Category Archives: antanagoge

Antanagoge

Antanagoge (an’-ta-na’-go-gee): Putting a positive spin on something that is nevertheless acknowledged to be negative or difficult.


The oceans are rising. I used have to walk 100 yards to the beach from my summer home. Now, I only walk fifty yards to get to the nature-heated 85 degree ocean. These are the fruits of climate change—nothing bad about a hot ocean and a nearer shore! No more freezing chills up and down your spine when you try to swim. No more trudging to the beach and arriving tired from the trek. Then, there’s the diminishing bug population. What can be bad about that? I haven’t had to scrape a messy Monarch Butterfly off my car’s windshield in years! I remember what a pain in the butt it was—all that yellow goo and shattered orange and black wings. Thank God they’re going the way of the do-do. Then there’s birds. Those damn Passenger pigeons would fly over in the thousands, pooping mercilessly on everything below them. Luckily people loved how they tasted and market hunters with their sky canons blasted them into extinction. The last passenger pigeon was roasted and served with new potatoes, coleslaw, beets, boiled milkweed pods, and a bottle of “Dr. Grunt” a popular carbonated beverage made of sugar and water with a hint of ergot fungus. Finally: no more crap on the roof. But also, no more tasty bird on the table. But you know, nobody wants a crap coated roof. If you have to choose, you go for the roof. When the extinction was reported on the news, all the smart people gave a big “huzza” and started scraping the pigeon crap off their houses.

Instead of making climate change into a problem that needs be be solved, we should look at the positive things it has brought our way. Ten years ago, I was chased by a polar bear when I was minding my own business at the North Pole. These kinds of animals are a menace to humanity—they will eat you for God’s sake! Since I was chased, the Polar Ice Cap has melted a lot, leaving the damn polar bears to float around on breakaway icebergs until they drown. To say this is a bad thing is like saying winning the lotto is a bad thing!

Basically, I say you can shove your white rhino and run over a Darwin’s Fox tonight with your SUV! People are at the top of the food chain. Why treat some damn woodpecker or centipede like it was up there at the top like us? Next thing you know, we’ll be marrying Bambi’s mother or competing for jobs with raccoons! I say, look at the bright side. Just think if the only mammals running around out there were deer, cows, horses, sheep, and pigs. Just think if the only insects were honeybees. Just think if the only birds were chickens, turkeys, and ducks. Just think if the only plants were tomatoes, wheat, rice, corn, clover, and potatoes. Just think. A simple uncomplicated world with honey, duck meat, and cornbread is coming our way, courtesy of climate change. Take a deep breath and if you choke, be grateful. It’s the sound of better things coming. It’s the sound of change.


Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

Paperback and Kindle editions of The Daily Trope are available at Amazon under the title The Book of Tropes.

Antanagoge

Antanagoge (an’-ta-na’-go-gee): Putting a positive spin on something that is nevertheless acknowledged to be negative or difficult.


The world is drying up, forests are in flames, packs of wild dogs roam what used to be streets. All the freshwater fish are dead and stinking up the air. The butterflies have vanished, cows have stopped producing milk. Inflation is 200%, and people all over world are whining about Armageddon. Wake up you weenies! These are the worst of times, but they are also the best of times.

Every day there are fewer people to compete with for food, clothing and shelter. Let that sink in. As long as you’re not dead, you’re winning. This is a time of great opportunity— I can hear it knocking! Whoops—that was machine gun fire. So what? FOX News is still on the air. If you have electricity you can watch them report from the secret bunker in Queens, NY. They’re showing reruns of Trump’s rallies and his unjust prosecution by a jury—an un-American vestige of so-called justice. Now, we’ve moved on to Kangaroo Courts—an Australian creation named after cute furry marsupials that kick and punch you to death.

Anyway, as your Supreme Dictator, I, The Pillow Man, will do nothing for you. All the talk of a Zombie onslaught can’t be true. Why? Because I don’t believe it. My mother told me not to believe in zombies and that’s the end of it, God rest her soul. Besides, if a zombie eats your brain you become a zombie: instant immortality. Let that sink in: instant immortality. I think that is a positive thing: immortality without having to toe some religious line or go all the way to heaven.

So, the world may be ending, but it’s a new beginning. Get on the gravy train while you still can! Lock and load and make something of yourself!


Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

Paperback and Kindle editions of The Daily Trope are available at Amazon under the title The Book of Tropes.

Antanagoge

Antanagoge (an’-ta-na’-go-gee): Putting a positive spin on something that is nevertheless acknowledged to be negative or difficult.


So you got 10 years in prison, Dad. All that free time! Wow! Just think of all the friends you’ll make, and the books you’ll have the time read. You’ll finally be able to finish the Tom Swift set that Grandpa gave you for Christmas back in the 60s. Oh! You get to live there for free too! I’m jealous Dad. Maybe I’ll try a little fraud!

And sorry, I’m no good at writing letters, so don’t expect to hear from me, and my unbelievably busy schedule won’t permit me me to visit—after all, I’m Don Junior, one of the smartest in-demand young winners in the world.


Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

Paperback and Kindle editions of The Daily Trope are available at Amazon under the title The Book of Tropes.

Antanagoge

Antanagoge (an’-ta-na’-go-gee): Putting a positive spin on something that is nevertheless acknowledged to be negative or difficult.

You got your MBA. You got you’re first job!   So what, if you work 14 hours a day for peanuts. At least you’ve got a job. That’s more than a lot of people can say. Also, so what if nobody’s ever heard of the company you’re working for. I bet the FBI has! But that’s a positive thing–eventually you could end up being a star witness, gaining the kind of notoriety lots of people would pay for! Or, if you help steer the company’s woes in the ‘right’ direction, you could get a huge pay raise and a high-powered promotion to the top of the heap!

Wow! I envy you, and I hope you don’t get shot on the job or anything like that. And hey, even if you do, somebody will want to make a movie, and if you survived being shot, you’ll get tons of money just for being a consultant.

Things are looking good for you my friend! Take care! Keep you head down! See you around.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

Antanagoge

Antanagoge (an’-ta-na’-go-gee): Putting a positive spin on something that is nevertheless acknowledged to be negative or difficult.

Well, here we are by the side of the road with a flat tire. AAA says they’ll be here in about 45 minutes.

I know we’re stuck! But we’re stuck together–all of us in the same place at once. Let’s use this together time to talk about Josie’s upcoming wedding. It’s a great time to at least start our conversation.

Again, let’s use this time to do something worthwhile–it’s something we’ve been putting off ever since they announced to us that their marriage is looming on the horizon. Betty, what do you think?

How can we undermine Josie’s plans to marry that idiot?

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

Antanagoge

Antanagoge (an’-ta-na’-go-gee): Putting a positive spin on something that is nevertheless acknowledged to be negative or difficult.

In the controversies over the efficacy of flying the Confederate flag on government properties, we find ourselves at a crossroad–a crossroad made of stars and bars.

Crossroads are symbolic of sites of choice. Being at a crossroad puts one in a crisis. One must decide–this way, or that way?  This particular crisis will be painfully decided, but it will foster a deeper appreciation of the pitfalls the flag symbolically  portends when it is used as a roadmap to give directions toward a desirable future.  As Lincoln said, “If we could first know where we are and wither we are tending, we would better judge what to do, and how to do it.

We know that roadmaps enable us to see beyond the myriad crossroads, find our destination, and  choose a route that will best deliver us there.

If we consult history, we can see that the crisscrossed stars and bars are part of a roadmap showing us that no matter which direction we turn by its guidance, no matter which route we take in accord with its roadways, the destination is always the same: human suffering rooted in the buying and the selling of human beings and sacrificing to slaughter young men who had nothing to benefit from winning the war–nothing to benefit by preserving an institution that was beyond their means and did not serve their interest.

It’s time to fold up that map and put it away, or at the very least acknowledge its irrelevance as source of decision and direction.

To those bear a deep affection for the direction the flag has provided them through life, please remember that the crisscrossed stars and bars provide no route or passage to justice, peace, or the compassionate love of humanity that opens heaven’s gates.

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

 

Antanagoge

Antanagoge (an’-ta-na’-go-gee): Putting a positive spin on something that is nevertheless acknowledged to be negative or difficult.

As we continue to push for change against the rock-solid Republican Wall of thoughtless opposition, we will hurt and we will be hurt, but at the same time, by pushing, we will build up and strengthen our resolve, and we will push some more, and we will become stronger, and we will start to move that Republican Wall off its cynical foundation, and come November that Republican Wall will come tumbling down.

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

Antanagoge

Antanagoge (an’-ta-na’-go-gee): Putting a positive spin on something that is nevertheless acknowledged to be negative or difficult.

As we undertake our search for wisdom, know that we may be scorned by strangers, forgotten by our friends, and lost to our families. But once gained, our wisdom will carry us back to public life, partnerships, and intimacies better equipped to cope with the uncertainties of being-together that, under wisdom’s watch, are transformed from fears into hopes, and hopes into actions that will leave us little to regret.

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)