Tag Archives: current-events

Intimation

Intimation: Hinting at a meaning but not stating it explicitly.

There’s a way of saying some things that puts them into a rather unsavory, even reprehensible, category of speech.

I’ll drop the pretense my friend (?): You are lying.

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Isocolon

Isocolon (i-so-co’-lon): A series of similarly structured elements having the same length. A kind of parallelism.

400 million dollars. 400 million lies. 400 million reasons to kiss this guy goodbye.

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

Kategoria

Kategoria (ka-te-go’-ri-a): Opening the secret wickedness of one’s adversary before his [or her] face.

It took a bunch of Russians hacking your email to find out, but now we know for certain that you tried to undermine Bernie Sanders’ campaign.

You are despicable!

You should be beyond ashamed.

Say goodbye to Philadelphia & go back to the swamp you crawled out of.

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu). Bracketed text added by Gorgias.

Litotes

Litotes (li-to’-tees): Deliberate understatement, especially when expressing a thought by denying its opposite. The Ad Herennium author suggests litotes as a means of expressing modesty (downplaying one’s accomplishments) in order to gain the audience’s favor (establishing ethos).

I’m not the most successful person you’ll ever know, and I haven’t travelled to every country in the world. But, let me tell you, I’ve accomplished enough and seen enough to know that I can lead this nation, and with your help, make it great again!

Make America Great Again!

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

Martyria

Martyria (mar-tir’-i-a): Confirming something by referring to one’s own experience.

See this scar?

It’s a token of pain. A trace of violence. An image of risk. A jagged lesson scribbled across my belly in slicing intersected strokes.

Clearly, I’m alive. Clearly, I survived the angry blade. Clearly, I fought back, or I would’t be here right now; I wouldn’t be standing right here, alive and well and ready to show you my plan–the plan that saved my life!

Simple! Here it is: It’s called a Glock. I emptied the magazine into the lunatic who was attacking me.

Problem solved!

I encourage you to try my plan!

If you can pull the trigger, you can defend yourself with a Glock!

Fire away!

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Medela

Medela (me-de’-la): When you can’t deny or defend friends’ faults and seek to heal them with good words.

Ok, ok. They may not appear to be completely her words, but the sentiments she expressed with them are certainly hers–she’s a loving wife and mother, and a respectful daughter with solid values and high moral ideals. She loves America and is probably deeply pained by what she’s accused of. Let’s give her a break and try to help mend her broken heart. Let’s focus on the sentiments and not who expressed them first. Originality isn’t the issue. In fact, just the opposite is the case.

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Meiosis

Meiosis (mei-o’-sis): Reference to something with a name disproportionately lesser than its nature (a kind of litotes). This term is equivalent to tapinosis.

Imagine, calling a string of commonplace cliches “plagiarism.” Melania was simply stating truisms–the kinds of things that common sense dictates when you’re talking about your parents’ advice and influence, raising children, and being an American. It’s like saying “I love you” is plagiarized because it’s been said countless times before!

What do I have to do now, think of a new way to say “I love you” because there’s a Valentine’s card that already says it?

I’ll tell you what! Nobody’s going to make me find a different way to say “I love you,”even if you call me a plagiarist! I love you is I love you. How else do I say it?

Speaking from the heart is not plagiarism, no matter how much it may sound like what other people say when they speak from the heart.

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Merismus

Merismus (mer-is’-mus): The dividing of a whole into its parts.

Donald Trump is one part showman, one part showman, and one part showman.

He’s all showman!

Right now, I’m enjoying the DT show: it’s a fun-filled comedy with wonderful supporting actors who add to the glee.

But, if he gets elected, I’m afraid it may become a farce, or a Greek tragedy.

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

Mesarchia

Mesarchia (mes-ar’-chi-a): The repetition of the same word or words at the beginning and middle of successive sentences.

I can’t say for sure where my culinary interest is tending; tending as as it is toward fast food.

I can’t say whether my culinary interest is best served up as Baconators; Baconators three beef patties high laced with crisp bacon, soaked by melting cheese.

I can’t say whether your interest in me will continue; continue as I become obese from obsessively consuming bags of fat dribbling 940 calorie burgers.

Will you feed me when I can’t move any more?

Bless you.

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

Mesodiplosis

Mesodiplosis (mes-o-dip-lo’-sis): Repetition of the same word or words in the middle of successive sentences.

It looks like the Libertarian candidate  is racking up the percentage points in recent polls. As fas as I can see the Libertarian candidate has over 20% of the vote. If that’s right, the Libertarian candidate is making a significant dent in Trump’s and Clinton’s percentages.

A viable third-part candidate!

Wow!

Just like the other Presidential candidates, Gary Johnson’s supporters will have to nominate him at the Libertarian Party’s national convention & everybody’ll be decked out in goofy election paraphernalia.

The Libertarians’ silly hats will say: “Minimum Government, Maximum Freedom.”  I wonder if the Libertarians’ hats will ‘trump’ “Make America Great Again” hats?

(By the way, Hilary’s hats don’t have a chance. “Stronger Together” sounds like a gang slogan: “The Outlaws: Stronger Together”)

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Metabasis

Metabasis (me-ta’-ba-sis): A transitional statement in which one explains what has been and what will be said.

Now that we have had a chance to thoroughly understand what the law and order candidate means by “law and order,” let’s take a look at what the other candidate seemingly means by “law and order” in the context of her recent brush withe FBI.

To start with . . .

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Metallage

Metallage (me-tal’-la-gee): When a word or phrase is treated as an object within another expression.

Looking at the so-called “race” to the White House, the word “endorsement” has taken on new significance in the Republican Party:

  • I’m not saying “No.” (Paul Ryan)
  • I may have started moving in that direction already! (Bobby Jindal)
  • “Endorsement” is a pretty strong word. (Marco Rubio)
  • I endorse the electoral process, the people of America, and the opportunity to offer an endorsement endorsing the aforementioned, and, Donald Trump’s singularly clear endorsement of it as well, and Donald and I stand united in our shared positive regard for processes of voting, the people of America, and the freedom to endorse or not to endorse candidates of our choice. (John Kasich)
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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Metaphor

Metaphor (met’-a-phor): A comparison made by referring to one thing as another.

This car is an armpit on wheels. It’s a smelly locker room with an engine; a mobile porta-potty with electric windows and seating for five.

What the hell have you been doing driving around in this Slobmobile?

Have you no pride?

Maybe a dozen air fresheners would help: 2 quarts of lilac and 2 quarts of jasmine along with 50 sticks of patchouli incense, a drum of Lysol concentrate and an Air Wick as tall as the National Newark Building.

Better yet, you should just pull over right now–right here on the Goethals Bridge–and light the damn thing on fire.

Here’s a lighter. I’m bailing out.

See you on Staten Island! Yaaaaaa!

_________________________________________

POSTSCRIPT

“Don’t shame your friends into bailing out of your car. Keep its interior clean & use air fresheners sensibly. Keep your friends alive. Do not stink and drive.”

Gov. Chris Christie

New Jersey

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Metaplasm

Metaplasm (met’-a-plazm): A general term for orthographical figures (changes to the spelling of words). This includes alteration of the letters or syllables in single words, including additions, omissions, inversions, and substitutions. Such changes are considered conscious choices made by the artist or orator for the sake of eloquence or meter, in contrast to the same kinds of changes done accidentally and discussed by grammarians as vices (see barbarism). See: antistheconaphaeresisapocopeepenthesisparagoge, synaloepha.

That Donald Trump sure isn’t humbly-bumbly–he’s an arrogantic ego-normous self promoting meopolis: A narcissistic sprawl of blighted plans, ramshackle proposals, and dangerous roads and highways.

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Metastasis

Metastasis (me-tas’-ta-sis): Denying and turning back on your adversaries arguments used against you.

The so-called bipartisan report states that I should’ve been better prepared to deal with what was the likelihood of an almost certain attack on our outpost in Benghazi–that we shouldn’t have had high-level assets stationed at such a high-risk location.

All I can say at this point is, as a consequence of Congressional cutbacks to funding of on-the-ground intelligence and expenditures on defensive fortifications of US Government outposts during my time as Secretary of State, I would’ve been surprised to have had any solid information whatsoever as to impending attacks, or anything else for that matter. Moreover, I repeatedly petitioned Congress to fill the intelligence and equipment gaps so I could more effectively do my job and ensure, as much as humanly possible, the safety of our personnel stationed in Libya.

Given the resources I was provided with, I exercised due diligence in my decisions to keep Ambassador Stevens and the CIA Contractors in place.

You may criticize me all day long, but you might as well be criticizing yourselves. When you want to know who is to blame for Benghazi, look at each other and hang your heads.

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Ominatio

Ominatio (o-mi-na’-ti-o): A prophecy of evil.

Lo unto you, I prophecy:

A bleak darkness shall enwrap merry Olde England in a stinking miasma of bigoted gasses and shattered dreams, fanned throughout the land by droll talking heads and political buskers.

Many Pounds will be shed on an unwanted diet of economic deprivation as the Exchequer lies abed, gasping for hard currency, all skin and bones, yet unrepentant, as the marketplace turns to fire and our brave Investors hose it with Euros in a vain attempt to quell its catastrophic flames.

BREXIT has, shall, and will spell cold hearths, broken hearts and empty purses. Our children will suffer. Our economy will burn out like a super nova, leaving us to observe only smoke and ruin.

As the Crown shall surely fall, an independent Scotland will ascend to its former glory, as its Auld Alliance is resurrected and it stands proudly alongside France, a dire threat to England once again!

Beware! The worm is turning.

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Orcos

Orcos (or’-kos): Swearing that a statement is true.

X: Where is my red shirt?

RAY: I have no idea.

X: You lie you die!

RAY: I swear on my mother’s grave: I DO NOT KNOW.

X: Your mother is alive and well in Miami.

RAY: Well then, I swear on your mother’s grave.

X: That does it. Put up your hands. I’m taking you in.

RAY: Hello, 911? My roommate has flipped his widget–what’s that? His widget! It’s just a figure of speech, like flipping one’s wig, or flipping out.

Now, please send somebody over! He’s threatening me–he is pointing his cheap Chinese spatula at me. He’s waving it around. HURRY!

X: I see my shirt under the couch. Sorry.

RAY: Dumb ass.

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Oxymoron

Oxymoron (ox-y-mo’-ron): Placing two ordinarily opposing terms adjacent to one another. A compressed paradox.

Hilary is exuberantly pessimistic about Trump’s chances of being elected. Trump, on the other hand, is caustically optimistic that he’s going to win.

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Paenismus

Paenismus (pai-nis’-mus): Expressing joy for blessings obtained or an evil avoided.

Hark! I bring tidings of comfort and joy!

My new underpants from Duluth Trading Post are all they’re ‘cracked’ up to be.

I walk in comfort. I sit in comfort. I stand in comfort. I live in comfort.

Oh the comfort and joy! No more binding or chafing.

These underpants are my salvation.

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Paragoge

Paragoge (par-a-go’-ge): The addition of a letter or syllable to the end of a word. A kind of metaplasm.

Pundits are predicting that Pontius ‘The Donald’ Trump will wash his hands & remain impartial as Christ Christie is sentenced by the “Press” to crucifixion just for being asked by Ivana to serve as Vice President!

(We predict Christ Christie will bargain his sentence down to public flogging, and eventually have it dismissed. We predict Christie WILL BE Pontius Trump’s running mate. God bless New Jersey.)

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Paralipsis

Paralipsis (par-a-lip’-sis): Stating and drawing attention to something in the very act of pretending to pass it over (see also cataphasis). A kind of irony.

It would be ridiculous mentioning your obsession with i-Hop’s dessert pancakes as your only real direct engagement with anything remotely international as in the “International House of Pancakes.” I won’t mention how your negotiating skills consistently earn you a double dollop of cream cheese icing on your beloved red velvet pancakes. Why won’t I mention it? It is totally beside the point.

Now, back to reality! How do you think your experience as a negotiator will preclude a nuclear war or, on a less apocalyptic note, a renewal of the cold war?

I know I’m probably asking you to compare securing extra pancake toppings with saving Western Civilization as we know it, but hey, I’m a journalist and the American people deserve a double-dollop of claptrap as much as you deserve a double dollop of cream cheese icing.

So, Mr. Trump: pancakes or apocalypse? Which is it? The American people have a right to know.

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

Paramythia (pa-ra-mee’-thi-a): An expression of consolation and encouragement.

You can’t win ’em all. Look, you’re only 17 years old. Forget about politics for the next 20 years!

Look, Uncle George wasn’t anything at all his whole life until he was in his 40s, then, presto, like magic he was Governor of Texas and President of the USA. Like your uncle, you ought to dedicate your youth to cocaine, alcohol, Country Western Dancing, and screwing up oil companies. These are developmental experiences and will prepare you for a later life of public service.

Now, chin up. Have a beer. Relax.

Ha Ha!

Have another beer!

You’ll get there–take it from your Grand Daddy (do not listen to your Aunt Laura–she’s a stick in the mud & doesn’t know the difference between a bad time, lunch time, and happy hour).

Here’s to you, boy! “May your youthful indiscretions prepare you to lead the United States of America into the next Cold War.”

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

Paregmenon (pa-reg’-men-on): A general term for the repetition of a word or its cognates in a short sentence. Often, but not always, polyptoton.

Today, tonight, tomorrow. Today, the election. Tonight the results.

Tomorrow, perhaps there will be sorrow, but that sorrow will be assuaged by our gratitude and our hope–our gratitude for how far we were able to come and our hope for a future filled with the echoes of our voices, and responsive to the critical insights that our continued solidarity engenders and demands.

But tonight may be the most joyous night we have seen, felt, or known in our entire lives. Let us hope–hope for the fulfillment of our dream–a dream made real by promises kept and a faith well-formed by ideals of human togetherness sweetly resonant with the fundamental tenet of virtually all orders of faith–whether secular or sacred, or something else: Love your neighbor.

So, regardless of whether we laugh or cry tonight or tomorrow, we are made whole by the power of love–by the power of love, love, love. Love today. Love tonight. Love tomorrow. The power love.

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Pareuresis (par-yur-ee’-sis): To put forward a convincing excuse. [Shifting the blame.]

I tried my hardest to keep from telling the truth–I did everything I could to misrepresent Bernie’s basic platform as a paean to neo-facist-socialist-racism, only to be thwarted by David Duke’s conversion to the Church of the Later-Day Saints and fervent support of what he calls Bernie’s “nice-guy agenda.”

I tried my best to paint Donald Trump as connected to the Church of Satan as one of the Evil One’s minions, but Anton LaVay spilled the hot coals and claimed that Donald Trump makes him want to sing songs from “Annie.”  After singing “Tomorrow” continuously for 12 hours and raising $1,000,000.00 for Mr. Trump, Mr. LaVay left for Rome and a private audience with Pope Francis and Vince, the spokesperson for Shamwow.

Given the opposition’s fluidity, credibility, and willingness to go 360, there’s no way I can besmirch Bernie or Donald–even with the truth!

Accordingly, I think the time has come!

We better call Bill: the world’s greatest truth-twister, accusation generator, and umbrage taker. He can spin innuendo faster than Duke or LaVay can detect it and deal with it, and he can dance around the truth with more gusto, flash, sensuality, and clarity than Maria Pagés does with her soul-trancing tangos.

Call the massage parlor & tell him to get his slap-happy campaign butt over here!

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu). Bracketed text added by Gorgias.

Paroemion

Paroemion (par-mi’-on): Alliteration taken to an extreme where nearly every word in a sentence begins with the same consonant. Sometimes, simply a synonym for alliteration or for homoeoprophoron [a stylistic vice].

Ted’s facial tic taps tarnished truths too terrible to try to tell to trendsetters, tattletales, Trumpers, torqueheads, ticket takers, taxi trippers, troublemakers, totalitarians, tapdancers, truckdrivers, tippers, timekeepers, trackers, trappers, techies, turncoats or his mommy, who will spank him.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).