Category Archives: orcos

Orcos

Orcos (or’-kos): Swearing that a statement is true.

Republican Senator Brickbrain: Esteemed Chairman, how many times would a woodchuck lie if the woodchuck could get away with it?

Republican Senator Fornicator: 25-30 times a day, unless this is a poetic allusion to the accused.

Republican Senator Brickbrain: Precisely. He is not a woodchuck. He is the President of the United States, and woodchucks can’t even talk, let alone lie!

Democrat Senator Willy-nilly: We have arrived in Wonderland.

Republican Senator Brickbrain: Yes. Yes. I  can vouch for that–absolutely true, and that’s the absolute truth. I am telling the truth, I swear.

Republican Senator Fornicator: Ok then. Let’s vote. All in favor of letting him off the hook for purely political reasons, say “Aye.” Ooh what do I hear? The ayes have it it.

Democrat Senator Willy-nilly: What about the nays?

Republican Senator Brickbrain: Nay to that!  Ha! Ha!

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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Orcos

Orcos (or’-kos): Swearing that a statement is true.

Senator Lunar: How many Russians can dance on the Head of the FBI?

Government Witless: Probably 5 or 6. But, respectfully, I believe it is the head of a pin, not an actual head & that it is somehow a metaphysical meditation on the corporeality of Russians’ souls (if they have any in the first place).

Senator Veritas: You lie I cry!

Government Witless: I swear I am telling the truth so far as Senator Lunar’s more or less insane question begs me to.  By the way: Your mother is alive and well in Miami.

Senator Lunar: 5 or 6 Russians dancing on Comey’s head, eh? There is no bruising. I think you’re lying Witless.

Government Witless: Respectfully Senator Lunar, my answer is true insofar as it is consistent with a historical tradition of speculation on bodies and souls, not to mention angels and whether they’re pure spirit. Russians are a new twist on the commentary.

But I want to ask you: Why are you asking me this more or less (on the face of it) irrelevant, if not crazy, question?

Senator Lunar: My Life Coach Billy Ed Joseph Ronald Richards gave me the idea. He was giving an ‘inspiration’ on how to advance political agendas and one way is ‘dancing’ on the heads of opponents. So, if 5 or 6 Russians danced on Comey’s head, it could very well be the case that he was ‘brought around’ and colluded with the Russians.

Government Witless: Wow! That’s more bizarre than 12th century philosophy and theology combined!

Senator Lunar: I swear it’s true. I may have been there. That’s not ketchup on my loafers. Whoops!

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Buy a print edition of The Daily Trope! The print edition is entitled The Book of Tropes and is available on Amazon for $9.99.

Orcos

Orcos (or’-kos): Swearing that a statement is true.

X: Where is my red shirt?

RAY: I have no idea.

X: You lie you die!

RAY: I swear on my mother’s grave: I DO NOT KNOW.

X: Your mother is alive and well in Miami.

RAY: Well then, I swear on your mother’s grave.

X: That does it. Put up your hands. I’m taking you in.

RAY: Hello, 911? My roommate has flipped his widget–what’s that? His widget! It’s just a figure of speech, like flipping one’s wig, or flipping out.

Now, please send somebody over! He’s threatening me–he is pointing his cheap Chinese spatula at me. He’s waving it around. HURRY!

X: I see my shirt under the couch. Sorry.

RAY: Dumb ass.

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Orcos

Orcos (or’-kos): Swearing that a statement is true.

Z: I swear on a stack of bacon that I did not touch your grill.

X: What about my lawn tractor?

Z: I swear on a pile of mulch that I did not sit on your lawn tractor.

X: What about my hummingbird feeder?

Z: You got me! I poured red nectar on my pancakes and I feel like humming and building a tiny nest.

X: Hello, 911?

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Orcos

Orcos (or’-kos): Swearing that a statement is true.

I swear, I won’t release any more NSA secrets. I want to stay in Москва, drink Шуба, eat Шуба, and Барыня ты моя, сударыня ты моя all night long! Anyway, I’ve run out of clean socks and underwear, it’s too hot in Bolivia, and I miss my mommy.

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Orcos

Orcos (or’-kos): Swearing that a statement is true.

I stand by that document. What it says is true. I give you my word it is true–it is factual. But that’s not enough–find out for yourselves. Read what I read–the official statement of their policy–and draw your own conclusions.

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).