Category Archives: simile

Simile

Simile (si’-mi-lee): An explicit comparison, often (but not necessarily) employing “like” or “as.”


Sarah was like a noisy go-kart stuck on a slow track at the mall. Around and around we went, and we never got anywhere, and she wouldn’t shut up. I felt like a beaver with dentures, but I didn’t complain: I couldn’t complain. I was grateful to have somebody who, in my opinion, was beautiful: long blond hair, blue eyes, classic hourglass shape, the whole nine yards. However, she was the stupidest person I’ve ever known. Her brain was like a walnut. She was as articulate as a bathtub. She had the taste of a cockroach. Having a job was, to her, like having cancer.

So, why did I love her? Two reasons. (1) Her parents are filthy crazy rich; (2) She is the most trusting, giving, faithful, caring, gentle, loving human being I have ever known.

We’ll get somewhere someday. We’ll be like two pelicans pumping our wings over the Gulf of Mexico, heading to Cancun or maybe Corpus Christi. Our pelican bills will be filled with money. Our pelican hearts will be filled with joy.

Oh, a text message from Sarah: “I am like a smart shopper. I am returning you.”

I texted: “What the hell did that mean? Return me? Return me where?”

She texted me: “The bar where I found you.”

I threw my phone on the floor. It popped in half, just like me and Sarah.


Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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Simile

Simile (si’-mi-lee): An explicit comparison, often (but not necessarily) employing “like” or “as.”


My preferred character is projected by my speech. It’s like a currently popular catchphrase or a buzz word: I want to utilize incentivization to maximize our leverage in the upcoming negotiations. Ha ha! That’s me! Smart! With it! Learned!

I am constantly masking my rough origins and basic dishonesty with Latinized words. In a way, I am like a brick painted with elaborate images that will eventually be hurled through somebody’s window.


Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Buy a print edition of The Daily Trope! The print edition is entitled The Book of Tropes and is available on Amazon for $9.99. There is also a Kindle edition available.

Simile

Simile (si’-mi-lee): An explicit comparison, often (but not necessarily) employing “like” or “as.”

Trump is like a talking fart.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

 

Simile

Simile (si’-mi-lee): An explicit comparison, often (but not necessarily) employing “like” or “as.”

Your breath smells like the River Styx.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Buy a print edition of The Daily Trope! The print edition is entitled The Book of Tropes and is available on Amazon for $9.99.

Simile

Simile (si’-mi-lee): An explicit comparison, often (but not necessarily) employing “like” or “as.”

Higher education in the 21st century at many colleges and universities does not successfully prepare its so-called liberally educated students to negotiate life’s vicissitudes; to negotiate uncertainties and strife with humane voices speaking in the light. Rather, from the “safe spaces” where they reside, they learn how to “take offense,” and how to willy nilly level charges that are always taken seriously, and always will be heard.

Like latter-day nazis, like blood-hungry wolves, they have forged their brutish howling voices into pointed blades of fear, turning “judicial hearings” into monologues where cowering judges have only to decide how, and how much, to punish whomever “some students” may anonymously deride.

Somewhere, this is the culture of academic residential life, where there are no consequences for telling lies. In this community of Kafka houses after every trial, when the gavel grants another win to their revengeful pride, “some students” have been known laugh out loud, smoke a joint, drink a couple of drinks, and piss on the wall of the stone prophylactic euphemistically called “residence hall.”

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Simile

Simile (si’-mi-lee): An explicit comparison, often (but not necessarily) employing “like” or “as.”

We keep calling it a debt ceiling, but it’s more like a trampoline.

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Simile

Simile (si’-mi-lee): An explicit comparison, often (but not necessarily) employing “like” or “as.”

That candidate’s position on unemployment is like a parking lot out in the middle of the desert: empty and useless.

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Simile

Simile (si’-mi-lee): An explicit comparison, often (but not necessarily) employing “like” or “as.”

Truth is like an endless tube of toothpaste–the more you squeeze it, the more you get out of it.

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Simile

Simile (si’-mi-lee): An explicit comparison, often (but not necessarily) employing “like” or “as.”

He was so closed-minded that trying to get him to change his mind was like trying to push an armored car up a hill with a lawn tractor.

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).