Euche (yoo’-kay): A vow to keep a promise.
“I promise to do the dishes, “ I broke my promise and my wife did the dishes. “I promise to paint the toolshed.” I broke the promise and we hired Joey Newton, our neighbor’s son. “I promised to rake the leaves.” I broke the promise and we hired Joey again.
As you can plainly see, I’m a chronic promise breaker. I picked up this habit when I was a little boy. I’ve made thousands of promises that I never kept.
The last promise I made was “I’ll be home for dinner at 6 O’clock.”
I never came home.
Out of the thousands of promises I’ve made and broken, there’s one I thought I’d never break. I promised my wife “If space aliens land in our yard, I’ll protect you and our family.”
Then it happened. Two days later space aliens landed in our yard.
I broke my promise.
I peered out the basement window as an alien marched my wife to its space craft. She was carrying our infant son, Richard.
Poof!
My whole family gone in one shot. I vowed never to make another promise. I became a liar instead. I continued down the road of inconstancy with lies flying everywhere. Lying was much easier than breaking promises. I lied about my age. I lied about my job. I lied about my height and weight, ethnicity, hair color, my favorite things, bank account, education, and everything else. I didn’t know what I believed any more, but one thing was true: I was lonely. Then, I met Mindy, a chronic promise breaker. We were enrolled in “It’s All Bullshit,” a seminar for people like us.
We made a perfect couple: a chronic promise-breaker and a chronic liar. She was unreliable, and I was dishonest. This created the empty space between us that was our relationship: we had no expectation of follow-through or honesty. Since there was no expectation between us, there was nothing to get upset about. My lies were detectable. Her promises were ridiculous.
We lived happily ever after, free of the soul-numbing expectations that tear so many relationships apart.
The Daily Trope 