Category Archives: bomphiologia

Bomphiologia

Bomphiologia (bom-phi-o-lo’-gi-a): Exaggeration done in a self-aggrandizing manner, as a braggart.

Good evening.

A brief update on how I am making America great again!

I’ve made a lot of work for attorneys at the FBI–that’s great for the economy! I’ve scared the crap out of the American people–all worried about being blown up by some crazy North Korean dictator! That’s good for the pharmaceutical industry–all those tranquilizers being sold! It’s good for the psychology business too! Everybody’s trying to figure out how to manage their fear and they are using an unprecedented number of professional counselors! Sales of gin and vodka are up 300% as people try to numb their senses and calm their nerves the old fashioned way!

Those are just a few of my fantastic and definitely positive accomplishments–the actual list of accomplishments stretches from here to Russia (via the internet).  That’s pretty far and it is awesomely beautiful like my wife, my money, and my hair.

A big thumbs up to me! Almost singlehandedly, I’m making America great again!

In summary, stay tuned tomorrow for my unbelievably amazing plan for citizens 70 & over! Attention! No more waiting around for health care all you disgruntled seniors!

In conclusion, thank-you and God bless everything, with the exception of illegal immigrants, Democrats, and John McCain.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

Bomphiologia

Bomphiologia (bom-phi-o-lo’-gi-a): Exaggeration done in a self-aggrandizing manner, as a braggart.

Listen to this: I had the most Electoral College votes ever recorded in the history of democracy. The people love me. They do! Believe me! That’s no exaggeration. It’s wonderful.  It’s great. It’s huge. Once in a lifetime! A mandate!

Oh–and by the way. One month in office: I’ve boosted the economy & cut the national debt. I’m not kidding! It’s true–national debt is down by $12 billion. That’s a lot of dollars! $12 billion! It’s true.  It’s fabulous. Believe me! You’ve got to love it!

It’s all good! There is no stopping me & there’s no stopping you!

Thank you for your support!

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

Bomphiologia

Bomphiologia (bom-phi-o-lo’-gi-a): Exaggeration done in a self-aggrandizing manner, as a braggart.

I am the sparks in life’s fire.

I am the headless race car driver.

I butcher the beef. I am the leaf. Roll me. Light me.

I am the cure for all your pain. I am thunder naming your name:

“Tantric Smoke. Cosmic Joke. Belly Tomb. Worn Eraser. Beetle Chaser.”

In all my love,

I am your shadow. I am your fear. I am the magic that brought you here.

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

 

Bomphiologia

Bomphiologia (bom-phi-o-lo’-gi-a): Exaggeration done in a self-aggrandizing manner, as a braggart.

I am the stars in your sky, the hope in your heart, and the love of your life.   What more could you ask for, baby?

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

Bomphiologia

Bomphiologia (bom-phi-o-lo’-gi-a): Exaggeration done in a self-aggrandizing manner, as a braggart.

As a businessman I’ve done so many really wonderful things. I fired 1,000s of people. I made enough money to buy Rhode Island, and I didn’t keep all the money for myself.

Clearly my track record as a businessman qualifies me to be President of the United State of America, Inc.

Just call me “The Profit Mitt: Your Blue Chip Investment in America’s Future.”

(Oh, and by the way, don’t forget my charming smile, the attractive gray stripes on my temples, my incredibly good posture, the fact that I go to bed early every night, and last, but not least, my endearing sense of humor.)

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

Bomphiologia

Bomphiologia (bom-phi-o-lo’-gi-a): Exaggeration done in a self-aggrandizing manner, as a braggart.

I made so much money selling off bad mortgages that they call me the Golden Dumpster. I am the King of Faulty Futures–the Prime Minister of Mists and Mirrors–the Emperor of Empty Promises! I’m the richest guy on the planet and the biggest sucker-maker in the universe! You can bank on it.

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

Bomphiologia

Bomphiologia (bom-phi-o-lo’-gi-a): Exaggeration done in a self-aggrandizing manner, as a braggart.

I am so cool that I can make it snow in Florida on the Fourth of July! Goodbye global warming–Mr. Ice is on the planet!

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)