Eutrepismus (eu-tre-pis’-mus): Numbering and ordering the parts under consideration. A figure of division, and of ordering.

There are myriad fantasies I could have about my neighbor’s wife. I call her the blond bombshell, and I know what I’m talking about! Let’s take a “look” at what I mean:

1. She drives slowly and seductively down her driveway every day when she comes home from work. She looks like a big piece of candy behind the wheel—a big sweet red cherry-flavored gummy neighbor.

2. When she walks to the mailbox her butt wiggles imperceptibly. I know she knows I’m hiding in the bushes and clearly puts on cute little show for me. When she comes back down to her house, she looks at her mail and will sometimes stop and glance at a catalogue, posing for me with her breasts heaving, pretending she’s out of breath from the steep climb up her driveway.

3. In summer she lays by her pool wearing tiny bathing suits. This speaks for itself.

It should be pretty clear from what I’ve written that my neighbor’s wife has the hots for me. I am a moral man. Accordingly, I won’t steal her away from her husband. Also, my wife would have a fit, although my wife is quite good friends with my neighbor’s husband. They have a mutual interest in astronomy and bring a blanket down to the field behind our house, sometimes star gazing half the night. Sometimes I hear mooing sounds from the field. My wife told me there was stray cow wandering around in the field.

So, life goes on. I began quietly clearing a spot in the brush outside my neighbor’s bedroom window. I am not a voyeur. I just like to look at my neighbor’s wife in a very special way. But it all fell apart last night. I had positioned myself in my little bush niche. Suddenly, my wife was standing naked in the window with my naked neighbor standing behind her embracing her. Then, my neighbor’s naked wife came into view and hugged them both.

At first I was angry, but then I realized my good fortune! It was like having my own porno webcam in my own back yard! When the lights went out, I went back home. My wife came home about a half-hour later. She told me all about what she was doing. I told her I didn’t care, Especially since I was having an affair with our neighbor’s wife.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (

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