Category Archives: alleotheta

Alleotheta

Alleotheta (al-le-o-the’-ta): Substitution of one case, gender, mood, number, tense, or person for another. Synonymous with enallage. [Some rhetoricians claim that alleotheta is a] general category that includes antiptosis [(a type of enallage in which one grammatical case is substituted for another)] and all forms of enallage [(the substitution of grammatically different but semantically equivalent constructions)].


Her brain was fried; yesterday, tomorrow and today: last year, for all time. “You better shut up,” she said to the mirror “You better take a walk. No, I’m too tired. You will take a walk. We can go together. You will walk while I look around. Come on. Let’s go.” She started out the door, but it looked like somebody was pulling on her arm, keeping her from going out the door.

I asked her if she had taken her medication. “She wouldn’t let me. She likes me this way.” I reached into her purse and got her pills out. She took the prescribed dose and we sat and waited for it to take effect. You could see her disparate selves starting meld. Her face alternatively contorted and smiled, she hugged herself and slapped herself, she swore and quoted the Bible. Suddenly, she was whole—it was like magic. The medication would last six hours. I suggested we go for a walk downtown. It was spring and there were tulips, daffodils, and crocuses blooming all over the place. As we walked, I asked her how she had fried her brain. She replied, “In an iron skillet with chopped garlic and rosemary. Once done, sliced thin and made into a sandwich on freshly baked focaccia with the fried brain topped with roasted red peppers.” I knew it wasn’t true, but the description set off hunger pangs and made my mouth water. I was no Zombie, but I couldn’t get the recipe off my mind. I could smell it. I could taste it. Juicy. Garlicky. Medium rare. Brain!

We were in the cemetery looking at flowers. I hit her over the head with a large rock. I kept hitting her and hitting her until her skull cracked open wide enough to pull out her brain. I put her brain in my backpack and headed home. I was wild with desire to eat her brain. I stopped at Hannaford’s to pick up 5 cloves of garlic, a bunch of rosemary, a jar of roasted red peppers, and focaccia. They didn’t have focaccia, so I got a baguette.

I almost ran home. I got out my skillet, poured in a little olive oil (an innovation), and turned up the heat. I dropped in the brain and sprinkled on the rosemary. Then, there was a knock at the door. It was a nurse from the Home for the Seriously Agitated accompanied by a police officer. Evidently, she had a pass to visit me and had not returned to the Home. I said, “I’ll be right back” to the Nurse and headed for the back door, where another police office was waiting. When they chased me through the kitchen, they had seen the brain cooking on the stove. Trying to be funny in the face of a gruesome fact, the police officer said, “Now her brain really is fried!”

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

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Alleotheta

Alleotheta (al-le-o-the’-ta): Substitution of one case, gender, mood, number, tense, or person for another. Synonymous with enallage. [Some rhetoricians claim that alleotheta is a] general category that includes antiptosis [(a type of enallage in which one grammatical case is substituted for another)] and all forms of enallage [(the substitution of grammatically different but semantically equivalent constructions)].


I could be selling live butterflies last month. Who knows how that would work out? I don’t know because I wasn’t there. That is, I wasn’t at Bkekleville Farmer’s Market. I was banned for life for selling organic magic mushrooms grown on my little farm called “Little Farm” located on the outskirts of town. The other vendors and townspeople bought all the ‘shrooms I had and most of them brewed up a little tea and gulped it down. When I saw Mr. Compree run by naked with a carrot sticking out of his butt, I knew I was in trouble. But that was just the beginning. Mr. Riley had brought his tractor down for kids to climb on and have their pictures taken. Now, Mr. Riley was doing donuts with his tractor in the middle of the town square with a chicken on his head held in place with a bungee chord. Ms. Gangel, who sold goat’s milk ice cream, was trying to juggle 3 one-pint containers of vanilla “Big Meh” while she listened to something on her earbuds. Some villagers had some psychedelic tea too. One man was prancing in circles with his balled-up fists moving around under his T-shirt and saying “Look! They’re alive! They may be turtles!” I think the only guys not high were me and the Amish farmers from Pennsylvania who packed up a left when things started to get weird. The 60-something grandmother playing acoustic guitar in the square’s gazebo stood up, kicked off her Crocs and started singing Blue Oyster Cult’s “I’m burn’in for you” to the shy guy who was at least 20 years younger than her and sold organic honey near the gazebo. Blushing, he made it to the stage, squirted honey on her neck and started to lick it off. There was a group of around ten people standing silently in a circle with their arms stretched out toward the sky. It reminded me of Woodstock, but it wasn’t Woodstock. It was the Bkekleville Farmer’s Market and I had turned it into a hallucinating fracas—an ensemble of space rangers floating through the Shroomasphere. Thank God nobody was hurt and I wasn’t arrested (the Chief of police was too embarrassed to press charges), but I had to plow under my mushrooms (even though they would keep coming back), and get a haircut. I want to be readmitted to the Farmer’s Market. In anticipation, I’ve planted two acres of tomatoes, Bella Donna, and yellow squash.


Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

Buy a print edition of The Daily Trope! The print edition is entitled The Book of Tropes and is available on Amazon for $9.99.

Alleotheta

Alleotheta (al-le-o-the’-ta): Substitution of one case, gender, mood, number, tense, or person for another. Synonymous with enallage. [Some rhetoricians claim that alleotheta is a] general category that includes antiptosis [(a type of enallage in which one grammatical case is substituted for another)] and all forms of enallage [(the substitution of grammatically different but semantically equivalent constructions)].


The car was Donna’s. I could tell by the make and model, but also by them bumper stickers—“Eat More Cottage Cheese” and “Support Your Local Clown” and “No Swearing Allowed in Heaven. You Better Stop Swearing Now.”

She always told each of her friends to bring gas money if they wanted to ride with her. But here it was in the middle of the night —parked by the roadside—9:00 pm to be exact. I never would’ve seen it if I weren’t headed for Vegas. I had taken out a home equity line of credit for $20,000 and I was on my way to make it into $200,000 playing poker at the Flamingo Casino. I had bought a system on the internet that guaranteed a winning hand every time. I was ready to rip!

But now, I was flipping out. Donna was out there somewhere, walking around the desert. Then I heard a voice cry out: “Hey you got a tissue?” It was Donna! She was peeking over the hood of her car. “I had to take a wicked leak, and remembered I didn’t have any wipes in my car until it was too late. You’re a Godsend Nicky.” Lucky for Donna I had an unopened pack of Kleenex in my truck. I got them and handed them to her while she hunched behind her car.

The luck of crossing paths with Donna was overwhelming. I felt like it was a message from above. I had loved her since middle school, but she didn’t love me. We had kissed once, but that was it. Over the years, I’ve counted her boyfriends—27 to be exact. Maybe out here on this lonely highway, I might have a chance to try again. I grabbed her and held her close. She screamed and hit me in the face with her cellphone. My cheek was bleeding and I tried to apologize, but she jumped in her car and drove away, tires screeching.

I got to the casino around 11:00 pm. My cheek had scabbed up, but my ego was still bleeding. I decided to play keno instead of poker. By 4:00 am I won $40,000. I was ready to pack it in when I saw Donna! She was walking toward me smiling. She was holding my pack of Kleenex. “These are yours Nicky” she said as she held them out to me. “Yeah, thanks” I said as I took them and stuffed them in my back pocket. “I’m glad you stopped bleeding” she said. “Yeah” I said. “Let’s get a room” she said. I said “Really?” Donna said “Yes.” So we did.

We spent three nights at the Flamingo. I won $240,000.00. We were married on the third day at the Chapel of the Bells. That was ten years ago. And to think, I actually considered murdering Donna after she hit me in the face with her cellphone.


Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

Buy a print edition of The Daily Trope! The print edition is entitled The Book of Tropes and is available on Amazon for $9.99.

Alleotheta

Alleotheta (al-le-o-the’-ta): Substitution of one case, gender, mood, number, tense, or person for another. Synonymous with enallage. [Some rhetoricians claim that alleotheta is a] general category that includes antiptosis [(a type of enallage in which one grammatical case is substituted for another)] and all forms of enallage [(the substitution of grammatically different but semantically equivalent constructions)].


We was goin’ to hell faster ‘n anybody could ever think. Stick up men, we having what we want for taking it—pull her out of the cash register, shoot the clerk, and drive off. GPS says there’s a gas station up ahead. Better lock and load Johnny. We need a fill up.


Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

Buy a print edition of The Daily Trope! The print edition is entitled The Book of Tropes and is available on Amazon for $9.99.

Alleotheta

Alleotheta (al-le-o-the’-ta): Substitution of one case, gender, mood, number, tense, or person for another. Synonymous with enallage. [Some rhetoricians claim that alleotheta is a] general category that includes antiptosis [(a type of enallage in which one grammatical case is substituted for another)] and all forms of enallage [(the substitution of grammatically different but semantically equivalent constructions)].

You was the craziest person I ever knew. Where there was lots of herd, you dove right in. You was a rustler’s rustler. You taken everything in sight worth taking–as long as it mooed and look at you with those solemn brown eyes. You would make them cows a pets–all of them–if we didn’t have to make a living the hard way.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

Buy a print edition of The Daily Trope! The print edition is entitled The Book of Tropes and is available on Amazon for $9.99.

Alleotheta

Alleotheta (al-le-o-the’-ta): Substitution of one case, gender, mood, number, tense, or person for another. Synonymous with enallage. [Some rhetoricians claim that alleotheta is a] general category that includes antiptosis [(a type of enallage in which one grammatical case is substituted for another)] and all forms of enallage [(the substitution of grammatically different but semantically equivalent constructions)].

We was looking for the dead end at the end of the dead end street–the street marked with a yellow diamond-shape sign that said “Dead End.”

Why?

We had some loot we need to hide & figure that the end of a dead end street would be a good place. Vacant with lots of bushes!

Unfortunately, we drive to the end of the dead end & it isn’t dead! It’s a cul-de-sac with a few houses with porch lights on.

No good for loot-hiding–but we see one house with no lights on. Hmmm–should we ‘visit’ it? We decide ‘no’ and drive away.

After some conversation, we decide to hide the loot in my garage underneath my ride mower. Lawn mowing season is still 2 months away: the stuff will be safe & I’ll check it every once-in-a-while.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

Buy a print edition of The Daily Trope! The print edition is entitled The Book of Tropes and is available on Amazon for $9.99.

Alleotheta

Buy a print version of The Daily Trope! The print version is titled The Book of Tropes and is available on Amazon for $9.99 (or less).


Alleotheta (al-le-o-the’-ta): Substitution of one case, gender, mood, number, tense, or person for another. Synonymous with enallage. [Some rhetoricians claim that alleotheta is a] general category that includes antiptosis [(a type of enallage in which one grammatical case is substituted for another)] and all forms of enallage [(the substitution of grammatically different but semantically equivalent constructions)].

I’m at I.H.O.P. enjoying a pile of pancakes covered with chocolate ice-cream, Reese’s Pieces, and blueberry-flavored maple syrup when a guy walks in the door dressed in sweatpants, flip-flops, and and a t-shirt with a picture of Moe from the Three Stooges on it.

He started waving a napkin and yelling “I surrender, I surrender.”

I pick up my napkin and stand up and yell, “I surrender too!”

Next, everybody in the place follows our lead!

I sat down on my pancakes and then run out the door.

I hear sirens coming and breaking china from inside.

I pass out. I wake up. I am a pancake. Destitute. No butter. No Syrup. No nothing. Draped on the rim of a trashcan. Waiting for sundown and the roaches that will swarm on me.

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

Alleotheta

Alleotheta (al-le-o-the’-ta): Substitution of one case, gender, mood, number, tense, or person for another. Synonymous with enallage. [Some rhetoricians claim that alleotheta is a] general category that includes antiptosis [(a type of enallage in which one grammatical case is substituted for another)] and all forms of enallage [(the substitution of grammatically different but semantically equivalent constructions)].

I’m in the hosptial last year getting surgery when this guy in a white coat comes into my room and says: “Too bad about the foot.” I said, “What foot?” He says, “The one that’s going to foot the bill.”

I throw my water bottle at him.

Bam! Right in the head.

I yelled, “Foot that sucker” and hit the panic button by my bed.

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

Alleotheta

Alleotheta (al-le-o-the’-ta): Substitution of one case, gender, mood, number, tense, or person for another. Synonymous with enallage. [Some rhetoricians claim that alleotheta is a] general category that includes antiptosis [(a type of enallage in which one grammatical case is substituted for another)] and all forms of enallage [(the substitution of grammatically different but semantically equivalent constructions)].

What is you? What is me? What is we? When my plane takes off tomorrow we is gone, and we is free. So long!

  • Post your own alleotheta on the “Comments” page!

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu). Bracketed text added by Gorgias.

Alleotheta

Alleotheta (al-le-o-the’-ta): Substitution of one case, gender, mood, number, tense, or person for another. Synonymous with enallage. [Some rhetoricians claim that alleotheta is a] general category that includes antiptosis [(a type of enallage in which one grammatical case is substituted for another)] and all forms of enallage [(the substitution of grammatically different but semantically equivalent constructions)].

Tomorrow you are leaving. Tomorrow, you are gone.

  • Post your own alleotheta on the “Comments” page!

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu). Bracketed text added by Gorgias.

Alleotheta

Alleotheta (al-le-o-the’-ta): Substitution of one case, gender, mood, number, tense, or person for another. Synonymous with enallage. [Some rhetoricians claim that alleotheta is a] general category that includes antiptosis [(a type of enallage in which one grammatical case is substituted for another)] and all forms of enallage [(the substitution of grammatically different but semantically equivalent constructions)].

The tree was hit by the car.  Or, did the tree hit the car? Ask an insurance adjuster–they know everything about accidents (and grammar too)!

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu). Bracketed text added by Gorgias.