Tag Archives: schemes

Apothegm

Apothegm (a’-po-th-e-gem): One of several terms describing short, pithy sayings. Others include adage, gnomemaximparoemiaproverb, and sententia.

If it’s illegal, or you don’t have the time or energy, but you just don’t want to completely quit, remember the old saying, “If you can’t beat ’em, slap ’em around a little bit.” A few well-placed little owies can prove a point with just about anybody!

Whatever you do, don’t follow this advice: “If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em.” Many a bleeding-heart reformist went down this road, and where did they end up? Ask Patricia Hearst. Benedict Arnold? Guy Fawkes? Wang Jingwei?

Take my advice and you won’t become a traitor, or more important, you won’t turn against yourself.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

Appositio

Appositio (ap-po-sit’-i-o): Addition of an adjacent, coordinate, explanatory or descriptive element.

What’s going to happen next in national politics as we trudge into 2018. That is, there is so much up in the air with legal problems that it can’t be juggled or shot down! Most of it circles around pre-election Russian involvement with the White House–AKA President Trump and his Administration and their attempt to work with Russia to influence the election in President Trump’s favor.

I am looking forward to all of it being decided so it no longer provides the context for interpreting the motive of nearly everything the President does.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

Ara

Ara (a’-ra): Cursing or expressing detest towards a person or thing for the evils they bring, or for inherent evil.

Donald Trump: Satan’s minion. Damn everything that you have done and damn you too! There is not one measure you’ve enacted or piece of legislation you have supported that resonates with your supposed Christian values. For example, which Christian value does taking Medicaid benefits away from children adhere to? Faith? Hope? Charity? Loving your neighbor? Loving God with all your heart?

As Chief Counsel Joseph Welch said to Senator Joe McCarthy: “Have you no sense of decency?”

Look in the mirror: you are going to hell Mr. Sinner-in-Chief. You have no sense of decency.

Repent and change your sinful ways before it is too late! Get down on your knees and beg for your Lord and Savior Jesus Christ to enter your heart and fill it with love, and cleanse your soul of its wickedness, greed, and vanity. For the sake of your family. For the sake of the USA. For the sake of the world. Repent!

Jesus will hear your prayer of salvation. Say it!

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Articulus

Articulus (ar-tic’-u-lus): Roughly equivalent to “phrase” in English, except that the emphasis is on joining several phrases (or words) successively without any conjunctions (in which case articulus is simply synonymous with the Greek term asyndeton). See also brachylogia.

Articulus is also best understood in terms of differing speeds of style that depend upon the length of the elements of a sentence. The Ad Herennium author contrasts the the slower speed of concatenated membra (see membrum) to the quicker speed possible via articulus.

The Trumps!

Ivanka. Donald. Donald Jr. Melania. Tiffany. Barron. Eric.

The Trumps!

Ivanka is lovely and greedy.

Donald is lost.

Donald Jr. needs a few more visits to the orthodontist.

Melania wants a divorce.

Tiffany is a mystery.

Barron looks tired and malnourished.

Eric is terminally clueless.

The Trumps!

Definition and commentary courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Aschematiston

Aschematiston: The use of plain, unadorned or unornamented language. Or, the unskilled use of figurative language. A vice. [Outside of any particular context of use or sense of its motive, it may be difficult to determine what’s “plain, unadorned or unornamented language.” The same is true of the “unskilled use of figurative language.”]

1. Today is Wednesday. Tomorrow is Thursday. Then comes Friday. Friday is payday. Starting at 5.00pm, it is the best day of the week. It’s when the Senators and Representatives take off their shirts and hang around the mall.

2. The sky is clouded with big clouds, like floating Brillo pads hovering over bedsheets of snow. Winter has arrived and I am headed to the air-conditioned wonderland brimming with swimming pool hopes and coconut pies. It’s like watching a puppy wag its tail. Mexico, here I come!

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu). Bracketed text added by Gorgias.

Assumptio 

Assumptio (as-sump’-ti’o): The introduction of a point to be considered, especially an extraneous argument. See proslepsis (When paralipsis [stating and drawing attention to something in the very act of pretending to pass it over] is taken to its extreme. The speaker provides full details.).

I’m not going to talk about the Department of State–what’s left of it. A bunch of positions haven’t been filled and diplomats are being fired right and left. The hallways are empty. Might as well turn off the power and shut the place down.

This brings up the question: How are government agencies staffed? What kind of rationales (if any) need to be developed to grow or shrink them? How is an agency’s mission factored into its staffing, or elimination altogether? What are the puts and takes connected to staffing and restaffing?

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Asteismus 

Asteismus (as-te-is’-mus): Polite or genteel mockery. More specifically, a figure of reply in which the answerer catches a certain word and throws it back to the first speaker with an unexpected twist. Less frequently, a witty use of allegory or comparison, such as when a literal and an allegorical meaning are both implied.

Paul R.: I would never collude with the Russians!

Adam S.: You better hope you’re right or you’ll never get out of prison.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

Bomphiologia

Bomphiologia (bom-phi-o-lo’-gi-a): Exaggeration done in a self-aggrandizing manner, as a braggart.

Good evening.

A brief update on how I am making America great again!

I’ve made a lot of work for attorneys at the FBI–that’s great for the economy! I’ve scared the crap out of the American people–all worried about being blown up by some crazy North Korean dictator! That’s good for the pharmaceutical industry–all those tranquilizers being sold! It’s good for the psychology business too! Everybody’s trying to figure out how to manage their fear and they are using an unprecedented number of professional counselors! Sales of gin and vodka are up 300% as people try to numb their senses and calm their nerves the old fashioned way!

Those are just a few of my fantastic and definitely positive accomplishments–the actual list of accomplishments stretches from here to Russia (via the internet).  That’s pretty far and it is awesomely beautiful like my wife, my money, and my hair.

A big thumbs up to me! Almost singlehandedly, I’m making America great again!

In summary, stay tuned tomorrow for my unbelievably amazing plan for citizens 70 & over! Attention! No more waiting around for health care all you disgruntled seniors!

In conclusion, thank-you and God bless everything, with the exception of illegal immigrants, Democrats, and John McCain.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

Brachylogia

Brachylogia (brach-y-lo’-gi-a): The absence of conjunctions between single words. Compare asyndeton. The effect of brachylogia is a broken, hurried delivery.

Last year. Last month. Last week. Yesterday. This morning. This afternoon. This evening. Right now! I couldn’t stop wanting to go to Yankee Candle to buy some exotic scented candle to literally spice up what goes on around here when we’re alone together on a lonely country road in the front seat of my truck.

Those little pine tree hanger things really didn’t do the job and I was ready for a change.

So, look at my scented candle truck cab burner invention!

My only concern at this point is catching the truck’s cab on fire. That’s why I’ve made this tin-foil doohickey that looks like a little silver tent! If I’m right, and this works, I’ll make millions of dollars. I’ve named it the “Front Seat Fire Starter” after the passion it will arouse when lit!

Here, let’s fire up the prototype and see if we can set the front seat on fire!

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Catachresis

Catachresis (kat-a-kree’-sis): The use of a word in a context that differs from its proper application. This figure is generally considered a vice; however, Quintilian defends its use as a way by which one adapts existing terms to applications where a proper term does not exist.

I am spellbound with gratitude.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Cataphasis

Cataphasis (kat-af’-a-sis): A kind of paralipsis in which one explicitly affirms the negative qualities that one then passes over.

They say he likes children. We think his idea of ‘liking’ is not appropriate, especially when it involves taking his pants off in front of a 14-year-old girl.  But instead of talking about the deviance that happened many many years ago, let’s talk about today’s deviance–it isn’t sexual, it’s political. . . .

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

Cataplexis 

Cataplexis (kat-a-pleex’-is): Threatening or prophesying payback for ill doing.

You have hurt me badly. You have dragged me through the dirt. You ruined my life. You are rotten. You are evil. You make me sick.

If you think you’re going to get away with this, you are crazy. Watch your back. Don’t let your guard down. The clock is ticking and the alarm will go off when you least expect it: the bell will toll for thee.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

Charientismus

Charientismus (kar-i-en-tia’-mus): Mollifying harsh words by answering them with a smooth and appeasing mock.

You keep calling me an idiot. I guess I am an idiot for hanging out with you! I’m too smart for this crap.

I think it’s time for you think about who the real idiot is.

Can I call you an idiot?

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

Chiasmus

Chiasmus (ki-az’-mus): 1. Repetition of ideas in inverted order.  2. Repetition of grammatical structures in inverted order (not to be mistaken with antimetabole, in which identical words are repeated and inverted).

I am going to the mall! To the shopping center I’m headed! I’ve warmed up my credit card so it’ll slide right into the chip reader and make that alarming honking sound signaling that I’ve paid for some shoes or candy, a toilet bowl plunger or a bracelet made of fake gold! Just sign on the screen and everything’s mine.

Oh yeah!

Hi ho! Hi ho! It’s off to the mall I go! Bagging and bragging. Bragging and bagging! Pants: $150.00. Jacket: $445.00. Boots: $245.00. Socks: $60.00. Cashmere sweater: $420.00. Sunglasses: $155.00. Cologne: $85.00. Cookware: $1,120.00. Briefcase: $220.00. Laptop: $995.00. Blender: $95.00. Tent: $180.00. Heated toilet seat: $550.00. Staples: $3.20. Hat: $35.00.

Yahoo!

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu). Bracketed text added by Gorgias.

 

Chronographia

Chronographia (chro-no-graph’-i-a): Vivid representation of a certain historical or recurring time (such as a season) to create an illusion of reality. A kind of enargia: [the] generic name for a group of figures aiming at vivid, lively description.

Autumn is just about finished. In the woods behind my house the orange, red, yellow and brown leaves cover the ground. They speak in a raspy voice as we walk through them along our newly cleared trail. I don’t know what the leaves are saying, but it’s not about regret for falling softly to earth. It’s probably about their next incarnation as they will slowly begin to join the soil–to decay like everything else in the woods, and maybe at some point embrace an acorn or a beechnut or a catkin: to nourish them as they sprout into existence striving to be trees.

So, Daylight Savings Time is over. Halloween has come and gone. Now, we wait for the first frost and hope for a mild Winter, but we know it will go below zero and snow, and snow, and snow.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu). Bracketed text added by Gorgias.

Climax

Climax (cli’-max): Generally, the arrangement of words, phrases, or clauses in an order of increasing importance, often in parallel structure.

Once again, too soon after the previous ‘once again’, there was a gun and there were bullets. There was shooting and mass killing.

First I am shocked. Then I am saddened. Then I feel anger that turns into outrage.

What can I do? What can you do? What can we do? What can anybody do?

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (www.rhetoric.byu.edu)

Coenotes

Coenotes (cee’-no-tees): Repetition of two different phrases: one at the beginning and the other at the end of successive paragraphs. Note: Composed of anaphora and epistrophecoenotes is simply a more specific kind of symploce (the repetition of phrases, not merely words).

I am not going to leave. I need to be here–to watch TV and enjoy your cooking too! I will never go.

I am not going to leave. You need me to support you. You need the money I earn to make the mortgage payment and pay for the car and all the crap you bought on the internet. I will never go.

I am not going to leave. I don’t care what you say. We are a perfect couple. We compliment each other: I like staying home & you like going out. You are a vegetarian & I love meat. I like bowling & you think it sucks. I watch Fox News & you watch MSNBC. We are a perfect couple. I will never go.

You’re filing for a restraining order? Well, on that note, I guess it’s time to go.

You can find me again on Facebook when you realize what a mistake you’ve made!

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Commoratio

Commoratio (kom-mor-a’-ti-o): Dwelling on or returning to one’s strongest argument. Latin equivalent for epimone.

I think we have to consider what’s tangible when we’re trying to establish what kind of cheese this is. To be sure, it is blue cheese, but there are around 40 cheeses characterized by veins of blue mold.

I think our best bet is to read the label on the cheese’s package! It says “Blue Cheese.” Ha Ha! Read the label–always a good idea.

So, what we have here is generic USA blue cheese.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Comprobatio

Comprobatio (com-pro-ba’-ti-o): Approving and commending a virtue, especially in the hearers.

You sat there. You stayed awake. You asked easy questions. You stood and applauded and waved signs and booed when the time was right.

You made me look good! The rehearsal paid off. Believe me!

So, thank-you all for your loyalty and commitment to making America Great Again, and to hell with Puerto Rico, Rocket Man, and Polar Bears.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

Conduplicatio

Conduplicatio (con-du-pli-ca’-ti-o): The repetition of a word or words. A general term for repetition sometimes carrying the more specific meaning of repetition of words in adjacent phrases or clauses. Sometimes used to name either ploce or epizeuxis.

More! More! More! More what? Soup? Money? Lawn tractors? Friends? Weasels? Bar codes? Guns? Shoes? Bandwidth? Cake? Rainbows? Rice cookers? Wine? Smart Wool socks? Rings? Car seats? Salt? Scissors? Time? Proof? Polartec pants? Printer paper? Windows? Gluten? Gaslights? Cash? Ripe avacados? Room? Tea? Tables? Turnstiles? Tonsils? Fur coats? Space heaters? Sweaters? Crayons? Or what?

More! More! More! Never stop. No surfeit! No bulge! No harps playing as they put you on eternal layaway.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

 

Congeries 

Congeries (con’ger-eez): Piling up words of differing meaning but for a similar emotional effect [(akin to climax)].

Crying, sweating, stumbling, falling, passing out. Today, I tried walking home from work. If a passerby hadn’t known CPR and performed it on me I’d be resting in the morgue right now!

I’m going to check my health insurance policy and my ‘final expense’ policy tonight. If they’re in good order, I’ll try walking to work in the morning.

I think I’ll buy some sweatpants and t-shirts on Amazon and carry my suit and tie in a shopping bag. I think my loafers will work for footwear, but I may have to buy some walking shoes too.

If I die tomorrow, you can have my glass kangaroo collection and giant ice cream bowl–my two most prized possessions: valuable, delicate, different and beautiful. I’ve spent a lot of good quality time arranging and rearranging my kangaroos while eating Chocolate-Covered Cupcake ice cream from my bowl–which, as you know, is made from silver and is encrusted with moonstones.

Wish me luck and pass the kale and beans! Big day tomorrow!

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu). Bracketed text added by Gorgias.

Consonance

Consonance: The repetition of consonants in words stressed in the same place (but whose vowels differ). Also, a kind of inverted alliteration, in which final consonants, rather than initial or medial ones, repeat in nearby words. Consonance is more properly a term associated with modern poetics than with historical rhetorical terminology.

What he knew he lacked in substance he backed with pounding fists, vague references to “things” and snide asides directed toward his adversaries.  He was a dangerous hack–a puffed-up throwback to the glory days of demagogues, dictators and political thugs. We owe it to ourselves to put politicians like him on shelves labeled “Poison: Do Not Elect.”

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

Correctio

Correctio (cor-rec’-ti-o): The amending of a term or phrase just employed; or, a further specifying of meaning, especially by indicating what something is not (which may occur either before or after the term or phrase used). A kind of redefinition, often employed as a parenthesis (an interruption) or as a climax.

Jeff Flake–is that Little Jeffy Snow Flake? Big Jeffery Dandruff Flake? Or, Whiny Jeffin Corn Flake?

Wait! Those are the wrong questions to ask.

I should ask: what’s a fallen Flake like you doing criticizing me? Snow, dandruff and breakfast cereal are too good for you to be compared to!

Have a happy retirement Mr. Liar.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

Deesis

Deesis (de’-e-sis): An adjuration (solemn oath) or calling to witness; or, the vehement expression of desire put in terms of “for someone’s sake” or “for God’s sake.”

Bozo: I swear on my mother’s grave that I would never cheat on you baby. You mean the world to me. For God’s sake, you’ve got to believe me.

Other: Your mother’s in the next room watching Jeopardy on TV. She’s alive. How can you swear on her grave?

Bozo: Oh–hmm–I should’ve said her burial plot.

Other: Where’s her burial plot?

Bozo: Well, I actually haven’t bought it yet. Here’s the brochure. I could swear on the brochure. Is that good enough for you baby?

Other: No, and who is that woman sitting next your mother on the couch?

Bozo: Um well, she’d an old friend. She stopped by to use the bathroom and decided to stay and watch TV with my mother. Don’t worry, there’s nothing between us–except you and my mother–ha ha ha.

Other: Have a good life Bozo. Good bye.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

Dehortatio

Dehortatio (de-hor-ta’-ti-o): Dissuasion.

If you keep doing that you’ll get warts on your hand and everybody will know what you’ve been doing.

Do you want that to happen?

You better quit.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).