Category Archives: optatio

Optatio

Optatio (op-ta’-ti-o): Expressing a wish, often ardently.


I wish I was a pipe. I would carry water in and sewage out. In and out. I would have a clear set of responsibilities, unlike now. I am the Dean of a small liberal arts college where I spend my time tricking the faculty into believing unilateral decision making is best for them, that “it’s really what they want” even though they don’t think so. Like all deans, I’ll be leaving after four years, where my skill as a bullshitter will land me a presidency, and I’ll get to tell bigger and bigger lies. Only the Trustees can stop me. The faculty is a weenie-wimp breeding ground—they’re like intellectually active comical bedbugs— they suck each other’s blood and make each other itch, and they think it’s funny. They’re going to do nothing, except make tokens of tokens ad infinitum.

Hmm. I wish to change my wish. I wish I was a pandemic. My “disease” would be called “Academic Administritus,” mild, but ubiquitous and mostly psychological. It will make faculty constantly affect righteous indignation. If it’s “their way” they’ll never get it, but they will believe they did because they got mad, shook their fist, and felt good afterwards. I’ll just make sure they have a parking place and the process will repeat itself until they retire, or go somewhere else. If you take away their parking, they will be cured and will kill you.


Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetorica” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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Optatio

Optatio (op-ta’-ti-o): Expressing a wish, often ardently.


As I wish upon a star, I would love to have a Cuban cigar. The orange glow on a warm summer night, the delicious aroma, the flavor, and the perfect ash. Romeo y Juliette wherefore art thou?


Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetorica” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Buy a print edition of The Daily Trope! The print edition is entitled The Book of Tropes and is available on Amazon for $9.99. Also available in Kindle format for $5.95.

Optatio 

Optatio (op-ta’-ti-o): Expressing a wish, often ardently.

Oh my God! I wish I had never said that. I’ll probably be dead by sometime tonight. Somebody should outlaw Twitter. It is all Twitter’s fault. It is so easy to hurl insults into the night. Before I got removed from office, the Evangelicals loved me–now, I just drop the suggestion that they’re a gang of deluded power brokers who’ve built an empire of greed and gullibility, and all the radio and TV hosts want to crucify me. Hmmm. Maybe that’s a compliment. Consider the source.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetorica” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Buy a print edition of The Daily Trope! The print edition is entitled The Book of Tropes and is available on Amazon for $9.99. Also available in Kindle format for $5.95.

Optatio

Optatio (op-ta’-ti-o): Expressing a wish, often ardently.

I wish I hadn’t said that. It did more damage than I ever imagined it would. In the future, I’ll steer clear of references to bleeding in my Tweets. 

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetorica” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Buy a print edition of The Daily Trope! The print edition is entitled The Book of Tropes and is available on Amazon for $9.99.

Optatio

Optatio (op-ta’-ti-o): Expressing a wish, often ardently.

Y: I wish I could lift 300 pounds. It would be so cool to be a strong man. I could lift the front of a car, or a ATM, or all the crap piled up in your bedroom. I could be called “King Crap Lifter.” Your friends would probably build a monument to me!

OH! How I wish, I wish, I wish!

Z: Go for it dad. It’s about the only thing you’ve wished for since I was born. Your daydreams are like specks of dirt on a cracked camera lens. What you make wishes for are like specks of dirt on the specks of dirt.

So: Go for it King Hernia! And while you’re blowing out an intestine, I wish you’d pay me an allowance; then I might start picking things up.

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetorica” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

Optatio

Optatio (op-ta’-ti-o): Expressing a wish, often ardently.

ME: I wish you would stop making that whistling noise–it’s driving me crazy!!  We’re going to have to get your nose fixed or give you away.

YOU: Don’t talk to Nummy that way. Look, you made him pee on the carpet.

ME: I’m so sorry Nummy. Let’s go to the doggie park so you can play with your friends. Here’s a treat!

YOU: Don’t forget to clean the carpet.

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetorica” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

Optatio

Optatio (op-ta’-ti-o): Expressing a wish, often ardently.

Child: Mommy! I wish I had an iPad–one of the new ones. Mommy, please buy me an iPad. Please Mommy! Please! Please! Please!

Mother: No.

Child: I hate you. I wish you were dead.

Mother: You’re grounded.

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetorica” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

Optatio

Optatio (op-ta’-ti-o): Expressing a wish, often ardently.

Earthquakes. Explosions. Floods. Fires. Disaster after disaster after disaster. I wish the world was a more tranquil place–more than anything I can imagine, hope for, or desire I wish these things had never happened and will never happen again. But they have. And they will. Instead of wishing for what’s impossible, we should do what is possible to prepare for the worst, and possibly, as we prepare for the worst, we may cultivate a quality of foresight that permeates all of our planning.

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetorica” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

Optatio

Optatio (op-ta’-ti-o): Expressing a wish, often ardently

There’s too much weirdness in the world! If only I could have one normal day–I wish the hours would pass like big fluffy clouds–just one normal day–that’s all I want–one normal day!

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetorica” (rhetoric.byu.edu)