Category Archives: proecthesis

Proecthesis

Proecthesis (pro-ek’-the-sis): When, in conclusion, a justifying reason is provided.


I went downtown— or at least I thought I went downtown. There was no downtown downtown, just a bunch of empty storefronts. It’s an old story—here comes the mall, there goes downtown. Then I noticed a narrow little storefront that had a light on inside it. “A survivor!” I thought. “I’ve got to check this out.” Painted in gold lettering on the store’s window, it said “Nebulosity.” There was a sign hanging in the door that said “More Or Less Open.”

I opened the door and went inside. It smelled like clothes that had been packed away for years in cedar in somebody’s basement. The showcases had a blurry quality when you looked directly into them, their contents was blurred, out of the corner of your eye, they were focused, but you couldn’t tell what they were. I thought, “How does he make a living?” But, I quickly found out that he was actually she—once again I had assumed that a man ran things. I wished I could kill that bias.

She was a marvel to behold. In fact, she was a little scary. She wore a beautiful dress made from freshly picked grape leaves, golden bracelets on both wrists, and a hat that looked like the sun setting in front of a silver cloud. And she had on bronze-colored Birkenstocks. She held a mug of steaming tea. I could tell it was Chamomile. The mug was made of stone and had a rune marking inscribed on it. I am a Professor of Ancient Nordic Culture, so I could read the rune and understand it’s significance: G – Gebo (ᚷ). Meaning: ”Gift”—love, partnerships, generosity, exchanges, marriage.

Things were happening too fast. I was overwhelmed. I asked her name. “Helga ” she told me. He name means “sacred.” I asked why she had that particular rune, Gebo, inscribed on her stone mug. “What are you looking for?” I asked. She looked at me with shining hazel eyes that, incredibly, made me want to spend my life with her. I thought, “I’ve got to get the hell out of here!” I started toward the door. “No! Please stay!” Her voice was musical—melodic and inflected. I stopped and turned. She said, “Look in this showcase” and waved her hand over it. It came into sharp focus. There, inside the showcase, I was sitting on a sort of couch next to Helga. We were wrapped in furs and she was holding a baby—our baby. There was a huge fire roaring in the fireplace and wind-blown snow falling outside. “This could be our future. All we need to do is open the showcase and our new lives will begin,” Helga said. “Why me?” I asked. Helga answered: “I could see the light shining from your heart when you walked through the door. But let us look at our distant future.” We looked into the fourth showcase—there we were. It was spring and we were old. Our three children and eight grandchildren were there, we embraced in a big clump and then, I started reading a book to the youngest grandchildren. It was titled “Vikings” and was about my great-grandfather’s exploits when he was a much younger man.

“I want this,” I cried with tears in my eyes. I had to settle the deaths of my wife child, electrocuted in our swimming pool. It happened five years ago and my heart had been burning for love ever since—burning for something that could heal the longing and pain and grief. Helga looked at me with the quality of affection I longed for. She gave me hope that I could overcome my guilt-stricken past.

Helga waved her hand and the showcases went blurry again. We embraced and she opened the first showcase and we were drawn in like some kind of living mist. As we floated through the void, Helga gasped and pushed me away. “You killed them!” she cried as she left me behind to drift in the void forever.


Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Buy a print edition of The Daily Trope! The print edition is entitled The Book of Tropes and is available on Amazon for $9.99. A Kindle edition is available for $5.99.

Proecthesis

Proecthesis (pro-ek’-the-sis): When, in conclusion, a justifying reason is provided.


Ok. I admit everything—I cheated, I lied, I blew out the credit card, I hit a raccoon with our car, I spilled coffee on the couch, I broke the back door window, I sold my wedding ring on E-Bay, I made crank calls to your mother, I shot a hole in our wedding picture, I broke the dishwasher, I forgot Georgie’s birthday, my name isn’t really Clay Potts, I was never a policeman, my college diploma is fake, I tapped into our neighbor’s wi-fi network, I stole our car, I don’t know how to raise chickens, I’m actually 45, I don’t have a bad back, I’ve never been to Finland, I’m not a genius, I have an inoperable brain tumor, I’ll be dead in two weeks. If you don’t believe me, here’s a note from Dr. Welby.

According to the doctor, it all adds up. The tumor can influence your behavior for 10 or 20 years. It provides the answer for all the crazy shit I’ve done. I’m not asking for pity or forgiveness. I’m going to sit in my recliner and wait for the end. Or, maybe I’ll take a trip and die somewhere warm, like Ratso in “Midnight Cowboy.” If you can gift me $500, I’ll be on my way.


Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Buy a print edition of The Daily Trope! The print edition is entitled The Book of Tropes and is available on Amazon for $9.99. A Kindle edition is available for $5.99.

Proecthesis

Proecthesis (pro-ek’-the-sis): When, in conclusion, a justifying reason is provided.


Me: Ok. I lied to you about everything. My name isn’t John. My father isn’t George Bush. I never went to college. I hate Swiss cheese. This house isn’t mine. I’m not an attorney. But, I love you. When your dad was fatally wounded during our last liquor store holdup, I promised him I would do anything to make sure you have a good life, and we have had a good life despite my lies.

You: My father?! I’m leaving. I’m never coming back. You piece of shit.


Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Buy a print edition of The Daily Trope! The print edition is entitled The Book of Tropes and is available on Amazon for $9.99. A Kindle edition is available for $5.99.

Proecthesis

Proecthesis (pro-ek’-the-sis): When, in conclusion, a justifying reason is provided.

Ok, so I’ve been missing for seven years. No, I haven’t been in prison. I didn’t remarry or even have any kind of relationship with anybody for all those years. I just got stuck in the “grass is always greener” syndrome. Every time I thought about coming back, I got a glimpse of the other side and just kept on going. Finally, I got to a place in Nevada where there was no grass. I decided to come home right then and there. Now, I’m mowing lawns for a living and it keeps me satisfied. Can we start over?

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Buy a print edition of The Daily Trope! The print edition is entitled The Book of Tropes and is available on Amazon for $9.99. A Kindle edition is available for $5.99.

Proecthesis

Proecthesis (pro-ek’-the-sis): When, in conclusion, a justifying reason is provided.

Clearly, some level of leaking is permissible. It gives us information where we need to make the decisions we need to make. Along with everything else, within certain limitations, leaking is a good thing in Western liberal democracies.

In sum, we need clarity. We need transparency. We need all the information we can get so that we can be an informed electorate. Leaks serve that interest. Don’t plug the leaks! Set up parameters & let the information flow.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Buy a print edition of The Daily Trope! The print edition is entitled The Book of Tropes and is available on Amazon for $9.99.

Proecthesis

Proecthesis (pro-ek’-the-sis): When, in conclusion, a justifying reason is provided.

Do not call it a “terrorist attack.” Do not call them “terrorists.” “Terrorist” is too good a word for them. Call it a “shit stainer attack.” Call them “shit stainers.” For their actions make shit stains on the totality of Islam.

Their calls to prayer spew shit from minarets and stain the pathways to worship with unholy filth.

Their professions of faith spew shit on the Quran and stain God’s revelations with unholy filth.

Call them “shit stainers.”

Make your jihad the removal of the shit stainers from the face of the earth.

Unite.

Restore the good name of Islam.

  • Post your own proecthesis on the “Comments” page!

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Proecthesis

Proecthesis (pro-ek’-the-sis): When, in conclusion, a justifying reason is provided.

I must go now–my family needs me.

  • Post your own proecthesis on the “Comments” page!

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).