Eustathia (yoos-tay’-thi-a): Promising constancy in purpose and affection.
I told her I would love her always—at work and at play, together wiping down cars as they emerged from the pinky Winky Car Wash, and at the “Corn Hole” board in my parent’s back yard. She laughed and hit me in the face with her wet rag wiping rag.
Annie knew I was full of shit. I thought of tailoring my profession of love to the car wash and Corn Hole would make it more credible. But I screwed up. We had never played corn hole. I had mixed her up with Holly,
The day before I had told Holly what I had told Annie but the work we do is different, so I used it along with Corn Hole: we actually play Corn Hole. I moonlight and work with Holly in the mall handing out flyers for Madame Fletcher Fortune Teller. She had a booth on the main concourse and did a good business with impulse clients.
I told her about the Annie blunder and she took out her cards. She said, “Give me five dollars and the cards will tell you what to do.” I gave her the five dollars and she cut the deck. Up came the suicide king—the king of hearts. She shrieked and threw the deck up in the air. The cards fell on the floor all around us. They were all suicide kings!
Madame Fletcher ran out into mall yelling “The shit will hit the fan!” Suddenly Annie and Holly were standing there. Annie had her rag and Holly held a Madame Fletcher Flyer cut in the shape of a dagger. They said in perfect harmony “Screw you two-timer.”
They started walking slowly toward me. Annie was swinging her rag over her head. Holly had her paper dagger aimed at my crotch. I was ashamed and blushed and told them I loved them both and I didn’t know what to do. They put down their “weapons” and opened their arms to me. Annie said, “Love is love. I’ll take what I can get.” Holly nodded her head in agreement. “Me too,” she said.
We moved to God’s Country, Utah where polygamy is permitted.
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