Category Archives: dianoea

Dianoea

Dianoea (di-a-noe’-a): The use of animated questions and answers in developing an argument (sometimes simply the equivalent of anthypophora).


Sheriff: Can you give me a hug? Sure you can! Can you tickle my ear? Sure you can! Can you give me a smile? Sure you can! Did you shoot Mr. Buckworth in the head with that shotgun over there? Sure you did! Boom! Where’s his head? Over there by the bed! Are you in big trouble? Yes you are! Is murder a big deal? It sure is Miss Pondlake! Come back here! Hey!

Miss Pondlake ran down the stairs and out the front door. The man she had murdered was the plumber. He was rude and too familiar with her. She had phoned him and when he got to her front door, he had pushed it open and barged in waving wrenches and carrying a yellow no, 2 pencil stuck in his protruding butt crack, and he said “ain’t” which frightened her—she had only heard “ain’t” in detective shows on TV. Especially, from the bald man who ate lollipops.

The plumber said he was going to “clear her pipes upstairs in the bathroom.” That alarmed her. She did not want him to “clear her pipes,” it sounded lewd. He said, “Come on. Let’s go upstairs so I can take care of those pipes.” He insisted, so she could give hm a recommendation for his “work.”

She kept a loaded shotgun by her bed since her former husband had broken into her house and insisted on reading her “The Little Prince” to her at gunpoint. It was the worst experience of her life, defamed “The Little Prince,” put her into 2 years of therapy, and motivated her to keep a gun by her bed.

Now she was on the run from a huge misunderstanding. She was living in Mexico City playing accordion in a Mariachi band named “Camino Del Amor.” She learned how to play the accordion in high school, where she played mostly German and Italian music growing up in New Jersey. “Camino” worked in one bar in Mexico City. They played every night and she loved it. However, she missed her cat Toolabelle. Her sister was shipping it to her—quite a convoluted process. Convoluted enough so it put the police on her trail.

Then, one night, what looked like a cop from back home showed up at the bar. He told her the case a had been dropped—it was a tragic misunderstanding, triggered by lingering trauma and threatening-sounding ambiguous language. she thanked him for bringing the news, but she was going to stay in Mexico City. She was going to marry “Camino’s” harmonica man Jesus.

But, then the “policeman” pulled of his jacket revealing a yellow wooden pencil stuck in his butt crack. He said: “Everything I told you is true, but I still can’t accept my father’s murder, and you murdered him.”

She said, “Come over here for a big hug.” The Plumber’s son complied and headed toward her with arms outstretched. He called her “Mommy” as they hugged. She was repulsed, but did not want any trouble.

The plumber’s son left in a couple of days, and Toolabelle, her beloved cat, showed up at the post office. It was wonderful having her to pet and play with again. She stopped thinking about her past and made her way into the future.


Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

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Dianoea

Dianoea (di-a-noe’-a): The use of animated questions and answers in developing an argument (sometimes simply the equivalent of anthypophora).


He: Am I your man? Yes! Am I your best bestie? Yes! Am I your rainbow? Yes! Am I your first-class ticket to paradise? Yes! am I your package under the Christmas tree? Yes!

Baby, it all adds up, and you want me, and need me, and love me more and more every minute of every . . .

She: Will you PLEASE shut the hell up? My answer to your rant is none of the above, none of the below, or none of anywhere else. You are a psychopath and you’re not going to get away with this! Everybody knows, you’re so crazy you give crazy a bad name! Put down the fly swatter and let me go! I’ll visit you every month at “Flying Id.” They like people like you there and they can help you with your delusions of love, and all the rest. Medication will help you see you’re not a Harley chopper with three-foot ape hangers and a rainbow mist gas tank. I’m sure you have an inkling of how disturbing it is when you “rev it up” in your driveway at 2:00 a.m. So, put the fly swatter on the coffee table and we can get you some help.

He: Help? You’re the one who needs help! Traitor! If you don’t apologize, I’m going to swat you to within an inch of your life—well maybe a half-inch, or even a foot. I don’t know. But a few things I do know: I am your man, your bestie, your rainbow, and more. Vroom! Vroom! Vroom! Let’s go for a ride around your living room. I can do a wheelie.

He got down on his hands and knees and let go of the fly swatter. She climbed onto his back and dialed 911. They circled around the living room three times before help arrived.

The door flew open with a crash and police streamed through, guns drawn, along with two orderlies from “Racking Mind Hideaway.” He picked up the fly swatter and started waving it around and the police shot him 27 times, stopping to reload before using all their ammunition.

In court, during the wrongful death suit, the police argued that the fly swatter looked like a machine gun in the dimly-lit apartment. She backed the police up, testifying that the fly swatter looked like a machine gun. (Although on cross examination, she admitted she didn’t know what a machine gun is). The police were exonerated. Injustice was served.

Now, whenever she sees a fly swatter, she cries, gets hives, vomits, goes cross-eyed, bloats up, farts, and feels numbness in her feet. She voluntarily committed herself to “Flying Id Psychiatric Hospital” to rid herself of her unpleasant reaction to fly swatters. She’s been diagnosed with PIS (Post Injustice Syndrome). She is undergoing swatter therapy administered by Frank Bugck, a doctor newly graduated from “Granada Medical School” in Port-au-Prince, Haiti. In their sessions, using what he calls “crazy on crazy” therapy, Mr. Bugck has her dress in blue velvet pajamas and approach a fly swatter hanging on the wall while inhaling nitrous oxide. Dr. Bugck is optimistic about her prospects for recovery. “We are seeing signs of recovery: the numbness has moved from her feet to her hands, and the duration of her farts has diminished.”


Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

A print edition of The Daily Trope is available from Amazon for $9.95. A Kindle edition is available for $5.99.

Dianoea

Dianoea (di-a-noe’-a): The use of animated questions and answers in developing an argument (sometimes simply the equivalent of anthypophora).


Where are we going? Where have we been? Someplace? No place? A place with a name? A country? A state? A city? A desert? A beach? A river? A canyon? A restaurant? A theatre? A library? A cemetery?

There are millions, of places and things with names. I would go so far as to say that everything is named—half of knowing something is knowing it’s name, at least we may think so. But without a name it is almost impossible to meaningfully share—“this thing” and “that thing” accompanied by pointing at “it” is vague, and for abstract concepts it is impossible to point, so we make up definitions. They are good, but not as good as the shorthand saying of a name provides. I mean “good” here in terms of economy and clarity. And maybe there’s a difference between the definition and the meaning of a word. Also, we may derive meaning from our unique experiences, contributing to the chaos of human conjoinment which requires shared understandings. This is where understanding comes into play, where agreement is not sought—but “seeing a another person’s point of view the way they see it, without agreeing with it.” (or something like that)

Maybe the keyword that drives humanity is love. I think, if there is a hierarchy of goods, that love is at the top. There’s Justice, honesty, and a whole constellation of other goods, that love includes, and in some ways props up love as much as it includes it. But, at times they may enter into conflict with their others. For example, I would lie about my wife’s whereabouts to save her from a maniac bent on murdering her. So, so much depends on circumstances and the hierarchy of goods as it is particularly deployed—lying trumps telling the truth where the truth would facilitate murder. But we all know our situation is encircled by innumerable points of decision where the road to choosing is blocked by “what if” and all its variations as obstacles to projecting a livable future—a future that can only be imagined until the decision is made.

But no matter what, in due time, everything is contestable. That does not mean we should contest everything, but we should bear in mind, as Stanley Fish said “One person’s hope is another person’s fear.” There’s no getting around conflict. In genuine relationships it’s inevitable, and it may rightfully lead to ending a relationship, or to deepening your affection, or a billion other things.

No matter what though, love should shimmer on your life’s horizon like the Northern Lights. When you have the chance, you should move toward that beautiful horizon with every step you take.


Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

A print edition of The Daily Trope is available from Amazon for $9.95. A Kindle edition is available for $5.99.

Dianoea

Dianoea (di-a-noe’-a): The use of animated questions and answers in developing an argument (sometimes simply the equivalent of anthypophora).


What is love? Unconditional affection. He says he loved his wife. Is cutting her throat with a steak knife love? No, it’s not. is it justifiable? No. She didn’t attack him. She didn’t try to poison him. She never cheated on him. She was asleep in her bed after a long day of cleaning, taking care of the five kids, making lunch, cooking dinner, and mowing the lawn, and dutifully taking the sleeping pills he gave her. Was she able to defend herself as her husband put the knife to her throat? No. She was sound asleep—possibly a drug-induced sleep. Did she have a chance? No. Did he do it? Yes. His fingerprints are on the knife and one of his children saw him do it. Why did he do it? Sadly, in his twisted mind it was cheaper and easier to murder her than to get a divorce. He had told his neighbor that he freaked out when his attorney told him what it would cost, and that he would lose nearly everything. Does this sound like a motive for choosing an alternative to divorce? Yes it does,


And what triggered the murder, what started the ball rolling? Adultery. He had fallen into the slime pit of an extramarital affair with a considerably younger woman—only two years older than his eldest daughter. He felt trapped between the old and the new. The stale and the fresh. The plodding consistent love of his wife, and the fireworks display of his young mistresses body, her endless adulation, and her cheerful, good-natured demeanor. Is the possible contrast between wife and mistress a good reason for him to contemplate murdering his wife? No. It is about the pathological desire to have his way and seeing his wife’s murder as more cost effective than divorce. It is about narcissism and the blindfold of total self-interest making him unable to gauge the consequences of his actions. He killed her in their bed where their children were conceived. And one of their children witnessed what he did. She will be traumatized for the rest of her life. If it wasn’t for the child, he would’ve escaped. He punched his little daughter in the face as he went out the bedroom door, and he told her to keep her mouth shut, or she was next.

There is no love here. There’s only deception, indecency, brutality, murder and the absolute destruction of a little girl’s life.

Where should this man go next? I vote for some kind of medieval torture chamber, but here in New York, we’ll have to settle for a conviction and a prison sentence. Life in prison without parole? Yes. This man is a murdering fiend with no redeeming qualities.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

A print edition of The Daily Trope is available from Amazon for $9.95. A Kindle edition is available for $5.99.

Dianoea

Dianoea (di-a-noe’-a): The use of animated questions and answers in developing an argument (sometimes simply the equivalent of anthypophora).


It’s never too late. What the hell does that mean? Grandma’s dead and I never told her I loved her.

So what?

I didn’t have to say it.

It’s what I did. I bought her a new bedpan when she was in the nursing home. I paid back most of the money I borrowed from her. I sold her dog and made some extra money for her. I bought her a nice used walker. Jeez, I paid for her cremation even! So what if she was already dead when she was turned to ashes—she watched from heaven. Right?

Did I do enough? Did I care more than anybody? Did I give more than anybody? Is my conscience clear? Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.

I’m off the hook—free and clear—out of the red—rising like a Phoenix. It’s time to go to the reading of Grandma’s will. I’m glad we were able to make some minor deathbed revisions a couple of hours before she died.

Am I a soulless crook? No! I am deserving—deserving of everything!

Hans Christian Anderson wrote: “Death walks faster than the wind and never returns what he has taken.” Grandma had a lot of wind in her final hours, but Death was faster. Now, let’s find out what she left me (I already know).


Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

A print edition of The Daily Trope is available from Amazon for $9.95. A Kindle edition is available for $5.99.

Dianoea

Dianoea (di-a-noe’-a): The use of animated questions and answers in developing an argument (sometimes simply the equivalent of anthypophora).

What’s the matter with me? Nothing’s the matter with me. What’s the matter with you? Nothing’s the matter with you.

This is the question: What’s the matter with us? We need to take mutual responsibility for our relationship.

Is it me? No!

Is it you? No!

It’s us! We need to figure out together what we need to do next.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

A print edition of The Daily Trope is available from Amazon for $9.95. A Kindle edition is available for $5.99.

Dianoea

Dianoea (di-a-noe’-a): The use of animated questions and answers in developing an argument (sometimes simply the equivalent of anthypophora).

Where was I last night? Where do you think I was? In a hot tub? At a banquet? Relaxing in the Presidential suite at Trump Towers?

WRONG! WRONG! WRONG!

SURPRISE! Despite having a green card and living in the US  for the past 5 years, what do you think happened? You’re right: I was detained at JFK & slept on the floor last night. Now, I’m quite hungry! I’m trying to get home to my wife and two baby daughters. They live in New Jersey.

Thank you so much for the displays of solidarity & for the legal assistance.

Wish me luck!

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

Dianoea

Dianoea (di-a-noe’-a): The use of animated questions and answers in developing an argument (sometimes simply the equivalent of anthypophora).

Where was I last night? Where do you think I was? In the garage? In the recycling bin? In your closet listening to you and my best friend Ed making the bed squeak? What do you take me for? A fool? An idiot? A patsy? An overgrown carrot?  A piece of carry-on luggage? A horse’s ass?

I’m a what?  A lost Fedex driver with guitar strings in his pants and an unaddressed package wrapped in panty hose bouncing around under his seat? Yes! Yes! Yes! That’s me!

Do you want to know what’s in that package? Do you care whether it’s Ed’s head, or a bundt cake, or a tambourine? You have one guess and you better be right! What? Emptiness? The emptiness of our lives together? Bah!

WRONG!

SURPRISE! It’s a tambourine, and yes! Yes indeed! That is Ed’s face stretched across the frame! Want a piece of bundt cake? Come on!  Let’s sing!  “Hey Mr. Tambourine Man play a song for me. . . . “

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

Dianoea

Dianoea (di-a-noe’-a): The use of animated questions and answers in developing an argument (sometimes simply the equivalent of anthypophora).

Have no fear hubby’s here! And well . . . What did I do on Friday? I went to the mall for four hours! What did I do on Saturday? I made reservations for dinner at your favorite restaurant! What about Sunday? I contacted all your friends to invite them over tonight. And how about right now? I made you breakfast in bed (with this juicy little Rolex on the side)! You are my number one! There’s no way I want it any other way. You are the love of my life! You are the best! Happy birthday dear wife! Today’s your day! Your wish is my command.

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)