Category Archives: erotema

Erotema

Erotema (e-ro-tem’-a): The rhetorical question. To affirm or deny a point strongly by asking it as a question. Generally, as Melanchthon has noted, the rhetorical question includes an emotional dimension, expressing wonder, indignation, sarcasm, etc.


“Why would we ever want to fly?” That was a question asked by my great, great, great grand father countless times. He used the argument every religious crank used at the time. “If God wanted us to . . . .” It went all the way back to the wheel: “If God wanted you to roll around on wheels, you would’ve been born with them.” Battles are fought over innovations: take the war of knitting needles, for example. The Knitting Needle was invented in 601 by Joseph Millgrain, humble peasant potato digger from York, England. He had a hobby of collecting clumps of wool from the roadside that had fallen off of sheep being driven to shearing. He sold the clumps to a spinner who made it into yarn, where in turn, he sold it to people who wove it —even to the King. into placemats and coasters for royalty.

As he collected wool from roadsides, Joseph stuck the balls of wool on two sticks to carry them—he had one pocket, but no carrying sack. On his way home, he stuck the wool sticks into his pocket. But first, he rubbed the wool between his hands, making a wool strand the he could wind around the sticks.

He was a peasant who was so poor he took one bath per year and ate weeds for every meal. He got “home” one evening after a hard day of digging potatoes. His wife harvested some fresh weeds for dinner—from the tiny weed patch they had growing behind their hovel—a small home made of mud and sticks with a roof made of stolen thatch that will result in hanging if Joseph is caught.

Joseph went to pull the wool out of his pocket. The sticks got stuck. He took one stick in each hand and moved them back and forth as he gently pulled on them. Finally, they came lose. He held them up and looked at them. The wool had been “knitted” together by the sticks’ agitation. He made points on the end of the sticks so they would more easily slide around the wool. He called them “knitting needles” for their pointed ends.

Instead of selling his wool, Joseph had it made into yarn. After months of study, he mastered knitting—with knitting needles. Joseph knitted vests for he and his wife. Eventually, he figured out how to affix sleeves. He sold knitting needles, yarn and sweaters at the York Farmers Market where he became rich (by peasant standards). One day at the market, a maniac who believed that knitting needles were the work of Satan, and who declared war on them, stabbed Joseph in the eye. He yelled “The war has begun.” Joseph lopped off his head with the saber he kept under his counter. York was filled with maniacs at the time and most merchants had a saber standing by. There were an average of three decapitations per week. Joseph’s saber episode led to Joseph’s notoriety. He was identified as the thatch thief and hanged in the market square as an example.


Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

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Erotema

Erotema (e-ro-tem’-a): The rhetorical question. To affirm or deny a point strongly by asking it as a question. Generally, as Melanchthon has noted, the rhetorical question includes an emotional dimension, expressing wonder, indignation, sarcasm, etc.


Have you ever seen a llama wearing pajamas? That’s from a children’s song I used to sing with my daughter. It all happened down by the bay. It was so much fun, I decided to invest everything I had in an amusement park themed after the song, where the names all of the exhibits and rides were from “down by the bay.” It was a real challenge. “Down by the Bay” played constantly in the background in the park, which , of course was named “Down By The Bay Theme Park.” We dug a fake bay and filled it with water. It was a lot of wrk keeping the mosquito population down and keeping it looking like a bay instead of a swamp—cattail control was difficult too. We’re still trying to figure out what to do about the muskrats and their reed-pile houses.

It cost $25.00 to get into the park and that covered everything—all rides, all exhibits. The “Whale With a Polka Dot Tail” is by far the most popular ride. It bounces up and down and spins around, squirting water out of a blowhole drilled in his back. It also plays sound clips of whales talking to each other. The “Fly Wearing a Tie” is pretty popular too. It consists of giant flies wearing ties mounted on the spokes of wheel that goes around and up and down. There’s a giant fly swatter mounted on the hub of the wheel. It starts swat the riders, but stops half-way down, giving them a thrill.

Then, one night when I when I was closing up the park, a llama wearing pajamas ran past the port-a potties. I had just smoked a joint and thought I was seeing things. It was some the best weed I’d every had. It was Peruvian Whacker and it really did the job. I saw the llama wearing pajamas again. It was down by the bay getting a drink of water. It’s pajamas we’re dirty and frayed. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. It was like the “Llama in Pajamas Ride” had come to life. I whistled at it and it turned around and started coming toward me. It got about two feet away from me and then spit in my face and walked away. I kept yelling “Come back!” But it ignored me and went back down by the bay, near where the watermelons grow.

I ran down by the bay, but the llama in pajamas had disappeared. I could see where he had stepped on a couple of watermelons as he took off. Then a giant fly wearing a tie almost knocked me down as it flew past me toward the rising moon. I went down by the bay, to the water’s edge, and tossed in my bag of Peruvian Whacker.


Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Buy a print edition of The Daily Trope! The print edition is entitled The Book of Tropes and is available o

Erotema

Erotema (e-ro-tem’-a): The rhetorical question. To affirm or deny a point strongly by asking it as a question. Generally, as Melanchthon has noted, the rhetorical question includes an emotional dimension, expressing wonder, indignation, sarcasm, etc.


I made this fly swatter sculpture entirely out of matchsticks and Elmer’s glue. Isn’t it lovely? It’s lines are sleek and there are only a few glue drippings hardened on the handle. Don’t they look like decorative jewels? Like intentional dribblets of decorative domed opalescence? Along with my other matchstick artifacts, the fly swatter is already accruing value. Two weeks ago, a collector offered me $5.00 for my matchstick shoe (size 8). Isn’t that something? The shoe was modeled after the one worn by the muffin man who lived on Drury Lane in London, England. Although nobody knows what the shoe looked like, I speculated that it would have dough stains and would’ve been well-worn from door to door muffin sales. The buyer changed his mind in the last minute because I had made only one shoe. I offered to throw in my matchstick BB and lower the price to 4.95. My counter offer didn’t fly. But, he bought the Matchstick BB for 1.25!

Now, I’m working on a full-size ride mower on commission from the local hardware store. I am being paid 99.00–beyond my wildest dreams. It is modeled after my own mower—an antique Peterbuilt. They only make trucks now, but they got their start in mowers. It will probably take at least 15,000 matchsticks to build the mower. It could take a year to complete it.

Did I mention? Matchsticks are a real fire hazard. Foolishly, I had made a matchstick ashtray as a joke. I’m a traditionalist—I don’t clip the tips off of my matchsticks. Can you tell where we’re headed here? Last night, we had a little accident. My cousin Jimmy was visiting. He smokes. He put his cigarette out in the matchstick ashtray. My house burned to the ground. Everything went up in smoke. My matchstick creations fueled the fire. Also, the 15 cases of wooden matches in the basement moved things along very quickly. My house burned down in twenty minutes, a record the Fire Chief told me. It was the saddest day of my life, especially since I lost my matchstick bust of Elvis. I made Elvis with loving care—if you saw the bust on the street, you’d think it was Elvis reincarnated and fall down crying. But, now he’s gone—ashes somewhere in the pile of charred wood that used to be my home.

Now, I’m thinking of building a matchstick house with the insurance money from the fire. I will definitely clip the tips of the matches I use to make the house and all my future creations.


Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Buy a print edition of The Daily Trope! The print edition is entitled The Book of Tropes and is available o

Erotema

Erotema (e-ro-tem’-a): The rhetorical question. To affirm or deny a point strongly by asking it as a question. Generally, as Melanchthon has noted, the rhetorical question includes an emotional dimension, expressing wonder, indignation, sarcasm, etc.


I can’t believe we haven’t decided where to go for vacation yet. What is wrong with Piney Butte? Why is Piney Butte so far out of the question? People forget. We haven’t there for ten years. What’s a little embarrassment compared to the fun we can have there—hiking, swimming and boating in the lake, and building a bonfire the appropriate distance from our cabin. I never could’ve predicted what would happen that night. Do you think history repeats itself? Do you think we’re doomed to burn our cabin to the ground again? Ha! No way! Why don’t you take a deep breath and think about it. What are the odds? Probably a million to one.

Raise your hand if you want to go to Piney Butte. Ok, Good. Let’s start packing and I’ll book us a cabin right by the lake. I’ve got to go the gas station first and fill my gas can. We’ll need something to get the bonfire started. I can’t wait.


Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Buy a print edition of The Daily Trope! The print edition is entitled The Book of Tropes and is available on Amazon for $9.99. There is also a Kindle edition available for $5.99.

Erotema

Erotema (e-ro-tem’-a): The rhetorical question. To affirm or deny a point strongly by asking it as a question. Generally, as Melanchthon has noted, the rhetorical question includes an emotional dimension, expressing wonder, indignation, sarcasm, etc.


Whoa, whoa, whoa! Where the hell are we going with this? I’ve been selling “Billy’s Fudgy Cakes” ever since I was 22, and now I’m 60, and I’m still selling them by the ton, literally. We all mourn Billy’s passing, Junior, and are ready to roll up our sleeves and sell Fudgy Cakes until the word smells like their secret frosting. Doesn’t it seem imprudent to make them smaller, make them vanilla, and rename them “Whitey Cakes”? Where are we headed with this? Your father’s ashes are rattling in their urn. Will your eulogy tell the story of his successful leadership, followed now, by certain disaster of your doing? How are you going to feel when we’re all desperately waiting for our meager unemployment checks?

Will you come down from cloud-cuckoo land? Will you look in the mirror and see that your life will be ruined by what you’re about to do? You say you want to take control and make your mark. The only “mark” you will make is a skid mark.

It’s not too late to change your mind. Don’t you want to continue your father’s legacy and keep Billy’s Fudgy Cakes fudgy?


Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Buy a print edition of The Daily Trope! The print edition is entitled The Book of Tropes and is available on Amazon for $9.99. There is also a Kindle edition available for $5.99.

Erotema

Erotema (e-ro-tem’-a): The rhetorical question. To affirm or deny a point strongly by asking it as a question. Generally, as Melanchthon has noted, the rhetorical question includes an emotional dimension, expressing wonder, indignation, sarcasm, etc.

Oh, is that your idea? It reminds me more of a clove of garlic crushed by the wheel of a Vespa somewhere on the outskirts of Sienna. It’s flat and it smells. How much time did you give to it’s inception? Are you trying to establish your stupidity in front of the whole team? Why don’t you just sit down and shut up Pence? In fact, why don’t you get the hell out of here and send more ventilators to Thailand while New York dies?

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Buy a print edition of The Daily Trope! The print edition is entitled The Book of Tropes and is available on Amazon for $9.99. There is also a Kindle edition available for $5.99.

Erotema

Erotema (e-ro-tem’-a): The rhetorical question. To affirm or deny a point strongly by asking it as a question. Generally, as Melanchthon has noted, the rhetorical question includes an emotional dimension, expressing wonder, indignation, sarcasm, etc.

What? Are you kidding me? This will be the third night in a row we’ve had some kind of beans for dinner. Do you want me to blow a hole in my bedspread? Come on, why don’t we have something less volatile? How about calve’s liver and cottage cheese?

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Buy a print edition of The Daily Trope! The print edition is entitled The Book of Tropes and is available on Amazon for $9.99. There is also a Kindle edition available for $5.99.

Erotema

Erotema (e-ro-tem’-a): The rhetorical question. To affirm or deny a point strongly by asking it as a question. Generally, as Melanchthon has noted, the rhetorical question includes an emotional dimension, expressing wonder, indignation, sarcasm, etc.

Who is Putin trying to fool? When is he going to start telling the truth? When are the Russian people going to demand the truth? Today? Tonight? Now!

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

Erotema

Erotema (e-ro-tem’-a): The rhetorical question. To affirm or deny a point strongly by asking it as a question. Generally, as Melanchthon has noted, the rhetorical question includes an emotional dimension, expressing wonder, indignation, sarcasm, etc.

Improve the safety standards for offshore drilling? Take the caps off of fines and damages in order to compensate for future catastrophes? Do these measures really get to the heart of the problem? Wouldn’t it be better to ban offshore drilling altogether as an incentive to develop cleaner energy sources? Why not turn the offshore oil rigs into wind farms?

  • Post your own erotema on the “Comments” page!

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

Erotema

Erotema (e-ro-tem’-a): The rhetorical question. To affirm or deny a point strongly by asking it as a question. Generally, as Melanchthon has noted, the rhetorical question includes an emotional dimension, expressing wonder, indignation, sarcasm, etc.

Immunity from prosecution? Again? Why can’t we operate within the law in the first place? Have we come to a point in American history where immunity is crime’s reward?

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)