Category Archives: apocope

Apocope

Apocope (a-pok’-o-pe): Omitting a letter or syllable at the end of a word. A kind of metaplasm.


I’m goin’ to the go go. Ha ha! That was fifty friggin’ years ago. Now, I can’t even get off the couch without Junior’s help—too many cannolis spoiled the broth. Now, I’m goin’ to the went went—went in my bed, went in my pants, went in my pajamas, went to the nursing home. I used to rival Fred Astaire when I was dancin’ to Chubby Checker or Freddie Canon. I Twisted until my pants chafed my wanger, an’ then, I’d have a Schaefer to cool down and sit with my cousin Lou Lou and we would talk about runnin’ away together, and maybe travel the USA in the Oscar Meyer Wienermobile. Her father, my uncle, worked for Oscar Meyer. He ran the pig grinder, which went non-stop, day and night. As part of his pay, Uncle Thurgood got a pack of wieners each week. Aunt Vie would make sauerkraut and I’d go over and feast on wieners. Lou Lou would always say she was going to eat my wiener out in the garage. I told her it was my wiener and she should better leave it alone. She had her own wiener right there in front of her covered with mustard and steamin’ hot!

Well, anyhoo, here I am at Elder Senior Nook Sunshine Grove Facility, watching TV, playing Candy Land, and watching cars come and go in the parking lot. Today, I saw a car with big tail fins an’ I got so excited I passed out for a couple a’ minutes. I have a laptop that keeps me busy too. I have made videos of me doing unusual things with my lunch. I put them on Tick-Tok an’ and got kicked off for violatin’ community standards. Next, I will open a shop on Etsy. I will sell the knitted coasters I make in Craft Time. They are modeled after vintage car hubcaps. When I show them to people, they don’t know what they are. All the Attendants want to know is if I’ve made a will yet. I tell them no, and they are nice to me.


Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Paperback and Kindle editions of The Daily Trope are available on Amazon under the title The Book of Tropes.

Apocope

Apocope (a-pok’-o-pe): Omitting a letter or syllable at the end of a word. A kind of metaplasm.


Dad: You’re goin’ to school whether you like it or not! You’re gettin’ a education if I have to kill you, you little bugger. George Washington, the father of our country, went to school and wrote his notes with a piece a cow poop on the back of a fryin’ pan. There’s plenty of poop from Woopow aroun’ the yard you could use, and grandma even gave you her old pen from 4th grade. All you need to do is dip it in ink and it’s ready to go, you little malingerer.

Why won’t you go to school son? It can’t be that hard. I made it to 7th grade an’ it was a breeze. I took woodshop, home economics, and trigonometry in my last semester.

Son: There’s a bully who picks on me because we moved here from New York. He calls me “City Slicker,” “Crime Boss,” and “Yankee” and pushes me down on the playground.

Dad: Son, you know we moved down here to build a new branch of the family business. I know it’s been hard on you—all these people coming over here day and night, my sore knuckles, and the pile of credit cards on the dining room table.

Let’s do this: Tell me the bully’s name and he’ll never bully you again.

Son: Gee Dad—you’re the best. Can you, me, and Mom go out for a ice cream?


Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Paperback and Kindle editions of The Daily Trope are available on Amazon under the title The Book of Tropes.

Apocope

Apocope (a-pok’-o-pe): Omitting a letter or syllable at the end of a word. A kind of metaplasm.


I’m endin’ this thing right now! We have been goin’ steady since high school. I just turned 32 and that’s too old for goin’ steady. I don’t care if your mother went steady with your father until she got pregnant when she was 36. You are not your mother!

So, it’s been great goin’ with you, and here’s hopin’ you’ll find somebody else who’s weird like you—maybe one of those creeps who hangs out at the gas station. What about Gomer Yanket? Remember him? He was home-schooled by his anarchist father and spent 6 years in prison for blowing up a shoe store. He’s sewn his wild oats and is probably ready to go steady! He’s got a job at the landfill stomping on cans, and he knows how to cook.

I’ll put in a good word for you with Gomer and you’ll be havin’ a new steady beau before you know it. Goodbye.


Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Paperback and Kindle editions of The Daily Trope are available on Amazon under the title The Book of Tropes.

Apocope

Apocope (a-pok’-o-pe): Omitting a letter or syllable at the end of a word. A kind of metaplasm.

I’m goin’ to the movies. Are you comin’ along? I want to see the new movie about the zombies that run a used car lot in the desert outside LA. I think it’s goin’ to be a fantas’ film. They specialize in Hyundais. Most people who go there to buy a car never return. That’s what you’d expect! It is WHY they don’t return that you’d never expect.  Well are you comin’? We can take my Hyundai–the one with the blood on th’ back seat. Ha ha! Just kidding!

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Apocope

Apocope (a-pok’-o-pe): Omitting a letter or syllable at the end of a word. A kind of metaplasm.

Am I havin’ fun yet? Ha!  I’ve been tryin’ to win this goldfish for  about an hour. I think I tossed aroun’ a hundred ping-pong balls and spent around fifty dollars. If I win it, it’s goin’ to be the world’s most expensive goldfish ever.

Help me get out of here before I spend my daughter’s lunch money, my mortgage payment, and my car payment too! I’m out of control!

Take me home from the Fair!

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Apocope

Apocope (a-pok’-o-pe): Omitting a letter or syllable at the end of a word. A kind of metaplasm.

I’m goin’ to the supermarket right after lunch. Is there anythin’ I can get you?

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

 

Apocope

Apocope (a-pok’-o-pe): Omitting a letter or syllable at the end of a word. A kind of metaplasm.

Are you havin a laugh?

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Apocope

Apocope (a-pok’-o-pe): Omitting a letter or syllable at the end of a word. A kind of metaplasm.

Letter t omitted: He was an hon-es nuisance!

Final syllable cle omitted: He could bi-cy from here to outer space on that old ten-speed!

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).