Distinctio (dis-tinc’-ti-o): Eliminating ambiguity surrounding a word by explicitly specifying each of its distinct meanings.
“Ouch” can register physical pan. It can also register emotional pain, little known is ts use to register surprise, as when you step on a big fat snake and it coils around your leg, looking at your eyes as it flicks its tongue and tightens its grip. As your leg swells and you start to feel dizzy, you may say “Ouch” even though there’s no pain.
The snake has got you. It was foolish to go hiking alone in tFlorida Everglades. Year after year people dump their exotic pets out their car window, or lave them by the side of the road: from Malaysian Bang Lang snakes (like one you’re wearing on your leg), to Spitting Weevils that can blind you with their beautiful sky-blue saliva.
By the way, I’m an omniscient narrator, so I’m not really here.
So, how do you get the snake off your leg? Just keep yelling “Help!” Eventually, a Park Ranger will show up and free you. Oh, it’s getting dark. Rangers usually go home at dark. What does that mean for you. Yes, nearly certain death. But, when the snake tries to eat you, he’s going to discover you’re too big for him to handle. You will have died from the tourniquet effect of the snake’s strangle hold. But don’t despair! An alligator is sure to drag your expired body off and feed on you somewhere nearby.
Oh! Do you hear that Rager calling for you? You are saved!
The Ranger found the man unconscious, laying on his back, with the snake strangling his leg. He pulled out his Ranger knife and cut the snake in half. he took the two bloody halves of the snake and swung them around his head laughing maniacally. The man regained consciousness and the Ranger started acting normally again.
They trekked out of the swamp to where the man had parked his car and the Ranger had parked his Jeep. The went their separate ways and the man never thanked the Ranger for saving his life. This bothered the Ranger—people always thanked him for helping out, from finding children’s toys, to saving somebody’s life like he had done today. The Ranger vowed, if he saw the man ever again, he’d make him say “Ouch.” Lo and behold! He saw him the next day. He was with his family. They walked along a bit together and came to a giant fire ant mound. The Ranger warned everybody. The man scoffed and ran to the mound and hugged it. He was swarmed by hundreds of fire ants stinging him into oblivion. He was writhing on the ground yelling “You didn’t warn me!” The Ranger looked at the man’s wife and shrugged his shoulders, called 911, and left.
Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)
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