Category Archives: epitheton

Epitheton

Epitheton (e-pith’-e-ton): Attributing to a person or thing a quality or description-sometimes by the simple addition of a descriptive adjective; sometimes through a descriptive or metaphorical apposition. (Note: If the description is given in place of the name, instead of in addition to it, it becomes antonomasia or periphrasis.)


There was no mistaking his footprint. His foot was a foot and it left a perfect trace in my garden’s soft soil. There was no mistaking it. Given his weight, “Neighborhood Fats” left a print twice as deep as me. It was clear he was stalking my domesticated asparagus, which he commented on the day before, with a trace of drool rolling off his lip. I was going to catch him and make him pay.

I settled into my garden vigil that night, hoping to nail him. I was dozing off around 11 when I was startled by a grunting sound. It was him! Dressed all in black, he looked like a giant bowling ball or a Kool-aid pitcher filled with 50 gallons of India ink. He was grunting because he was pulling a tarp—pulling it toward my newly sprouted rhubarb! Not only was he dressed in black, but he was wearing one of those ski mask things to conceal his pocked face and giant bushy eyebrows that looked like black bottle brushes when they were uncovered. I picked up a tomato cage. I was going to stab him in the eye with its wire tines. Just as I was about to make him eligible for a seeing-eye dog, I realized he was planting something in my garden. After seeing what he was up to, I couldn’t harm him. I let him wander off, pulling his big green tarp behind him.

The next morning I checked to see what he had planted in my garden. It was 6 pot plants! We’re only allowed three in my state. He was setting me up. I pulled all but three plants. The police came because they had a complaint that there was an illegal pot farm in my back yard. They checked and found nothing illegal and left.

I bought 6 ounces of cocaine and put it under the driver’s side seat of my neighbor’s never-locked van. Then, I called the police. He was wearing his garden marauding suit when the police dragged him in handcuffs out his front door to their waiting patrol car. I yelled: “There is no gardening without humility. Reap what you sow, dickhead!”


Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Buy a print edition of The Daily Trope! The print edition is entitled The Book of Tropes and is available on Amazon for $9.99. There is an additional edition available on Kindle for $5.99. Kindle

Epitheton

Epitheton (e-pith’-e-ton): Attributing to a person or thing a quality or description-sometimes by the simple addition of a descriptive adjective; sometimes through a descriptive or metaphorical apposition. (Note: If the description is given in place of the name, instead of in addition to it, it becomes antonomasia or periphrasis.)


Your face is long. It’s so long you can touch your belly button with your nose. It’s so long you don’t have to bow your head to eat your soup. It’s so long it looks like a flat-top football. It’s so long, if you nod your head enthusiastically you could bruise your septum. Ha! Ha! Ha!

You know this is BS.

You’re clearly down in the dumps—hence the “long face.” You need to do something about your lingering broken heart. Silky did a number on you—faithful, and by your side, until you maxed your credit card. It must’ve been painful when she stood up, grabbed her purse, and stalked out of Meaters when the waiter came back to your table and gave you the bad news about your card. She hasn’t called, emailed, or texted since.

She’s still streaming though, at Buzz-Cakes, where you met her and started your affair at $75.00 a pop plus tip.

You know, you should focus on rebuilding your credit rating, instead of further destroying your life pining over Silky. She’s nothing more than a kind of high tech hooker—she probably has six or seven other men on the hook. There’s no love here. Right now, you’re a total loser. Snap out of it. Try to forget her.


Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Buy a print edition of The Daily Trope! The print edition is entitled The Book of Tropes and is available on Amazon for $9.99. There is an additional edition available on Kindle for $5.99. Kindle

Epitheton

Epitheton (e-pith’-e-ton): Attributing to a person or thing a quality or description-sometimes by the simple addition of a descriptive adjective; sometimes through a descriptive or metaphorical apposition.  (Note: If the description is given in place of the name, instead of in addition to it, it becomes antonomasia or periphrasis.)

Donald Trump=loser.

He might be a great reality TV star or businessman, but as a President he stinks out loud, especially when he has to do things other than calling people names, playing golf all the time, bragging, and lying.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Buy a print edition of The Daily Trope! The print edition is entitled The Book of Tropes and is available on Amazon for $9.99. There is an additional edition available on Kindle for $5.99. Kindle

Epitheton

Epitheton (e-pith’-e-ton): Attributing to a person or thing a quality or description-sometimes by the simple addition of a descriptive adjective; sometimes through a descriptive or metaphorical apposition.  (Note: If the description is given in place of the name, instead of in addition to it, it becomes antonomasia or periphrasis.)

Donald Trump is an adolescent in grownup’s clothing.

Somebody should get President Trump a fidget spinner, a pair of black hi-top Converse sneakers, “Grand Theft Auto V,” and a vape pen.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Buy a print edition of The Daily Trope! The print edition is entitled The Book of Tropes and is available on Amazon for $9.99. There is an additional edition available on Kindle for $5.99. Kindle

Epitheton

Epitheton (e-pith’-e-ton): Attributing to a person or thing a quality or description-sometimes by the simple addition of a descriptive adjective; sometimes through a descriptive or metaphorical apposition.  (Note: If the description is given in place of the name, instead of in addition to it, it becomes antonomasia or periphrasis.)

Ricky is a rogue bulldozer.

  • Post your own epitheton on the “Comments” page!

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

Epitheton

Epitheton (e-pith’-e-ton): Attributing to a person or thing a quality or description-sometimes by the simple addition of a descriptive adjective; sometimes through a descriptive or metaphorical apposition.  (Note: If the description is given in place of the name, instead of in addition to it, it becomes antonomasia or periphrasis.)

He was a broken man–he lost the election, he lost his savings, he lost his lover, he lost his car, he lost his home, he lost his hope.  In fact, he lost everything that mattered to him except Teddy-Eddy, his drooling poodle. “Woof!” What a bummer!

  • Post your own epitheton on the “Comments” page!

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)