Category Archives: paenismus

Paenismus

Paenismus (pai-nis’-mus): Expressing joy for blessings obtained or an evil avoided.


I am so lucky! I’ve been cheating on my taxes ever since I started paying them and I have never been audited. That’s thousands and thousands of dollars in my pocket that are not paying for battleships, or anything else the government wastes money on, like mental health counseling. If you’re crazy, no amount of therapy is going to make you sane— you can get pills from your doctor that will straighten you out. CVS has tons of pills and your insurance will help pay for them, so, why does the government need your money?

What’s that? Uh oh. It’s a letter from the IRS: “Dear Mr. Cobb, due to your failure to pay the correct amount of taxes for the past twenty-five years, the IRS is authorized to take your youngest child and put her to work at Roy Rogers Roast Beef until such time as the debt is paid. She will be housed at the IRS Boarding House with other teenagers who have been hopelessly corrupted by their tax dodging parents. We will pick up your daughter on March 25 at 7.00 am. Please have her packed and ready to go. In the event you can get your hands on $350,000 (what you owe us with interest and penalties), leave it in a suitcase on your front porch. We will ring your doorbell when we’ve picked it up. Thank you for being a US citizen. Yours truly, IRS.”

I knew it would just be a matter of time. I was surprised I only owe $350,000. I’ll be leaving it on the front porch.


Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Buy a print edition of The Daily Trope! The print edition is entitled The Book of Tropes and is available on Amazon for $9.99.

Paenismus

Paenismus (pai-nis’-mus): Expressing joy for blessings obtained or an evil avoided.


Wee haaa! Another sunny day! Let’s try to finish painting the house today.


Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Buy a print edition of The Daily Trope! The print edition is entitled The Book of Tropes and is available on Amazon for $9.99.

Paenismus

Paenismus (pai-nis’-mus): Expressing joy for blessings obtained or an evil avoided.

Let the blessings continue to flow, and may they carry on after the July 4 recess.

During the recess, may the Senators ponder the American Health Care Act of 2017, hold their wives and their children close and imagine what a pile 10,000 dead bodies will look like–10,000 deaths caused by their support of the American Health Care Act of 2017.

Let us pray that their visit home will soften their hearts so that they may vote against the American Health Care Act of 2017.

In so doing great evil will be avoided and a great blessing will be obtained.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Buy a print edition of The Daily Trope! The print edition is entitled The Book of Tropes and is available on Amazon for $9.99.

Paenismus

Paenismus (pai-nis’-mus): Expressing joy for blessings obtained or an evil avoided.

Hark! I bring tidings of comfort and joy!

My new underpants from Duluth Trading Post are all they’re ‘cracked’ up to be.

I walk in comfort. I sit in comfort. I stand in comfort. I live in comfort.

Oh the comfort and joy! No more binding or chafing.

These underpants are my salvation.

  • Post your own paenismus on the “Comments” page!

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Paenismus

Paenismus (pai-nis’-mus): Expressing joy for blessings obtained or an evil avoided.

Oh Botox! You maketh my brow to rise upward. You restoreth my visage. Yea, tho I walk in the shadow of the valley of wrinkles I feel pretty good.

  • Post your own paenismus on the “Comments” page!

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Paenismus

Paenismus (pai-nis’-mus): Expressing joy for blessings obtained or an evil avoided.

I am blessed: the drugstore is well-stocked with gallon-sized bottles of Malox. Now I’m ready to drink mint-flavored liquid chalk and ride out “Brinky Boehner and the Conserva-Nuts” cacophonus rendition of “Bye Bye American Pie.”

  • Post your own paenismus on the “Comments” page!

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Paenismus

Paenismus (pai-nis’-mus): Expressing joy for blessings obtained or an evil avoided.

I am so thankful that I made no moves in the stock market last week–I was ‘this close’ to selling! Close call!

  • Post your own paenismus on the “Comments” page!

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).