Category Archives: prodiorthosis

Prodiorthosis

Prodiorthosis (pro-di-or-tho’-sis): A statement intended to prepare one’s audience for something shocking or offensive. An extreme example of protherapeia.

It was said that eons ago, before people could actually talk–they grunted. I know that may be shocking to both of you, but grunting may actually say a lot. You probably grunt at you your most emotional moments. Think about it: lifting a heavy weight and putting it down–Ungh!” There are other notable grunting moments in the peoples’ lives and they are generally experienced at passionate and positive moments, but sometimes not.”

Now, I need to tell you: You have 48 hours to vacate these premises for non-payment of rent. Failure to do so will result in your forcible eviction and arrest for squatting. You possessions will be confiscated and donated to a charitable organization.

UNGH! (The Listeners–a duet)

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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Prodiorthosis

Prodiorthosis (pro-di-or-tho’-sis): A statement intended to prepare one’s audience for something shocking or offensive. An extreme example of protherapeia.

Good afternoon members of the press. Our lives typically run along more or less predictable lines. We get up. We go to work. We go home. Well, I am sad to say that today isn’t normal. President Donald John Trump has been kidnapped. He is being held hostage somewhere in San Francisco, California by people who have threatened “remove his pussy grabbing hands” if he does not pay $500 million in reparations to his sexual assault victims, prohibit his children from writing any more “piece of shit” books, and stop “most of his lying” to the American people. The kidnappers realize that President Trump may not be able to completely stop lying and are willing to allow him 5 lies per day (down from 22).

The United States government stands ready to do all it can to secure the President’s safe return. Some time next month the Coast Guard will fly around over San Francisco Bay, and the local Boy Scouts will undertake a vigilance campaign positioning themselves outside convenience stores and video arcades, twice a week from 3-5 pm.

If you know of anybody with $500 million, please inform Acting President Pence. He believes that private funding is appropriate in this case: “Mother thinks it would be wrong to use federal tax dollars to pay ransom, especially to people from San Francisco who have turned their backs on Jesus.”

So, members of the press. There you have it. But, as they say, “Every cloud has a silver lining.”

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Prodiorthosis

Prodiorthosis (pro-di-or-tho’-sis): A statement intended to prepare one’s audience for something shocking or offensive. An extreme example of protherapeia.

I will begin what I have to say innocently enough, but I warn you, my words may drill holes in the bottom of your heart, provoke anger, and disgust you.

There is the “same” thing. There is the “different” thing. Same and different.  Different and same. Different times. Different places. Same intentions. Same effects.

Brussels. Paris. Haifa. Istanbul. Kabul. Iskandariya. And 100’s of other obscure and not-so-obscure places.

2014-2015: 17,041 wounded; 9,314 dead.

March 27, 2016. Easter Sunday. Lahore, Pakistan. 320 wounded; 72  dead–mostly woman and children.

Suicide bombers.

Different times. Different places. Same intentions. Same effects.

Nobody doubts that Lahore happened. Nobody doubts the intention and the effects.

But, there is a difference between not doubting that Lahore happened, and believing that Lahore happened, and I warn you, understanding the difference between “not doubting” and believing is where terror begins.

The truth produced by believing will not set you free.

It will terrify you.

It will drape dread in the background of your everyday life, like some sort of Satanic bunting celebrating your unexpected death: your slow bleed on the pavement, your eye torn from your innocent face, your ears ringing–the carillon of concussion colluding with shrapnel and your gaping socket, leaking out what’s left of your stupefied fate.

Why aren’t you terrified? Why aren’t you afraid?

Is it because you are strong and impervious and courageous and young and playing the odds and all the other reasons that keep you away from CNN and call to you seductively to go out, to act like everything’s NIMBY (and get mutilated with your buddies on a Saturday night)?

Well, there are Sirens and there are sirens. The Befores of not doubting, and the afters of believing.

Will you live the know the difference?

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Prodiorthosis

Prodiorthosis (pro-di-or-tho’-sis): A statement intended to prepare one’s audience for something shocking or offensive. An extreme example of protherapeia.

I thank you for coming here today.  You all know why you’re here. Nevertheless, I want to remind you, what you’re about hear and see is explicit, vivid, gruesome, and heartbreaking. It will make some of you sick, again. It will make some of you cry, again. It will outrage some of you, again. But, again, and again, and again, this experience will deepen our conviction, and it will strengthen our voices as we ground what we speak in the sights and sounds of this presentation, again, and again, and again, until the pundits and the powerful and the politically anointed come to their senses and support our cause.

Ok? Nobody? All right, here we go.

“While you’re sitting comfortably in suburbia sipping your piña colada by the pool and trying to decide which color BMW to buy your daughter for college, or when you’re roosting up in your rooftop condo counting your blessings as you gloat with your broker, counting the whopping profit you just made, somewhere else . . .”

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Prodiorthosis

Prodiorthosis (pro-di-or-tho’-sis): A statement intended to prepare one’s audience for something shocking or offensive. An extreme example of protherapeia.

Given last week’s tragic events, please be advised that what I’m about to show you and tell you will be deeply disturbing–it may even sicken you. However, given our sworn duty and obligation to serve the people, we must examine all the evidence and know all the facts.

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).