Category Archives: anesis

Anesis

Anesis (an’-e-sis): Adding a concluding sentence that diminishes the effect of what has been said previously. The opposite of epitasis.


I work in the Cosmic Mirror Factory in Rabbit Drop, Pennsylvania. I think it reflects well on me, except for the horror I’ve experienced in front of the glass. You see, I’m a fog blower—I get one inch away from a newly made mirror and breathe on it, making a small circle of fog indicating the mirror’s viability. If it fogs, I draw a little smiley face in the fog. If it fails to fog, I smash it with a hammer and send the remnants back for recycling. I had to give up smoking to keep the job. My hacking cough kept me from blowing a stream of breath sufficient to fog the mirror. I was 6 months smoke free when it happened.

I was fog blowing a very large mirror that had been made for the lobby of a hotel in Doha. I couldn’t get it to fog and worried about smashing it, given what it had cost to make. I blew one more breath, hoping for it to fog, and it did! But the whole mirror fogged and the fog opened into portal. I stuck my hand into the portal and something grabbed me and pulled me in. When I got to the other side I looked in every direction, and it was a mirror everywhere I looked. But my reflection was not in any of the mirrors. I was invisible. “This is such a cliche,” I said aloud, voice trembling, “What am I, Alice in Wonderland?” The mirrored world briefly turned to clear glass and then it disappeared altogether leaving me in a log cabin on a ridge overlooking a beautiful valley with a wide river flowing through it. I was thirsty, so I hiked down to the river. I cupped my hands and dipped them in the river. Suddenly I was pulled into the river. I became a leaf. I was floating downriver. There was a centipede riding on me. He said his name was Sean and that he worked in a mirror factory in Edinburgh, Scotland and had been pulled through a mirror there 2 weeks ago, incarnating as a centipede when he got here. I was shocked. It was bad enough being some random leaf, but having a talking centipede riding me downriver was more than I could handle. At my first opportunity I would drown myself. Just then, we went over a waterfall at least fifty feet high. Sean fell off the leaf and the wind caught me and blew me ashore.

I awoke, soaking wet on the factory floor. I was holding a small wet maple leaf between my fingers. There was a wet guy standing over me wearing only a tattered kilt. “I’m Sean,” he said, “you saved my life. I hung onto you and let go when we drifted over the riverbank. Now, I’m going to rest under a rock for a few hours, and then, figure out how to get back to Scotland.” I sat there waiting for the next horror saga to hit. But it didn’t—it never did. I had the little maple leaf mounted in a glass shadow box and I keep it in plain view on my mantle. Given the hell I went trough and it’s role in saving me, it should’ve taught me a lesson, but I don’t know what the lesson is supposed to be. I still work for the Cosmic Mirror Factory as a fog blower, but I have vowed never to touch another mirror ever again. Sean has become an entomologist, specializing in the mating habits of centipedes.


Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.edu.byu)

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Anesis

Anesis (an’-e-sis): Adding a concluding sentence that diminishes the effect of what has been said previously. The opposite of epitasis.


Ted was smart, good looking and articulate, but he smelled like urine. If you got within 3 feet of him the smell was there—like he was wearing a public restroom instead of underpants, or he just came from visiting a nursing home. Yet, somehow he managed to live a more or less normal life. You see, the urine smell did not come from urine-soaked clothing, it was his “natural” body odor. He suffered from soma urinosis, an extremely rare disease that allows minute amounts of urine to seep through the pores of the skin in such small amounts that it does not produce moisture, just the odor of urine.

After high school, Ted gave up bathing in diluted Old Spice aftershave and wearing a Canoe cologne wick in his underpants. This took courage. Everybody respected him for accepting his natural smell. He started going on Hinge looking for a mate. He wrote: “Wanted. Loving woman who smells like urine.” The responses he got were disheartening—angry women who called him a pervert, and perverted women who liked being wet on. But, he persisted. Then it happened. A message hit his inbox: “My name is Bettina and I smell like urine. I suffer from soma urinosis, do you?

Eureka! Ted dashed off an answer: “Yes!”

One day later, Ted and Bettina met outside in a public park, immediately fell in love and were married outdoors in the same park 2 months later. Ted kept working at Pine Tree Air Freshener Company and Bettina took a job at Mennen Company. They pursued PhDs in biology and chemical engineering, respectively. It was rough holding down full time jobs and pursing PhDs at the same time, but they persevered and succeeded, and landed research fellowships at MIT.

To make a long story short, working together Ted and Bettina discovered a cure for soma urinosis. They were too old for it to work on them, but it worked perfectly on their baby, Nell. Now, they live in a lovely old home in Boston with a special ventilation system they created, and manufacture, earning them millions.

Next time you hear somebody say “that stinks” think of Ted and Bettina and their angelic daughter and the heights of fame and fortune they achieved.


Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.edu.byu)

Buy a print edition of The Daily Trope! The print edition is entitled The Book of Tropes and is available on Amazon for $9.99.

Anesis

Anesis (an’-e-sis): Adding a concluding sentence that diminishes the effect of what has been said previously. The opposite of epitasis.


You are beautiful, smart, and funny and your breath smells like dead rats. I’m sorry for saying that, but you need to know why I start to gag when you get closer than 3 feet. If we go and see my dental hygienist, I think we can make the smell go away. It could be hopeless though.


Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.edu.byu)

Buy a print edition of The Daily Trope! The print edition is entitled The Book of Tropes and is available on Amazon for $9.99.

Anesis

Anesis (an’-e-sis): Adding a concluding sentence that diminishes the effect of what has been said previously. The opposite of epitasis.

Your dog is beautiful, but don’t you get tired of picking up his shit and bagging it every time you go for a walk?

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.edu.byu)

Buy a print edition of The Daily Trope! The print edition is entitled The Book of Tropes and is available on Amazon for $9.99.

Anesis

Anesis (an’-e-sis): Adding a concluding sentence that diminishes the effect of what has been said previously. The opposite of epitasis.

You have an amazing collection of handbags. Nearly every brand–none of them hardly used at all. So many colors, textures and materials–from formal to informal and everything in between! It must’ve taken you a decade to pull it together.

But

It’s a shame that you don’t have anything made in USA. I don’t care what the rationale may be: it’s a huge gap that diminishes the value of your entire collection.

You better get out there and find some representative handbags that are made in the USA. It shouldn’t be much of a challenge–that’s part of the reason why their absence yells “incomplete collection.”

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.edu.byu)

Buy a print edition of The Daily Trope! The print edition is entitled The Book of Tropes and is available on Amazon for $9.99.

Anesis

Anesis (an’-e-sis): Adding a concluding sentence that diminishes the effect of what has been said previously. The opposite of epitasis.

Kim Jong-un loves basketball and went to school in Switzerland.  Not only that, his mother’s an opera singer, he’s building the Masik Pass Ski Resort, and he enjoys riding roller coasters and watching 4D movies  at Rungna People’s Amusement Park.

Oh, one other thing, he’s also a ruthless dictator who runs a totalitarian state, purges political rivals, and executes them.  Most recently, his Uncle Chang Song-thaek, AKA “Despicable Human Scum.”

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.edu.byu)

 

Anesis

Anesis (an’-e-sis): Adding a concluding sentence that diminishes the effect of what has been said previously. The opposite of epitasis.

My little doggy is cute, affectionate, and obedient.  That said, he smells like a polluted mud flat at low tide on a hot afternoon.

  • Post your own anesis on the “Comments” page!

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.edu.byu)

Anesis

Anesis (an’-e-sis): Adding a concluding sentence that diminishes the effect of what has been said previously. The opposite of epitasis.

He was smart, funny, and generally open to new ideas.  However, his temper was off the charts.

  • Post your own anesis on the “Comments” page!

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.edu.byu)