Alleotheta

Alleotheta (al-le-o-the’-ta): Substitution of one case, gender, mood, number, tense, or person for another. Synonymous with enallage. [Some rhetoricians claim that alleotheta is a] general category that includes antiptosis [(a type of enallage in which one grammatical case is substituted for another)] and all forms of enallage [(the substitution of grammatically different but semantically equivalent constructions)].

Me and my wife were sitting next to each other on the couch. I said, “As usual we is bored.” My wife would say “Yes” and squirm around a little. We sit there until 10 or 11 and then go to bed. Nothing happens. We go straight to sleep.

I am going to buy a dog to liven things up. It was like magic. A big brown dog showed up at our door. We went ahead and let him in. We named him Brown. He was the size of a pony and shook them windows over there when he barked. By scratchin’ he turned my easy chair into a pile of fluff in a pile on the floor. We were spendin’ $100 per week on his dog food. We could barely afford our rent, let alone the dog food. My job at the kite factory didn’t pay that good.

Then I got an idea: Brown could give dog rides in the front yard. After all, he was as big as a pony. I got him a pony saddle and put up a sign: Dog Rides $2.00. The neighborhood kids flocked to our yard to ride Brown. I kept a rope around his neck so he could only go in a circle. I was feedin’ him a dog treat one afternoon when he bit me on the hand. It was just a little nip, so I thought nothin’ of it.

Then, one day, I dropped my rope and Brown got loose an’ run off with a kid ridin’ him. The kid’s parents were really angry. I took off after Brown hopin’ to find him quickly and return the kid. It didn’t happen. That was four months ago.

A few people have spotted Brown with the kid still ridin’ him. Most recently, it was at Burger King when Brown and the kid pushed through the doors. The kid ordered a Cheese Whopper and fries while Brown growled menacingly, scaring people away.

Also, they’ve been raiding grocery stores for 10 pound bags a’ dog food. They gallop into the grocery store and go straight to the pet food section. The kid grabs a bag a’ food and they gallop outta the grocery store, scaring the customers with Brown barkin’ his explosive bark.

The kid’s parents are suing me for $1,000,000. I’m just hoping Brown will bring the kid back. I don’t have no million dollars. With luck, they could squeeze $500.00 outta me and my wife, who has left me.

Definitions courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu.

Daily Trope is available in an early edition on Amazon in paperback under the title of The Book of Tropes for $9.95. It is also available in Kindle format for $5.99.