Category Archives: exouthenismos

Exouthenismos

Exouthenismos (ex-ou-then-is’-mos): An expression of contempt.


The world is filled with uncertainty, doubt, and pain. The aisle you walked down on our wedding day was an off ramp. The vows you made were sarcastic— they were just missing the cutting tone. I took you literally when I should’ve known you meant opposite of what you said.And now you’re leaving me for Roman Gootvorm, the fat dolt who works at Cliff’s. He can’t even run a barcode scanner or bag things—he uses a giant paper bag for one scratch-off lotto ticket. And the truck he drives is a rusted, dented road hazard. The seats are worn to the springs, the passenger window only goes halfway down and the tires are nearly treadles—but he’s got a friend who sells him counterfeit inspection stickers. He’s been “working” on his GED for five years. Some day he might take the test,

And here I am. Award-winning used car salesman. I average 2 units per week. This week I sold a red 2019 Cadillac that Cuomo drove to secret meetings with Canadian espionage agents. Unfortunately, he was chucked out of office for his shenanigans. But still, I sold that baby to a bill collector from Albany for $3,599! That’s kind of high-end salesman I’ve always been. And oh, didn’t I get you that possum skin coat for Christmas last year, and a multifunction digital watch, as well as a box of 1 dozen BIC pens, with assorted color ink? And what about the wooden cane I bought for your mother or the pad for your father’s ride-mower seat? I am a good man. I don’t deserve to be abandoned for a stupid loser. So what if he won $6,000,000 in the lottery? It makes me think it was my money you were after all along. I guess he needs help spending his fortune. Well, you just go ahead.

I hate you more than I hate spinach. You have taken a toll on my soul. Maybe I made fun of your lazy eye more than I should have. I don’t know. After all I did, you’re leaving. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I will never talk to you again. We’re through.


Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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Exouthenismos

Exouthenismos (ex-ou-then-is’-mos): An expression of contempt.


I hate you and and so should everybody else. My life was going so well until you came along and stole my heart and my baseball card collection. It took me 25years to put it together—25 years of riding America’s highways, byways, back roads, and dirt roads in search of cards. I spent nearly all of my annuity paying for the cards. It was my life’s work. People called me “Johnny Card” and they weren’t joking. My life was vested in cardboard rectangles with pictures of men in hats. I have enough bubblegum to give all the homeless people in North America a sweet treat.

And you—you, you, you—stole all my cards, not just a select few, but ALL of them. I thought you loved me. I welcomed you into my home. I cooked for you. I watched what you wanted to watch on TV. I am no fan of Julia Child reruns, or Cheers, or Wheel of Fortune, or Jeopardy, but I watched and didn’t complain. I should’ve been suspicious when you asked to see my collection before we’d ever talked about it.

I heard you were spotted in Las Vegas wearing an expensive fur coat. I hope somebody spray paints you and shoves the spray can down your throat. I hate you. My hopes for you are brutally painful. I could go into lurid detail, but I won’t, even though my therapist says it would do me good and help clear my head.

While I wait to hear about my baseball cards, I’ve started a new collection: seed packets from around the world. It is such a stupid thing to collect, nobody will want steal it. I’m not enjoying collecting seed packets, but maybe it’ll grow on me.


Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Buy a print edition of The Daily Trope! The print edition is entitled The Book of Tropes and is available on Amazon for $9.99. There is also a Kindle edition available for $5.99.

Exouthenismos

Exouthenismos (ex-ou-then-is’-mos): An expression of contempt.


“There is a time to hate” and I hate you—not just now, but for as long as I live and beyond. People like you deserve to be worked over with a set of electric hedge clippers, giving your face a buzz-cut, and then, putting your privates on a tree stump and having at them with a dull hatchet. I know this is disgusting, and maybe psycho, but you’ve pushed me here with your own pathological behavior: taping an M-80 on my pet turtle’s back, lighting it, blowing Tuffy into fragments of meat and shell, and laughing and bragging about your sicko behavior to the dumpster dwellers you call friends, puts you in league with the criminally insane.

I am going to have you arrested, tried, convicted and put in prison. Wait until the other inmates find out what you did to get there. They will find ways to “enhance” your sentence.

I have managed to find enough of Tuffy in the parking lot to bury in this cigar box. I’ve taped his photo to the lid and painted a little pond around it. I am working on Tuffy’s eulogy. It is hard to keep my rage out of it—you have ruined something special and taken an innocent creature’s life. You are disgusting. You are sick. You will go to Hell when you die. If I am alive, I will come to your burial and spit on your grave, or, find a way to scatter your ashes in a porta-potty.

May eternity treat you with horror and pain.


Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Buy a print edition of The Daily Trope! The print edition is entitled The Book of Tropes and is available on Amazon for $9.99. There is also a Kindle edition available for $5.99.

Exouthenismosexou

Exouthenismos (ex-ou-then-is’-mos): An expression of contempt.

Words can’t express how disgusting you are! Oh wait–to some extent they can. You are a lying piece of shit. Your term of office as President of the United States has been like a clogged toilet–floating shit fragments, brown water and stained toilet paper waiting to be plunged out and sent to the septic tank where you and all your ideas, and actions, and advisors belong.

So, President Stench, go to hell. The sooner the better.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Buy a print edition of The Daily Trope! The print edition is entitled The Book of Tropes and is available on Amazon for $9.99. There is also a Kindle edition available for $5.99.

Exouthenismos

Exouthenismos (ex-ou-then-is’-mos): An expression of contempt.

Being near you makes me want to puke. I look at you close-up and think about what you’ve done to my country–the harm is palpable throughout the world. You are not well-respected by other world leaders (they make fun of you). You have shown your tacit support for racism.  You have told huge whoppers, and much, much more. Why don’t you just get in a golf cart and drive into the sunset, pick up a cab, go to the airport, put on a disguise, and fly home to New York City?

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Buy a print edition of The Daily Trope! The print edition is entitled The Book of Tropes and is available on Amazon for $9.99. There is also a Kindle edition available for $5.99.

Exouthenismos

Exouthenismos (ex-ou-then-is’-mos): An expression of contempt.

You make me sick! You cheat on your wife. You cheat on your taxes, and you’re going to cheat the American people if you get elected. You make me sick.

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Exouthenismos

Exouthenismos (ex-ou-then-is’-mos): An expression of contempt.

You’re even worse than Mitch McConnel.  In fact, you’re not even good enough to swab his drool!

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Exouthenismos

Exouthenismos (ex-ou-then-is’-mos): An expression of contempt.

Your so-called advice is a fatal plague spread by the infectious stench of your speech.

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Exouthenismos

Exouthenismos (ex-ou-then-is’-mos): An expression of contempt.

You are a stain.

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Exouthenismos

Exouthenismos (ex-ou-then-is’-mos): An expression of contempt.

You cheated. You lied. You broke my heart. You are vile.

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).