Metallage

Metallage (me-tal’-la-gee): When a word or phrase is treated as an object within another expression.


I’m sick of your “I’m sorry” all the time.


Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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Metaphor

Metaphor (met’-a-phor): A comparison made by referring to one thing as another.


Your hope is a blindfold keeping you from seeing what’s actually possible. Your hope for wealth and fame can’t be realized by hoping. You must have a plan, and the means, and the opportunity and much, much more. Take off the blindfold and do something.


Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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Metaplasm

Metaplasm (met’-a-plazm): A general term for orthographical figures (changes to the spelling of words). This includes alteration of the letters or syllables in single words, including additions, omissions, inversions, and substitutions. Such changes are considered conscious choices made by the artist or orator for the sake of eloquence or meter, in contrast to the same kinds of changes done accidentally and discussed by grammarians as vices (see barbarism). See: antisthecon, aphaeresis, apocope, epenthesis, paragoge, synaloepha.


I had high hopes for our romance, but our love has turned into leave. You don’t listen to me. You don’t talk to me. We stay three feet apart. You go out every night. You come home at 4.00 a.m. smelling of gin and cigarettes. We don’t eat together. We don’t go out. No sex. We might as well have separate lives—stupid solo-ites sitting at a bar with a glass full of blues and a bitter heart looking for love again. I am damnfounded as to how it all fell apart.


Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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Metastasis

Metastasis (me-tas’-ta-sis): Denying and turning back on your adversaries arguments used against you.


Incite? I think you meant insight. This is what I think: Your hearings are doing the inciting. As patriotic Americans hear your lies about the peaceful visitors on a guided tour of the Capitol on January 6th, who were met and ejected from the building by force, by order of Nancy Pelosi, they have become very angry and mistrustful of the federal government’s role in all of this. They might even think the right thing to do at this point is to burn down the Capitol with all the Democrat Representatives, and the two Republican traitors, locked inside.

I’m not inciting anything here today with my remarks, and, by the way, I’m just speculating like you are. You’re running a guessing game, so can I. But my guesses are based in facts. Yours are based in lies about a group of innocent tourists who were violently ejected from the Capitol by overzealous police, who attacked them on orders from Pelosi. She’s the one you should be questioning and charging with crimes against the American people. She’s the one who should go to prison. She’s a disgrace.


Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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Metonymy

Metonymy (me-ton’-y-my): Reference to something or someone by naming one of its attributes. [This may include effects or any of the four Aristotelian causes {efficient/maker/inventor, material, formal/shape, final/purpose}.]


Palm Beach Fats sat on his golf cart throne surveying his swimming pool, sipping a Diet Coke, and slopping away at a double large breakfast burrito supreme. He held the big burrito with his well-manicured baby-size grippers.

He had told 20 lies already and it was only 9.30 in the morning.

He was warming up for the night’s rally in Virginia with his loyal lump. “They love me more than God,” he muttered as he vigorously scratched his rear end with his smaller-than-average index finger.


Definition courtesy of “Sliva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu). Bracketed text added by Gorgias.

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Ominatio

Ominatio (o-mi-na’-ti-o): A prophecy of evil.


I say, the world will become a terrible place: Wild-eyed, uncaring, ignorant, belligerent people will go into retail sales at a place named after a River. Their mantra will be “the customer is an ass” as they pack boxes and envelopes and load them on trucks in a filthy windowless warehouse outside Seattle. They will delight in sending empty packages from time to time knowing the vexations it will cause customers who can’t understand the arcane refund policies.

Lo, shopping will become ‘on-line’ and people will be required to have credit cards, ensnared by banks in the cashless internet. “MasterCard” or “Visa” accepted will replace “come on in” as face-to-face commerce fades and the human touch is replaced by filling in an order form and offering your account number to nobody—a bot without a soul.


Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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Onedismus

Onedismus (on-e-dis’-mus): Reproaching someone for being impious or ungrateful.


You act like God is a pimp, there to procure whatever you desire. Your prayers are like telling Santa what you want for Christmas. You’re too self-absorbed to ever be considered a person of faith. Stop calling yourself Godly. Reflect and reconsider your life’s trajectory.


Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.ed).

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Onomatopoeia

Onomatopoeia (on-o-mat-o-pee’-a): Using or inventing a word whose sound imitates that which it names (the union of phonetics and semantics).


When Trump walked quickly, his XXL adult diaper made a sloshing sound signaling Melania it was time for a change. Given that they were in Florida, she called Gov. DeSantis. “You promised,” Melania said in a threatening tone of voice. “No is not an option for you little man. He stinks and Junior is nowhere to be found. Do you want to stay Governor? Do you want to see sunrise tomorrow?”

DeSantis came in by chopper 15 minutes later—you could hear it’s budda budda budda as it circled Mar-a-Lago. He hopped out wearing rubber gloves and a gas mask and carrying a big plastic bag filled with XXL butt wipes. “Let’s do this” he said as he snapped his rubber gloves around his wrists.

As he walked in, he saw a sleeping Trump laying in his diaper on a large custom-built changing table decorated with gold angels and rhinestones.

“He’s sedated,” Melania informed DeSantis. “Thank God for that!” DeSantis exclaimed as a reached for the diaper’s Velcro tab. It made a scrooching sound as he pulled it open. Then, DeSantis tightened his gas mask and went in. He pulled out one of the baby-blanket size butt wipes when suddenly Trump woke up, and leaving his soiled diaper behind, jumped off the table, and walked quickly toward the swimming pool. His white terrycloth spa slippers softly flip-flopping on the tile floor.

“Don’t worry, sometime he want to clean himself. He uses pool,” Melania told DeSantis.


Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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Optatio

Optatio (op-ta’-ti-o): Expressing a wish, often ardently.


As I wish upon a star, I would love to have a Cuban cigar. The orange glow on a warm summer night, the delicious aroma, the flavor, and the perfect ash. Romeo y Juliette wherefore art thou?


Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetorica” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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Orcos

Orcos (or’-kos): Swearing that a statement is true.


I swear to all I revere and hold holy that I am about to tell the truth. You have my assurance that I won’t lie about something as important as this. Prevarication is off the table as are fibbing, bs’ing, telling whoppers, and bearing false witness.

What was the question, again?


Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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Oxymoron

Oxymoron (ox-y-mo’-ron): Placing two ordinarily opposing terms adjacent to one another. A compressed paradox.


She was a beautiful mess: simultaneously attractive and repelling, like durian, like deadly nightshade. I loved her and I hated her. I was torn in half, and fought with myself to embrace the better half.


Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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Paenismus

Paenismus (pai-nis’-mus): Expressing joy for blessings obtained or an evil avoided.


Wee haaa! Another sunny day! Let’s try to finish painting the house today.


Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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Palilogia

Palilogia: Repetition of the same word, with none between, for vehemence. Synonym for epizeuxis.


Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! He stole my wallet! Credit card! Cash! Shit! Your brother is a criminal bastard. We never should’ve taken him in. I’m calling the police—they can take him in now!


Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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Parabola

Parabola (par-ab’-o-la): The explicit drawing of a parallel between two essentially dissimilar things, especially with a moral or didactic purpose. A parable.


Life is a cardboard box: Sometimes it’s empty, sometimes it’s not. Either way, full and empty don’t mark it as better or worse.


Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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Paragoge

Paragoge (par-a-go’-ge): The addition of a letter or syllable to the end of a word. A kind of metaplasm.


I got so smartarola playing Popper Knock! It’s way too complicated to explain, but there is popping and knocking involved. I say, give it a try-o! Just get yourself a pair of leather gloves and a face shield and you’re almost there. Popper Knock!


Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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Paralipsis

Paralipsis (par-a-lip’-sis): Stating and drawing attention to something in the very act of pretending to pass it over (see also cataphasis). A kind of irony.


God knows we’ve talked about universal health care enough. It’s not like we haven’t had this conversation—this conversation about raising taxes on the rich—making a micro-scratch on the surface of their glittering wealth, while freeing billions of dollars to save lives and keep us healthy—our eyes, our insides, our teeth—everything!


Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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Paramythia

Paramythia (pa-ra-mee’-thi-a): An expression of consolation and encouragement.


I’m so sorry your son Jr. is giving drug-fueled speeches on your behalf. It’s like having an overflowing porta-potty on your otherwise gleaming sweet-smelling team. But you’ve been through worse—Stormy Daniels is your benchmark for the bottom, and you got through that with only a scratch. Oh, we can’t forget the impeachments—they didn’t make a dent. Oh yes—and the kids in cages at the border: hardly a ripple. Really, the only thing slowing you down is the truth. Just keep telling lies, the bigger the better, and you’ll be our first Dictator by the end of August. Relax and enjoy the sidelines for a little while. Everything’s going to be ok.


Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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Paraprosdokian

Paraprosdokian: A figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase [or series = anticlimax] is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe the first part. . . . For this reason, it is extremely popular among comedians and satirists. An especially clever paraprosdokian not only changes the meaning of an early phrase, but also plays on the double meaning of a particular word.(1)


I turned Right on the Highway of Life and it was full of potholes.


1. “Paraprosdokian.” WikipediaThe Free Encyclopedia. 4 Jan 2008, 03:30 UTC. Wikimedia Foundation, Inc. 9 Jan 2008 <http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paraprosdokian>.

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Peregmenon

Paregmenon (pa-reg’-men-on): A general term for the repetition of a word or its cognates in a short sentence. Often, but not always, polyptoton.


Trump. Trump. Trump. His name sounds like a flat tire slapping the pavement. And like a flat tire, he’s a pain in the ass. When is he going to go far, far, far, far away? Maybe like Napoleon he should be exiled to an island. Coney Island fits his character. But North Brother Island in New York’s East River might be the right place.

The island operated until 1943 as a “quarantine station for people suffering from infectious diseases like tuberculosis, smallpox, measles, and typhoid fever.” ( https://interactive.wttw.com/urbannature/new-yorks-deserted-island#!/)

I think it is appropriate to view Trump as a vector—as a carrier of immorality and criminal tendencies. Getting him out there alone without social media in the middle of the East River will save a lot of gullible people from being conned and robbed.

Exile! Exile! Exile!


Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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Paroemion

Paroemion (par-mi’-on): Alliteration taken to an extreme where nearly every word in a sentence begins with the same consonant. Sometimes, simply a synonym for alliteration or for homoeoprophoron [a stylistic vice].


I’m digging deep in the dense dirt, displaying determination. Done! Now we plant the little peach tree, hoping it will grow and flourish like the little apple tree we planted years ago. You were a child, and I was pretty old already.


Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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Paromoiosis

Paromoiosis (par-o-moy-o’-sis): Parallelism of sound between the words of adjacent clauses whose lengths are equal or approximate to one another. The combination of isocolon and assonance.


Time’s passing cuts up my life

With the stained blade of strife

Dulled by hope, apathy, mania, and fear

It’s painful drag makes me a seer

I see the inevitable future with total certainty, but I don’t know when

Time will stop inside my head and they’ll bury me in the glen


Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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Paromologia

Paromologia (par-o-mo-lo’-gi-a): Conceding an argument, either jestingly and contemptuously, or to prove a more important point. A synonym for concessio.


Yeah, you’re right about something for the first time since I’ve known you! But how trivial does it get? So what if I took the batteries out of your stupid toy? I needed them for my flashlight so I could fix the sink drain. Instead of calling it “stealing” you should think of another way of putting it—how about “took”? I’m not a thief, but you are an idiot. We need a little more trust around here. Ok, I’m sorry I called you an idiot. Maybe I’m an idiot for not asking to borrow the batteries.


Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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Paronomasia

Paronomasia (pa-ro-no-ma’-si-a): Using words that sound alike but that differ in meaning (punning).


My porpoise in life is to just squeak bye.


Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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Parrhesia

Parrhesia (par-rez’-i-a): Either to speak candidly or to ask forgiveness for so speaking. Sometimes considered a vice.


Her: I’m sorry, but I just have tell you: your husband is gone along with all the money in your joint checking account. He sold your car and his ride mower last night while you were sleeping. He’s headed for Vegas, where—guess what? He’s divorcing you and getting remarried as soon as the divorce goes through.

Wife: That bastard! I knew he’d do something like this some day. How do you know all this?

Her: I’m leaving for Vegas on the 5.30 flight. As your neighbor and friend, I figured I should be the one to tell you what’s going on.


Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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Pathopoeia

Pathopoeia ( path-o-poy’-a): A general term for speech that moves hearers emotionally, especially as the speaker attempts to elicit an emotional response by way of demonstrating his/her own feelings (exuscitatio). Melanchthon explains that this effect is achieved by making reference to any of a variety of pathetic circumstances: the time, one’s gender, age, location, etc.


He was born in 1946–at the end of WWII. He grew up in the 1950s—he volunteered to take the experimental polio vaccine, he watched Howdy Doody and Rooted for the Brooklyn Dodgers, and played first base in Little League. He barely graduated from high school in 1966. He joined the Army and went to Vietnam. After that, he went to Woodstock. He bought a Triumph Thunderbolt and wandered around America on two wheels. He took a lot of acid, and learned how to do leatherwork, ending up in Monterey, CA, working in a small leather shop overlooking the Bay. One day, he decided to go to college on the GI Bill. He started out at a community college where they had open admissions. He got an Associate’s Degree and applied to the UC system, and was admitted to UC Santa Barbara. He graduated with a Masters and then went on to get a PhD from the University of Washington. He was a professor for many years. After 2 failed marriages, he met his current wife and they have a beautiful daughter. Their lives overflowed with love.

In every direction I look, I see tearful people, people remembering the goodness of this man and feeling the bonds of friendship that tied their lives, but no more. Now, there are memories—ephemeral traces and visions of what no longer exists, but affects us all as if he was seated there among you.

Goodbye my friend—my truest friend. Goodbye forever.


Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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