Category Archives: hypozeuxis

Hypozeuxis

Hypozeuxis  (hyp-o-zook’-sis): Opposite of zeugma. Every clause has its own verb.

I went out toward my backyard. I trudged through the snow. I arrived at my swimming pool. It was filled with ice, looking like a giant snow cone with no flavor. I looked at my iPhone and saw that it was 52 degrees. I am standing here waiting for spring, like I’m waiting for a bus filled with bluebirds, watermelons, and lemonade that’s going to pull up and spray my yard with warmth and sunshine. I can almost hear its gears grinding, coming up the hill.  But no, it isn’t going to happen.  It will snow 10-15 more times before spring arrives. It will go down to below zero one more time, and I’ll just have to keep wearing this stupid orange ski mask, these worn out old black boots, raggedy mittens, and cheap coat stuffed with duck feathers and covered with cigarette burns that I’ve had since I checked out of the VA facility nearly eleven years ago. But, like every year, I’ll still be around when the Bluebirds do arrive, the fruit trees begin to blossom, and the ramps start springing up all over the woods–that’s why they call it spring–things spring up and begin their journeys  toward fruition. I will till my garden boxes. I will plant seeds. I will wait.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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Hypozeuxis

Hypozeuxis  (hyp-o-zook’-sis): Opposite of zeugma. Every clause has its own verb.

I arrived at the grocery store. It was around 4.00pm. The vegetables were in the process of being misted. I wondered why eggplants needed misting. Well, I guess the person who tends the vegetables knows the answer. So I asked: “Why do you mist the eggplants?”

“The quick answer is they are related to tomatoes. I know that’s not a very good answer, but nobody would ever question the propriety of misting tomatoes.”

“I would” said the man standing behind me wearing a Burpee Seed hat and dirty overhauls.

“Uh oh” I thought to myself, there’s going to be some kind of misting showdown in the produce section!

I grabbed an eggplant and took off for the seafood section before something regretful happened.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Buy a print edition of The Daily Trope! The print edition is entitled The Book of Tropes and is available on Amazon for $9.99. A Kindle edition is available for $5.99.

Hypozeuxis

Hypozeuxis  (hyp-o-zook’-sis): Opposite of zeugma. Every clause has its own verb.

I opened my eyes, got out of bed, made coffee, turned on the TV and watched my second wife making a sock puppet on the knitting channel. She finished the sock puppet and put it on her hand. It looked like me thirty years ago. Swinging my sock puppet mullet back and forth she made the sock puppet me say, “The hell I will!” The screen went blank and up popped an ad for Pagan Mingle, “We make the sacrifice, you get the partner.” I felt a tickling sensation in my lips and . . .

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

Hypozeuxis

Hypozeuxis  (hyp-o-zook’-sis): Opposite of zeugma. Every clause has its own verb.

As Lincoln said, “If we could first know where we are, and whither we are tending, we could better judge what to do, and how to do it.”

Last night, President Obama gave a speech on Syria, the pundits yelled at each other, Chris Matthews went nuts, and I turned off my TV.

The House is divided. Whither are we tending?

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

Hypozeuxis

Hypozeuxis  (hyp-o-zook’-sis): Opposite of zeugma. Every clause has its own verb.

Last night the sweaty Indiana campaign crowd cheered, the winning candidate smiled and waved, and Lugar’s legacy was demolished, flattened, paved over.  And today, on that great flat expanse, the fleet of shiny new 2013 Conservative Avengers (made in USA) is lined up in a row in accord with the giant red, white, and blue sign at the entrance:

Park to the Far Right or Be Towed

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

Hypozeuxis

Hypozeuxis  (hyp-o-zook’-sis): Opposite of zeugma. Every clause has its own verb.

The driver sipped coffee, the passengers yacked, and the van rolled on through the night.

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)