Metaplasm

Metaplasm (met’-a-plazm): A general term for orthographical figures (changes to the spelling of words). This includes alteration of the letters or syllables in single words, including additions, omissions, inversions, and substitutions. Such changes are considered conscious choices made by the artist or orator for the sake of eloquence or meter, in contrast to the same kinds of changes done accidentally and discussed by grammarians as vices (see barbarism). See: antistheconaphaeresisapocopeepenthesisparagoge, synaloepha.

I can’t believe the daily corrupto news flashes. The White House has turned into the Wrong House–the wrong house for Donald Trump. Neeirly every day lands a new scandal. When will it all come to a head? Or better, when will it all come to an end? When we invade N. Korea?

Help!

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Metastasismeta

Metastasis (me-tas’-ta-sis): Denying and turning back on your adversaries arguments used against you.

You say I lied about colluding with my dentist. Well, let me tell you: you wouldn’t have these ideas unless you had something to do with it. That goes for the Russians too!! You’re the one who’s done the colluding & that’s a fact. Just ask Putin–he’ll tell the truth.

Remember: I’m the President and Presidents don’t lie.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Metonymy

Metonymy (me-ton’-y-my): Reference to something or someone by naming one of its attributes. [This may include effects or any of the four Aristotelian causes {efficient/maker/inventor, material, formal/shape, final/purpose}.]

President hair wad seemed lost at the G20 summit.

Definition courtesy of “Sliva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu). Bracketed text added by Gorgias.

Ominatio

Ominatio (o-mi-na’-ti-o): A prophecy of evil.

Oh Korea of the North! Hear me, for I am the Prophet Pence!

Your meddling with atoms can only lead to infinite woe. Your bold, yet reckless, experiments with world-crossing rockets will cause great anger and prompt many long-winded diatribes from your many enemies. So, I say unto you, put your Won into feeding your people or I prophesy an angry wind will blow across your Korea of the North and turn your shining missiles into giant cardboard toys.

Hear me that ye may forewarned! I am the Prophet Pence and I can see into the future.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Onedismus

Onedismus (on-e-dis’-mus): Reproaching someone for being impious or ungrateful.

I gave you more than half of our peanuts. You just gobble them up. You don’t even look at me. You just keep stuffing them into your mouth. 

Can’t you at least say “Thank-you”? I would appreciate it. If you don’t   thank me I’m going home to my mother. She would thank me.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.ed).

Onomatopoeia

Onomatopoeia (on-o-mat-o-pee’-a): Using or inventing a word whose sound imitates that which it names (the union of phonetics and semantics).

My heart went boom, boom, boom. Then it went squish, squish, squish as they gave me CPR. My marathon-running days are over forever! I’ll have to be content with fast walking around the mall or the supermarket.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

Optatio

Optatio (op-ta’-ti-o): Expressing a wish, often ardently.

I wish I hadn’t said that. It did more damage than I ever imagined it would. In the future, I’ll steer clear of references to bleeding in my Tweets. 

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetorica” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

Orcos

Orcos (or’-kos): Swearing that a statement is true.

Senator Lunar: How many Russians can dance on the Head of the FBI?

Government Witless: Probably 5 or 6. But, respectfully, I believe it is the head of a pin, not an actual head & that it is somehow a metaphysical meditation on the corporeality of Russians’ souls (if they have any in the first place).

Senator Veritas: You lie I cry!

Government Witless: I swear I am telling the truth so far as Senator Lunar’s more or less insane question begs me to.  By the way: Your mother is alive and well in Miami.

Senator Lunar: 5 or 6 Russians dancing on Comey’s head, eh? There is no bruising. I think you’re lying Witless.

Government Witless: Respectfully Senator Lunar, my answer is true insofar as it is consistent with a historical tradition of speculation on bodies and souls, not to mention angels and whether they’re pure spirit. Russians are a new twist on the commentary.

But I want to ask you: Why are you asking me this more or less (on the face of it) irrelevant, if not crazy, question?

Senator Lunar: My Life Coach Billy Ed Joseph Ronald Richards gave me the idea. He was giving an ‘inspiration’ on how to advance political agendas and one way is ‘dancing’ on the heads of opponents. So, if 5 or 6 Russians danced on Comey’s head, it could very well be the case that he was ‘brought around’ and colluded with the Russians.

Government Witless: Wow! That’s more bizarre than 12th century philosophy and theology combined!

Senator Lunar: I swear it’s true. I may have been there. That’s not ketchup on my loafers. Whoops!

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Oxymoron

Oxymoron (ox-y-mo’-ron): Placing two ordinarily opposing terms adjacent to one another. A compressed paradox.

He was having one of his high-lows–a complicated mental episode where he was energized by his depression.

He took medication. It made him sleep.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Paenismus

Paenismus (pai-nis’-mus): Expressing joy for blessings obtained or an evil avoided.

Let the blessings continue to flow, and may they carry on after the July 4 recess.

During the recess, may the Senators ponder the American Health Care Act of 2017, hold their wives and their children close and imagine what a pile 10,000 dead bodies will look like–10,000 deaths caused by their support of the American Health Care Act of 2017.

Let us pray that their visit home will soften their hearts so that they may vote against the American Health Care Act of 2017.

In so doing great evil will be avoided and a great blessing will be obtained.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Palilogia

Palilogia: Repetition of the same word, with none between, for vehemence. Synonym for epizeuxis.

Hurry! Hurry! Hurry!

Let’s get this surgery over with! My favorite soap opera starts in 5 minutes!

Just stitch him up! He’ll never know!

Hurry, damn it!

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Parabola 

Parabola (par-ab’-o-la): The explicit drawing of a parallel between two essentially dissimilar things, especially with a moral or didactic purpose. A parable.

Life is an onion: Onions have many layers and they make you cry.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Paragoge

Paragoge (par-a-go’-ge): The addition of a letter or syllable to the end of a word. A kind of metaplasm.

Republican Healthcareless. That’s the essence of the Republican plan. Given their plan, clearly the Republicans could care less about the health and welfare of the American people. It’s shamefula you know what.

  • Post your own paragoge on the “Comments” page!

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Paralipsis

Paralipsis (par-a-lip’-sis): Stating and drawing attention to something in the very act of pretending to pass it over (see also cataphasis). A kind of irony.

There’s no way I’m going to talk about the harm that will befall millions of people after your health bill is passed. I wouldn’t call it murder, but knowing people will die as a consequence of its passage, and then passing it, has got to ride on some kind some kind of homicidal intention. 

The American Health Care Act of 2017 is a homicidal tribute to indifference toward human life and human suffering.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

Paramythiapara

Paramythia (pa-ra-mee’-thi-a): An expression of consolation and encouragement.

So what if you can’t get any legislation passed and the Courts are saying “No, no, no.”

You can still keep on churning out Executive Orders.

The sky is the limit on them! And what we really like is the way you’re dismantling Obama’s legacy! Closing down Cuba travel was a wonderfully insulting move! Don’t stop now! How about morality–how about no hemlines above the knees? No unaccompanied women after 10.00 pm?  Break off diplomatic relations with the UK? Outlaw Fakin’ Bacon–a disgusting liberal substitute for real pig meat.

Give it a shot Donny! What’s to lose?

Executive Orders Rock!  They’re dress rehearsals for your coming dictatorship! Keep ’em coming & and don’t let the federal courts get you down.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

Paraprosdokian

Paraprosdokian: A figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase [or series = anticlimax] is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe the first part. . . . For this reason, it is extremely popular among comedians and satirists. An especially clever paraprosdokian not only changes the meaning of an early phrase, but also plays on the double meaning of a particular word.(1)

“When the going gets tough, it’s time to go home.” B. Mazlow

1. “Paraprosdokian.” WikipediaThe Free Encyclopedia. 4 Jan 2008, 03:30 UTC. Wikimedia Foundation, Inc. 9 Jan 2008 <http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paraprosdokian>.

Paregmenon

Paregmenon (pa-reg’-men-on): A general term for the repetition of a word or its cognates in a short sentence. Often, but not always, polyptoton.

Here, there, and everywhere–wherever we look the power of love is eroding. Headline after headline speaks of acts of hatred, bigotry, intolerance.

Where has Love gone? Where are the linked arms testifying to the beauty of solidarity marching on its feet toward peace?

Shall we overcome?  Will we overcome? Can we overcome?

If we are to remain an open and free society, we MUST unite in love’s spirit with selfless regard for each other, and together, repair, patch and restore our torn social fabric.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Pareuresis

Pareuresis (par-yur-ee’-sis): To put forward a convincing excuse. [Shifting the blame.]

I bought these pants at Salvation Army. Case closed.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu). Bracketed text added by Gorgias.

Paroemia

Paroemia (pa-ri’-mi-a): One of several terms describing short, pithy sayings. Others include adage, apothegm, gnome, maxim, proverb, and sententia.

“Leadership is the ability to translate reality into bullshit.” Anon.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Paroemion

Paroemion (par-mi’-on): Alliteration taken to an extreme where nearly every word in a sentence begins with the same consonant. Sometimes, simply a synonym for alliteration or for homoeoprophoron [a stylistic vice].

Time told tales tallying trends, tattling terrible truths and torturous travails.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Paromoiosis

Paromoiosis (par-o-moy-o’-sis): Parallelism of sound between the words of adjacent clauses whose lengths are equal or approximate to one another. The combination of isocolon and assonance.

I have my ups.

I have my downs.

I have my dance.

I have my gowns.

Time is not so short.

I need to always show.

If there’s a bright way;

If there’s a long while.

That will lift my spirit.

If my spirit will permit it.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Paromologia

Paromologia (par-o-mo-lo’-gi-a): Conceding an argument, either jestingly and contemptuously, or to prove a more important point. A synonym for concessio.

Ok, I was wrong about the car itself, but I was not wrong about what motivated you to purchase it! Vanity and a lack of caring about how much of OUR money you spend on whatever you think YOU need. When will you realize that we’re in this together and take into consideration my point of view, my needs, my interests?

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Paronomasia

Paronomasia (pa-ro-no-ma’-si-a): Using words that sound alike but that differ in meaning (punning).

We always said when the church bell would toll that our faithful pastor had collected another toll on the highway to heaven. He was a for-profit prophet, but we loved him anyway.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

Parrhesia

Parrhesia (par-rez’-i-a): Either to speak candidly or to ask forgiveness for so speaking. Sometimes considered a vice.

I’m sorry but your reasoning skills are on a par with the piece of shrimp you’re chewing on. You need to do something about your illogic: maybe some mental Maalox.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Pathopoeia

Pathopoeia ( path-o-poy’-a): A general term for speech that moves hearers emotionally, especially as the speaker attempts to elicit an emotional response by way of demonstrating his/her own feelings (exuscitatio). Melanchthon explains that this effect is achieved by making reference to any of a variety of pathetic circumstances: the time, one’s gender, age, location, etc

My heart aches alternately with more pain and less pain, but never no pain. This is what it means to have a broken heart. I should be past this now, enjoying my retirement, my children and grandchildren. Yet my heart aches. I am old, too old for the pain. I do not know what to do about the endless pain, but you can pray for me–pray for the end of my pain, still living, and possibly enjoying life with its ups and downs. In the meantime, I will quietly suffer; old and presently broken.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).