Aposiopesis (a-pos-i-o-pee’-sis): Breaking off suddenly in the middle of speaking, usually to portray being overcome with emotion.
I was so . . . so overcome by the beautiful sunset that I started crying—sobbing like a lonely hound dog—irritating the neighbors and prompting numerous phone calls to animal control. Finally the sun sank below the horizon and I shut up.
I was so embarrassed. It was supposed to be a romantic moment with my girlfriend.
I was having trouble with romantic moments. Just last night I had farted loudly as I proposed a toast to our lasting love. It smelled quite bad—so bad that we had to open the living room windows and air the place out.
Two weeks before my bed had collapsed when we were vigorously doing it together. Nobody was hurt, but it put an end to the activity. Not good.
The week before that, I made dinner. I had made a flambé cake for desert. I asked my girlfriend to “do the honors” and light it with my cigar lighter. She leaned down and flicked the lighter. The cake burst into flames and her hair caught on fire. I dumped a glass of wine on the blaze and put it out. It smelled bad, and it put a horrendous end to the romantic dinner.
Two months ago we were packing to go camping. I went to give her a hug and sprayed her with bear spray by accident. We had to go to the emergency room to get her eyes washed out.
I expect her to hand in her”I’m outta here” notice any day.
I think I’ve been jinxed, but I don’t know how to prove it. But actually, crying isn’t so bad. Maybe I’m out of the woods.
