Category Archives: eutrepismus

Eutrepismus

Eutrepismus (eu-tre-pis’-mus): Numbering and ordering the parts under consideration. A figure of division, and of ordering.


There are myriad fantasies I could have about my neighbor’s wife. I call her the blond bombshell, and I know what I’m talking about! Let’s take a “look” at what I mean:

1. She drives slowly and seductively down her driveway every day when she comes home from work. She looks like a big piece of candy behind the wheel—a big sweet red cherry-flavored gummy neighbor.

2. When she walks to the mailbox her butt wiggles imperceptibly. I know she knows I’m hiding in the bushes and clearly puts on cute little show for me. When she comes back down to her house, she looks at her mail and will sometimes stop and glance at a catalogue, posing for me with her breasts heaving, pretending she’s out of breath from the steep climb up her driveway.

3. In summer she lays by her pool wearing tiny bathing suits. This speaks for itself.

It should be pretty clear from what I’ve written that my neighbor’s wife has the hots for me. I am a moral man. Accordingly, I won’t steal her away from her husband. Also, my wife would have a fit, although my wife is quite good friends with my neighbor’s husband. They have a mutual interest in astronomy and bring a blanket down to the field behind our house, sometimes star gazing half the night. Sometimes I hear mooing sounds from the field. My wife told me there was stray cow wandering around in the field.

So, life goes on. I began quietly clearing a spot in the brush outside my neighbor’s bedroom window. I am not a voyeur. I just like to look at my neighbor’s wife in a very special way. But it all fell apart last night. I had positioned myself in my little bush niche. Suddenly, my wife was standing naked in the window with my naked neighbor standing behind her embracing her. Then, my neighbor’s naked wife came into view and hugged them both.

At first I was angry, but then I realized my good fortune! It was like having my own porno webcam in my own back yard! When the lights went out, I went back home. My wife came home about a half-hour later. She told me all about what she was doing. I told her I didn’t care, Especially since I was having an affair with our neighbor’s wife.


Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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Eutrepismus

Eutrepismus (eu-tre-pis’-mus): Numbering and ordering the parts under consideration. A figure of division, and of ordering.


Although we only have two legs, there are myriad reasons why we should take up prancing. I will enumerate two.

1. When we prance we channel the energy of a steed. We become swifter, and focused, and more racy.

2. We develop the desire and ability to jump over fences and water hazards: excellent skills for managing urban life. We also develop an appetite for oats. A very healthy breakfast food.

So, you can prance. To prance is to prance. Prance in the mall! A lot of room there and people will usually step aside as you come prancing by. Then, of course, you can prance in the parking lot, weaving in between the cars and pickup trucks, like the show pony you’ve become. Next, you’ll want to prance down a sidewalk, feet rising and falling, body swaying like a quarter horse crossing the finish line. You will jump gigantic puddles as if they were somebody’s spilled beverage.

Last but not least, to complete your prancification you will never say “no” again. Showing your prancer pride, you will say “neigh” and whinny your satisfaction with the prancing life. I’m going prancing in the park tonight. Come along!


Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Buy a print edition of The Daily Trope! The print edition is entitled The Book of Tropes and is available on Amazon for $9.99. There is also a Kindle edition available for $5.99.

Eutrepismus

Eutrepismus (eu-tre-pis’-mus): Numbering and ordering the parts under consideration. A figure of division, and of ordering.


Things are going wild in the USA. I can think of four measures that may bring us back from around the bend:

1. Declare martial law in Florida and Texas.

2. Declare war on home-grown militias.

3. Sanction the Republican Party

4. Nullify the two most recent Supreme Court appointments.

These are simple one-step measures. They will stop the madness. To be sure they are heavy-handed, but with good reasons and appropriate legal procedures, they will achieve their goals within the constraints of the law. Given what’s at stake, we must consider their effectiveness above all else. Will they get the job done? Yes.


Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Buy a print edition of The Daily Trope! The print edition is entitled The Book of Tropes and is available on Amazon for $9.99. There is also a Kindle edition available for $5.99.

Eutrepismus 

Eutrepismus (eu-tre-pis’-mus): Numbering and ordering the parts under consideration. A figure of division, and of ordering.

There are three reasons why Trump should be fired (i.e., voted out of office):

1. He is a pathological liar.

2. He puts money before people.

3. He has no leadership skills.

There are at least 300 additional reasons to get rid of him.  They will appear in my forthcoming book: Standing Up to Our Necks in Shit: 303 Reasons to Dump Trump. 

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Buy a print edition of The Daily Trope! The print edition is entitled The Book of Tropes and is available on Amazon for $9.99. There is also a Kindle edition available for $5.99.

Eutrepismus

Eutrepismus (eu-tre-pis’-mus): Numbering and ordering the parts under consideration. A figure of division, and of ordering.

There are three reasons for getting rid of our current Chief Executive:

1. He’s incompetent.

2. He’s hopelessly incompetent.

3. He’s really incompetent.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Buy a print edition of The Daily Trope! The print edition is entitled The Book of Tropes and is available on Amazon for $9.99. There is also a Kindle edition available for $5.99.

Eutrepismus

Eutrepismus (eu-tre-pis’-mus): Numbering and ordering the parts under consideration. A figure of division, and of ordering.

There are two answers to the following question: 1. Yes. 2. No. “I don’t know” is not an option.

Were you at home last night from 9-11pm?

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Eutrepismus

Eutrepismus (eu-tre-pis’-mus): Numbering and ordering the parts under consideration. A figure of division, and of ordering.

There are supposedly two stages to an organism’s existence: 1. Living. 2. Dying. Nevertheless,  living is dying and dying is living.  There is a third term that addresses the apparent contradiction: Waiting.

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Eutrepismus

Eutrepismus (eu-tre-pis’-mus): Numbering and ordering the parts under consideration. A figure of division, and of ordering.

It’s as easy as one, two, three: 1. Buy it; 2. Use it; 3. Use it again! Batteries not included.*

*Caution: May cause slothfulness, hallucinations, gas, self-loathing, and loss of appetite. Not recommended for use when driving, standing, walking, jumping, swimming, meditating, or consuming alcohol. If you can’t stop using it, call the Better Business Bureau and ask for Pat.

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Eutrepismus

Eutrepismus (eu-tre-pis’-mus): Numbering and ordering the parts under consideration. A figure of division, and of ordering.

Talk about rhetoric often attempts to denigrate rhetoric. This is deeply ironic.  That is, talk about rhetoric that advances a judgment of rhetoric is itself a rhetorical act! For example, we’ve all probably heard these two put-downs (or variations): (1) Stop the rhetoric and get to the reality; and (2) That’s just a lot of rhetoric.

Let’s take a closer look at the first put-down . . .

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).