Category Archives: conduplicatio

Conduplicatio (con-du-pli-ca’-ti-o): The repetition of a word or words. A general term for repetition sometimes carrying the more specific meaning of repetition of words in adjacent phrases or clauses. Sometimes used to name either ploce or epizeuxis.

“My little runaway, run, run, run, run, runaway.“ I feel like Del Shannon’s son—Son of Del, looking for my own little runaway. Unlike Del, I know what went wrong with our love, “a love that was so strong.”

I commented on your chronic body odor and how you make my eyes water when I hold you tight. All I asked is that you take a shower—I don’t even care if you wore the same crusty clothes—just take a friggin’ shower. But you couldn’t or wouldn’t do that for me. Instead, you ran away.

Since you’ve run away, I’ve stopped eating, trolling Instagram, and going to church. I am a broken man—I walk bent over and limp badly. I thought I could follow your smell and find you, but your trail petered out when a hurricane almost blew our town away.

I have searched and searched for a solution to “our” problem. Then, I remembered the time when I was at my friend Bill’s and he showed me his kid’s hamster. “Hammy” had a plastic spherical bubble. Bill put Hammy in the bubble and Hammy walked it around the living room. He seemed to be having a really good time rolling around. Suddenly, I thought: I can build a bubble for you! It would contain your unpleasant smell, and at the same time allow you to leave your home without making people run away, pass out, or get sick.

I searched and searched and found a place that will build the bubble for $5,000. It’s called “Plastic Treasures” and they custom-build all kinds of things out of plastic. Their most recent project was a plastic staircase on wheels—the client called it “my staircase to heaven.” She loves ice cream and has her freezer mounted 3 feet off the floor. She climbs her staircase to heaven every night for a carton “Chocolate Melody” which she eats in bed and shares with her Poodle Richter. Pretty creative! So far, Mr. Loucite’s masterpiece is a plastic lawn sprinkler that flashes red, white, and blue. It is designed for night sprinkling displays of patriotism. It is shaped like an AR-15, with water coming out of the barrel. He has received an award from the NRA for “integrating iconic combat weaponry into lawn maintenance implements.”

If we pool our resources, we can build the bubble, get married, and refit my house’s doors so you can roll your smelly self in and out as you please. We can have the bubble fitted with a charcoal exhaust filter to manage your smell, and you’ll never have to take another shower! I can wear SCUBA gear for our intimate moments and we’ll be able to have children too. Just think! Oh, as far as eating and going to the bathroom are concerned we can work that out in consultation with Mr. Loucite at “Plastic Treasures.” He’s anxious to work on our project. He’s even thought of a clever name for the sphere, but he won’t tell me what it is because he doesn’t want any “leaks” to occur before the bubble is finished and he is nominated for the Plastic Fabricators’ annual “Ono Award”

I can’t wait to get things “rolling.” Ha ha! So, my little runaway, where the hell are you? I know you must be at least a mile away because I can’t smell you. I know you like to hang out at the sewage treatment plant when things get bad, or on a rock at the clam flats at low tide, where you almost blend in.

I hope you have your phone turned on and you get this message. It would really stink if you’re not coming back. Hmm. Well it wouldn’t actually stink, but I hope you know what I mean my little Corpse Flower.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

The Daily Trope is available on Amazon in paperback under the title of The Book of Tropes for $9.95. It is also available in Kindle format for $5.99.

Conduplicatio (con-du-pli-ca’-ti-o): The repetition of a word or words. A general term for repetition sometimes carrying the more specific meaning of repetition of words in adjacent phrases or clauses. Sometimes used to name either ploce or epizeuxis.

Ho! Ho! Ho!

Was that Santa laughing, or was it my cousin Carl doing his counting prostitutes joke? How would you know? Actually it was Carl imitating Santa as a lead-in to his counting prostitutes joke. I wish I could disown him somehow. Whenever he comes around, it’s trouble, trouble, trouble. Last week he came over with a “rare fish” to sell. He claimed it came from a disappearing lake in Africa, and after the lake dried up, this fish he was selling would become rare and extremely valuable. Just as I was about to tell Carl that the fish looked like a plain old goldfish, there was a banging on the door and what sounded like Carl’s daughter Mary yelling “Daddy, daddy, daddy!”

In a flash, I figured Carl had taken Mary’s pet goldfish Bubbles and was trying to pawn it off as a rare endangered species so he could get more money for it, and maybe, pay one of his many debts—debts ranging from gambling to monthly payments on his mob-provided Polo wardrobe. Carl thought I was a super chump, and, in a way, I was.

Crying, Mary hugged the fish bowl. I was afraid her tears would make the water too salty for Bubbles. I asked Carl, “How much is the fish?” He said, “$150.00.” I paid the 150 and told Mary she could take Bubbles back home. She lived across the street, so I was sure she could handle it. She left, smiling and hugging the sloshing fishbowl.

After Mary left, Carl thanked me and I punched him in the stomach. As he lay there on the kitchen floor squirming in pain, I yelled, “If I wasn’t such a super chump, I’d stomp you. Give the 150 to Mary as soon as you get home, or somebody will find your foot sticking out of a landfill.”

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

The Daily Trope is available on Amazon in paperback under the title of The Book of Tropes for $9.95. It is also available in Kindle format for $5.99.