Systrophe

Systrophe (si’-stro-fee): The listing of many qualities or descriptions of someone or something, without providing an explicit definition.

Tall, smart, blue eyes, obvious meat eater, freckles, tattooed, big boobs. I’m wondering now why I didn’t list her boobs first? Usually, with women, I don’t look at anything else. Also, I haven’t even listed her ass yet. That’s always number two. Maybe I’m just getting old—losing my mating verve. But, there’s something about her though that thwarted the order of my listing of her characteristics.

What could be drying up my hormones? I’m 29 so that shouldn’t be happening yet. Maybe I’ve got Alzheimer’s or dementia. No—can’t be. Again, I’m too young. When she smiled at me yesterday I almost shit my pants. I work behind the counter at MacDonald’s. It is impossible to screw up an order, but I screwed up hers. I was so dazzled I told her to go to a table and I’d be there in a couple of minutes with her order. I put the tray down too close to the edge of the table and it spilled all over her lap—Big Mac, large Coke, small fries. I apologized. She said “That’s alright—a wee mishap.” She spoke with a Scottish accent! I was smitten!

I wondered if I’d ever see her again. There she was! I tucked in my shirt, straightened my hat and tried to look my best. I said “Hi.” She said “Are ya goin tuh dump my food on me again?” I promised not to. She laughed and ordered a chocolate shake and that was it. I put the shake together and put it on her tray with a smile. She smiled back, paid, and found a seat.

I got off my shift about two minutes later. I went over to her table and asked her if I could sit with her for a little while. It was a bold move, but it worked. We talked and talked and ended up staying at the table for nearly two hours. I asked to the movies and she said yes. When she got up and turned around to pick up her purse, I got a good look at her ass. It was a dream ass. Big boobs and a dream ass, but she was way more than that. I might ask her to marry me! Ha ha!

Definitions courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu.

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