocking his food around the kitchen floor, like some kind of weird multi-puck hockey game.

I wanted everything to be right on the cat front. It never will be, but well, maybe it will be. Maybe I can work with Barny 2 to bring him around—to make him a model cat. There’s a place called “Bad Cat College” near where I live. My friend Etta had her cat cured there of its tendency grab ahold of her windpipe when she was sleeping. The cat, Blurto, was cured by substituting kitty treats for Etta’s windpipe. The cat gained a lot of weight, but Etta can sleep knowing her windpipe will be intact in the morning. I would like to stem Barny 2’s desire to eat my legs.

Sadly, Barny 2 disappeared 3 days ago. Maybe he’s gone for good. Right now I’m writing a short story called the “Incorrigible Cat.” The story ends with a woman and her cat fighting it out in the basement. The women hits the cat with its litter box and slams it up against the wall. The cat is unfazed and leaps on the woman’s head and tears one of her eyes out of its socket. The woman, bleeding from scratches and her eye socket, rips the cat off her head and strangles it with one hand, while she punches it in the face with her other hand.

This is like Dirty Harry meets Leo the Lion. Ha Ha. You might have guessed, that I’m actually done with cats. I think they are suitable for masochists, but not me. With luck, Barny 2 will never come home.


Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

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Epanorthosis

Epanorthosis (ep-an-or-tho’-sis): Amending a first thought by altering it to make it stronger or more vehement.


Every time I look at you I see shining doves flying toward the future—no no—what I see are golden butterflies fluttering through a purple haze toward Buddha’s third eye: the all-seeing eye that gazes inwardly contemplating Samsara and the non-beginning of all that is endless.

I hope my vision of you is not too heavy to bear. I see myself as a garden tool, destined by our entwined Karma to cultivate your awakening and facilitate your flourishing as you follow the Noble Eightfold Path and become a vegetarian pacifist like Stephen Colbert or Dolly Parton. Laughter and music are keys to the door of Enlightenment. Ha ha. Jolene.


Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

Buy a print edition of The Daily Trope! The print edition is entitled The Book of Tropes and is available on Amazon for $9.99. There is also a Kindle edition available for $5.99.

Epanorthosis

Epanorthosis (ep-an-or-tho’-sis): Amending a first thought by altering it to make it stronger or more vehement.

I am enjoying staying home! No, make that LOVING it! It’s like some kind of endless landlocked “Gilligan’s Island” episode, only we don’t have to escape and find a way home–we’re already there! I’ve taken on the persona of the Skipper, pushing everybody around, telling them what to do next and sarcastically registering my opposition to all of their worthless ideas. It’s good to be Skipper! But, ‘Mary Ann’ keeps asking for the combination to my gun safe, and ‘Ginger’ spends at least one hour every day eyeing my knife collection, which is locked in a showcase under glass. I really don’t care because I’m using ‘Gilligan’ as a human shield–keeping him one step in front of me all the time. It’s uncomfortable using the bathroom, but we both know that the ‘Skipper’ must be kept safe at all costs. Why? Because he’s the skipper dammit!

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

Buy a print edition of The Daily Trope! The print edition is entitled The Book of Tropes and is available on Amazon for $9.99. There is also a Kindle edition available for $5.99.

Epanorthosis

Epanorthosis (ep-an-or-tho’-sis): Amending a first thought by altering it to make it stronger or more vehement.

I really like coffee ice cream. No. Actually, I love coffee ice cream.  Wait! The truth is, I worship coffee ice cream! Each time I eat it, I pray to it. I pray that it won’t drip on my t-shirt, give me pimples, or make my sinuses hurt.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

Buy a print edition of The Daily Trope! The print edition is entitled The Book of Tropes and is available on Amazon for $9.99. There is also a Kindle edition available for $5.99.

Epanorthosis

Epanorthosis (ep-an-or-tho’-sis): Amending a first thought by altering it to make it stronger or more vehement.

The American people anxiously await the outcome as President-elect Trump works to put his cabinet together.

Or put another way: The American people are pooping in their pants as they await the outcome and pray that WWIII can be averted  as Trump announces his Cabinet appointees.

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

Epanorthosis

Epanorthosis (ep-an-or-tho’-sis): Amending a first thought by altering it to make it stronger or more vehement.

The outcome of today’s referendum in Scotland will have significant consequences no matter whether it’s a yes or a no vote for independence.

No, let’s put it this way: The Pound is losing weight, the price of crude is bubbling, Johnny Walker has on his running shoes, and my grandma is in her bedroom yelling “Wha daur meddle wi me!” at her Big Ben chiming souvenir clock.

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

Epanorthosis

Epanorthosis (ep-an-or-tho’-sis): Amending a first thought by altering it to make it stronger or more vehement.

The future does not exist. Neither does the past. Yet, they are theaters of hope, fear, remorse, happiness and all that is well or unwell as it is inscribed in the meat in our heads–in the brain–the house of joy and pain–but it is not the synapses, the neurons, and the flesh, and the blood that make the brain a home.

NO!

The past and the future are magically manifest spirits haunting our heads with the symbolic scent of life’s meaning and purpose, incarnate in the tongue-cut air blowing between us that bears the pollen of good and evil–that propagates the mind, making minding the address of the home that is nowhere, with no exit, no entrance, no windows, no doors, no roof, no floor, no walls–where WE are never alone, but I am.

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

Epanorthosis

Epanorthosis (ep-an-or-tho’-sis): Amending a first thought by altering it to make it stronger or more vehement.

Trying to understand what’s going on in the world by consuming social media is like trying to cross a busy intersection while you’re spinning around in circles! No–it’s WORSE than that! It’s like running into a burning building to save your life!

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

Epanorthosis

Epanorthosis (ep-an-or-tho’-sis): Amending a first thought by altering it to make it stronger or more vehement.

There’s something about his stiff affect that makes me wonder about his sincerity. No, wait a minute. On second thought, there’s actually something about everything he does and says that makes him look and sound like a complete liar! I don’t trust him.  Neither should you.

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

Epanorthosis

Epanorthosis (ep-an-or-tho’-sis): Amending a first thought by altering it to make it stronger or more vehement.

The more they try to make us look bad, the more we should try to make them look bad–no–pathologically evil–a threat to the existence of our way of life, our core values, and the safety of the people we love!

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)