Category Archives: metabasis

Metabasis

Metabasis (me-ta’-ba-sis): A transitional statement in which one explains what has been and what will be said.


It you will, if you count to ten, you will see a metaphorical rainbow. Yes, that’s right. I told you about the phenomenon in great detail, setting out the prior conditions, their necessity, and the eerie music that must be playing to prepare your brain like a 10 pound turkey to be basted with truth and stuffed with wisdom. Next, I will explain how the metaphorical rainbow operates to endow you with an angelic halo, another metaphor hovering above your head, like a swarm of luminescent bees or flies—it depends on your body odor. If you smell like a flower, you get bees. If you smell like garbage or dog-do, you get flies.

I know this next phase of your spiritual journey is complicated and vexing. Be patient, what’s next will be truly mind bending. And once you’ve achieved “Bent Mind Hood” every word will become a metaphor, and you will lose your grip. Clutching and squeezing will never again be goals. Ok. Let us begin by singing Bon Jovi’s “Wanted Dead or Alive.” Then, we’ll have some delicious Kool Aid.


Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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Metabasis

Metabasis (me-ta’-ba-sis): A transitional statement in which one explains what has been and what will be said.


Now that I’ve told you and everybody else on board three times to wear a mask on this aircraft, if you continue to fail to comply, next, I will tell you to exit the aircraft. That means deplane.

Stop yelling and creating a disturbance Ms. Greene. Out of 100 passengers, you’re the only one not not willing to comply with my request.

I will count to three. If you’re not on your way to the aircraft’s exit after that, if necessary, you will be forcibly ejected. Or, if you put on a mask, fine.

1-2-3.

Marshall, remove this woman from the aircraft. Be careful, she may be in need of psychiatric intervention. I’ll call ahead so medical personnel can meet you and you can take her take her to the airport medical facility for a brief examination.

Please quiet down Ms. Greene. It’s not the end of the world.


Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Buy a print edition of The Daily Trope! The print edition is entitled The Book of Tropes and is available on Amazon for $9.99. A Kindle edition is available for $5.99.

Metabasis

Metabasis (me-ta’-ba-sis): A transitional statement in which one explains what has been and what will be said.

Now that we’ve covered the heap of evildoing perpetrated by the blond fat man, we have to determine whether, in the aggregate, it adds up to one big capital offense.

(Bailiff, please tell the blond fat man to shut up and stop crying like a baby with diaper rash and a sunburned ass.)

Now, if it is determined that the blond fat man is guilty, he will be sentenced to death and we will have the pleasurable honor of determining how he will go.

(Bailiff, please tell the blond fat man to shut up and stop crying like a toddler who pooped his pants and can’t find his mommy.)

By and large there seems to be a consensus of opinion regarding the blond fat man’s demise: the parents of the deceased Mexican children who died in cages want to beat him to death, skin him, and make him into a piñata filled with blank US Government checks endorsed by the Secretary of the Treasury.

(Baliff, the blond fat man has peed himself. Take him back to his cage. Feel free to hit him in the stomach a couple of times to calm him down.)

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Buy a print edition of The Daily Trope! The print edition is entitled The Book of Tropes and is available on Amazon for $9.99. A Kindle edition is available for $5.99.

Metabasis

Metabasis (me-ta’-ba-sis): A transitional statement in which one explains what has been and what will be said.

Now that we’ve had a chance to explain what collusion is, let’s take a look at  recent examples from news headlines reporting the Trump family’s meetings with Russians and see if they fit the definition of “collusion.”

There are so many examples! Let’s focus on one: Donald Trump was observed whispering in Vladimir Putin’s ear at the Molotow nightclub in Hamburg, Germany. Now, as far as collusion goes, the means are present: a ‘secret’ message for Putin’s ear only. The problem is, we don’t know the content of the the message. Even though they immediately got up and danced, there’s no telling the sum total of Trump’s message to Putin.  Accordingly, we must rule out the “Molotow Communique” as a instance of collusion, aside from the resultant dancing, which is, I guess, a form of ‘soft’ collusion.

Ok, let’s take a look at the second example . . .

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Buy a print edition of The Daily Trope! The print edition is entitled The Book of Tropes and is available on Amazon for $9.99.

Metabasis

Metabasis (me-ta’-ba-sis): A transitional statement in which one explains what has been and what will be said.

Now that we have had a chance to thoroughly understand what the law and order candidate means by “law and order,” let’s take a look at what the other candidate seemingly means by “law and order” in the context of her recent brush withe FBI.

To start with . . .

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Metabasis

Metabasis (me-ta’-ba-sis): A transitional statement in which one explains what has been and what will be said.

Now that we’ve explained the three key advantages of being a crack smoking mayor, we’re going to show you how they pertain to Mayor Rob Ford, a strong proponent of getting high in office, overeating,  and providing generous subsidies to struggling drug lords.

First, . . .

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Metabasis

Metabasis (me-ta’-ba-sis): A transitional statement in which one explains what has been and what will be said.

Now that I’ve offered a broad justification for going to Hell, I’d like to turn our attention specifically to Syria and explain why cutting through Syria is possibly the best way to get to Hell.

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Metabasis

Metabasis (me-ta’-ba-sis): A transitional statement in which one explains what has been and what will be said.

Now that I’ve explained three of the major causes of air pollution, let’s look at three of the major effects of air pollution.

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).