Proverb: One of several terms describing short, pithy sayings. Others include adage, apothegm, gnome, maxim, paroemia, and sententia.
When I was fourteen, I was scared, lonely, lacking in confidence, and a huge fan of Laurel and Hardy. They were on TV every Saturday morning. I watched all the reruns of their movies. I learned to do a perfect imitation of Stan saying, “I didn’t mean to do it Ollie.” My friends loved it, asking me to do it over and over again. It was amazing. But, then I’d go home for dinner and my woes would sink back in. My father would say, “You know, Bob, you’re pretty stupid.” My mother would say, “Oh Bobby, when will you amount to something? You’re like an albatross around our neck.” Then it was my sister Pamela’s turn: “You make me laugh. You’re the biggest loser I know—you don’t even try to win. Your motto should be ‘If at first I don’t succeed, I quit.”
I thought what she said about quitting was actually a little funny. It was a twist on the “try, try, again” proverb. I took my mother and father seriously. After dinner, after some TV, I’d brush my teeth and go to bed, hoping I might die in my sleep. But tonight, my sister’s insult had given me an idea. If I could memorize a lot of proverbs, my head would become full of life-saving wisdom that I could use as a foil to fight my negativity and seem smart at the same time.
My first proverb was “Happiness is a choice.” I got it off the internet. If happiness is a choice, it will be like choosing a piece of pie instead of a slice of cake! Watching “Laurel and Hardy” was the only thing that made me happy that I chose to do. Nothing else did. And also, I knew there was a difference between choosing to watch “Laurel and Hardy” and choosing to be happy. Happy about what? But, it didn’t matter. I could still quote the proverb to people and seem wise. Then, years later, a song came out titled “Don’t worry, be happy.” I first heard it disembarking through a jetway at Schiphol Airport in Amsterdam. The song made me happy, even with jet lag.
After all my years fumbling around with proverbs and getting nowhere, I used my knowledge of Garage Band to compose “Wise Notes.” It was a collection of techno music pieces centering on proverbs. The first song I composed, which is still my favorite, is “A Watched Pot Never Boils.” When it was played in clubs, dancers would make a circle with their hands and stare at it with frustrated looks on their faces. There’s also “Birds of a Feather Flock Together.” The sound track is full of bird songs, punctuated by a chicken clucking and electric bongo drums. People would dance in a circle—flocking together. They would tuck their hands in their armpits and flap their bent arms like wings when the chicken clucked.
“Wise Notes” achieved world-wide acclaim. The new musical genre “Proverb Techno” began to ascend and its popularity motivated many established artists to write and record in the genre: Bruce Springsteen’s “If It Ain’t Broke, Don’t Fix It“ affected a whole generation of young men and women and set the tone for their attitude toward repair.
Now, all that I wish is to be able to live in accord with proverbs, especially the ones I’ve exploited in my music to makes millions and millions of dollars. They all provide good advice, but I dwell on their other side, like I live in their shadow. At best they are aspirational, at worst they mock me. As they say, “A Drowning Man Will Clutch at a Straw.” Proverbs are my straw.
Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)
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