Category Archives: syntheton

Syntheton

Syntheton (sin’-the-ton): When by convention two words are joined by a conjunction for emphasis.


“Good and plenty. Plenty good.” “Big and tall.” It’s all the same. It’s always the same: more, more, more. More is good until you get more frostbite or crap clogging up your toilet. It is the same old thing. You have to ask more of what? more plague? More famine? More worms in your belly? When I was a kid I kept asking for more ice cream. My parents gave it to me to shut me up. By the time I was four, I weighed 300 pounds. I was too big for a stroller, so my parents took me to the mall in a wheelbarrow. It was uncomfortable, but I liked going out. If there was something I really wanted, I would rock my wheelbarrow back and forth. Sometimes my father would get angry and flip me out of the wheelbarrow. He didn’t do that very often because he would have to get three or four people to hoist me back in my wheelbarrow. After Dad flipped me out one time, I rolled to the escalator, bounced down and got my pants caught. They had to shut down the escalator while the 911 rescue team freed me. I peed my pants and was very embarrassed.

Eventually, my parents sent me to a fat camp outside Pueblo, Mexico: “Hungry Dawn.” I was 18 so they thought I could handle it. First of all, the camp staff spoke only Spanish—the name of the camp was the only thing in English. They didn’t care that I could not understand anything they said. For example, when they said “si” I would start looking around for what I was supposed to see. They would laugh and go “Si, si, si” and point all over. But, with diet and exercise, I lost 150 pounds. I subsisted on water and lizards I pulled off the walls. The people running the camp were deeply impressed with my lizard-catching skills and would roast them for me. In crafts time, I made key rings out of the lizard’s skin and sold them to tourists who came to see the Aztec pyramids. I sold them for $10.00 each and made enough money to bribe my way out of “Hungry Dawn.”

I took a bus to Mexico City, and then flew home to Scranton, PA. I got home around 2:00 am. The front door was locked, so I knocked on it. Some big guy in his underwear pointed a shotgun at me and asked what the hell I wanted. I checked the address—it was the right address. My parents had abandoned me. I apologized and took an Uber to the homeless shelter. The driver told me she had just broken up with her boyfriend and needed somebody to fill in. I told her I would be happy to substitute for him. She asked me if there was anything I needed from Cliff’s. “Yes,” I said, “3 or 4 gallons of ‘Carmel Curl’ ice cream.“


Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

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Syntheton

Syntheton (sin’-the-ton): When by convention two words are joined by a conjunction for emphasis.


“Love and marriage go together like a horse and carriage.” This is a song lyric from the mid-twentieth century, when there were still a few horses and carriages around. People would actually know what the lyric meant. But here we are in the 21st century. What’s left that rhymes with marriage? What about: Love and marriage go together like croutons and borage. Or, love and marriage go together like grease and sausage. Or, love and marriage go together like stamps and mucilage.

The further I go with this line of thought, the worse I get. Given my experiences with love, I should shut up. But, there was Rosalie. She was the horse and the carriage. She was like a native-English speaking Melania Trump. She had the looks but she’d never modeled nude, and she had a brain that was beyond mine. She was an AI developer for Eagle Claw Enterprises. When I first met Rosalie, I thought AI had something to do with “indoor” something, like maybe “Agriculture Indoors.” When I found out it was “Artificial Intelligence” I wanted to get some—I had always been a little bit “slower” than my friends. Maybe, if I got enough AI, I could get really smart—like add and subtract without using my fingers or tie my shoes real fast.

Rosalie called me “Mac.” She said it was short for Macho. But, I heard her talking to some colleagues and she referred to me as “Mech” and they all laughed and pretended they were plugging something into the wall. I wanted to know what Rosalie was up to. I got a job as a janitor at Eagle Claw Enterprises. I wore a big black beard so nobody would recognize me—especially Rosalie. The first thing I noticed was a group of hula-dancing hot dogs. They were wearing grass skirts and had flexible toothpick arms and were wearing dark glasses. Wouldn’t you know it? The were dancing to Don Ho’s “Tiny Bubbles.”

I heard Rosalie call my name. She followed that with “You idiot. Take off that stupid beard and leave the little Hula Dogs alone!” She told me she wanted to make me smarter so we could get married and live happily ever after. I would be the culmination of her AI project. We went to her lab. She stuck me with hundreds of colored wires. It took five hours. Then, she flipped five toggle switches, one after another. She told me the process would take another five hours. The feeling was wonderful. It felt like a heated feather duster brushing across my exposed skin.

When the process was completed, Rosalie pulled out all the wires and asked me how much 2+2 is. I said “four” without using my fingers. while I was calculating. We rejoiced and we went home and opened a bottle of champagne. I was smarter. Rosalie asked me if I wanted take out for dinner. I laughed and asked “Why would I want to take something out for dinner? I think I would rather be taking something in for dinner.” Rosalie cried “Oh my God!!” and we ordered take in from Tokyo Corn Dogs.


Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Buy a print edition of The Daily Trope! The print edition is entitled The Book of Tropes and is available on Amazon for $9.99.

Syntheton

Syntheton (sin’-the-ton): When by convention two words are joined by a conjunction for emphasis.


Peanut butter and jelly. Perhaps our first lesson in taking delight in the melding of unlike things—we see and taste the compounded edibles juxtaposed on two slices of bread—making a sandwich—a handwhich holding the potentially conflicted elements in a baked vise tightened by our fingertips as we pull out little semicircles following the curvature of our chomping teeth, then swallowing the mashed up mess, and maybe taking a gulp of milk to speed it down our throat.

You can choose what to slap on a sandwich. Whatever lands there, for better and for worse, is held there in your grip. In a way it’s like a belief—you hold it and it projects a future, but you don’t know how it’s going to work out—until you take it up, bite it, and chew it, and swallow it: until you eat it.


But all prepared food, except grilled meat, fowl, and fish, is a mixture—a mixture that is calibrated to the measure of the tongue and the gradual development of taste. Taste: a compelling inducement—maybe the most compelling inducement. The palate is a powerful competitor for truth’s clear gruel-like substance. Truth’s lack of flair, it’s flavorless presentation, it’s nearly invisible presence, has set it above taste in cultures that devalue desire and it’s earthly foundation, even if it may fail to influence anybody to do what’s right or good. But, truth can be put into a sandwich—a sloppy, dripping, tomato-laden, mayonnaise-soaked sandwich. Yum! The truth can taste good when it’s surrounded by condiments. Even baloney can help make the truth effective when it’s smeared with the right kind of mustard.! And perhaps, served with a slice of cheese on freshly baked rye bread.

A Parable of Desire

Once there was a man who loved Subway Sandwiches. He had eaten every sandwich Subway makes and became wise. If he had a decision to make, he would look at the Subway Menu, and remember each sandwich’s effect. One day, he had a particularly difficult decision to make. He had never been circumcised. His girlfriend was pressuring him to have his tip snipped even though he had just turned thirty. He had been studying his wrinkled Subway menu for hours, looking for a sandwich that would help him decide what to do. His eye fell on the Tuna sandwich: “Bite into it, and experience flavour that’s as fresh as an ocean breeze. Submerge yourself in its waves of unique taste!” He thought: “That’s it! I must free myself from staid misconceptions and leap into a new me as a circumcised man, with a fresh loaf of love! My girlfriend will hold me in higher esteem and will court my hooter in an attitude of total desire. Thank you Subway!”

Well, there we have it. For the man in the parable, happiness is a warm bun, packed with tuna salad. It is important to note that palates are as diverse as there are tastebuds. One man’s tuna is another man’s snot. So, you’ve got to discover the non-destructive desires that drive you ahead—the things you like that like you. When I’m in trouble and I need direction, I eat two or three brain-scarring jalapeños. I wear gloves and have a lot of water by my side. When I’m half-blinded and feel like I have a nuclear reactor melting down in my throat, the answer inevitably comes to me in the form of crying and running out the front door yelling “¡eureka!”

So, nobody’s perfect. If you can remember that, you have a chance.


Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Buy a print edition of The Daily Trope! The print edition is entitled The Book of Tropes and is available on Amazon for $9.99.

Syntheton

Syntheton (sin’-the-ton): When by convention two words are joined by a conjunction for emphasis.


Up and down. Off and on. Good and evil. Permanence and change. These dialectically situated markers denote the imbalanced trajectories of our lives. We wander back and forth along the limits of their otherness. Sometime for desired purposes. Sometimes by accident. Sometimes by necessity. Psychically, we may fluctuate between up and down, possibly taking medication to pin us to the middle (wherever that is). Physically, the fluctuation may depend on the terrain, as we climb and descend, take off and land.

Off and on: flip the switch due to a desire for light; off the platform, onto the train; off the record, on the record, off the deep end. The tensions involve timing and anxieties over disclosures and unwarranted excesses. Maybe I’m just off my rocker.

Good and evil: Ha ha! Can we get beyond them like Nietzsche asks? That’s all I have to say here, except all they have as markers of these two extremes are paradigm cases, particular instances bearing the weight of their idea as in Nazis and Jesus.

Permanence and change: things are permanently changing. That’s everything, but in infinite ways. The worship of permanence is the greatest and most destructive activity that humans may perform. It leads to apathy, slavery, and an obsession with worship and its means. It marginalizes coping as a fundamental life skill and subordinates everything to rites and rituals as displays of truth’s penetration into suppliants’ forged souls. Change is the harbinger of creativity and the foundation of one’s humanity, allowing for, and tolerating, the cacophony of human existence—the uniqueness of each of us circumscribed by similar exigences—the common experience, the disparate responses that need to be bridged to work collectively— to accomplish the greatest things; the things we cannot do alone: this is persuasion’s work: to build bridges connecting hope and fear, perpetuating persuasion in a spirit of love, the only thing worth retrieving from Permanence’s graveyard and resuscitating in service of persuasion: love.

Listen to public speech. If it lacks a loving tenor you must reject it, but first, you must learn what love is. I think the Apostle Paul can help, in 1 Corinthians 13.


Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Buy a print edition of The Daily Trope! The print edition is entitled The Book of Tropes and is available on Amazon for $9.99.

Syntheton

Syntheton (sin’-the-ton): When by convention two words are joined by a conjunction for emphasis.


Hopes and dreams can frame a healthy attitude toward the future—but realize, your hopes may be somebody else’s fears, and your dreams, their nightmares. Proceed accordingly.


Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Buy a print edition of The Daily Trope! The print edition is entitled The Book of Tropes and is available on Amazon for $9.99.

Syntheton

Syntheton (sin’-the-ton): When by convention two words are joined by a conjunction for emphasis.

Life and death

Hope and fear

Winning and losing

Words have their opposites creating trajectories from one to the other, from the other to the other in dialectical repetitions, in circles unbroken by time, in bent lines.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Buy a print edition of The Daily Trope! The print edition is entitled The Book of Tropes and is available on Amazon for $9.99.

Syntheton

Syntheton (sin’-the-ton): When by convention two words are joined by a conjunction for emphasis.

Brownies and ice cream!

Bacon and eggs!

This food and that food, if they belong together, they belong together!

Brownies and ice cream–yum!

Bacon and eggs–yum!

Yum. Yum. Yum. Yum.

They belong together!

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Buy a print edition of The Daily Trope! The print edition is entitled The Book of Tropes and is available on Amazon for $9.99.

Syntheton

Syntheton (sin’-the-ton): When by convention two words are joined by a conjunction for emphasis.

Eggs and bacon

United on a plate.

White and yellow embryos and strips of pinkish flesh.

Break the yolk and bathe the pork in what could have been a bird.

“Isn’t breakfast lovely?”

“Isn’t this weather is absurd?”

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Syntheton

Syntheton (sin’-the-ton): When by convention two words are joined by a conjunction for emphasis.

Fire and ice.

Together, we turn to smoking slush.

And then become an ashen paste.

Melted and extinguished by each other’s embrace.

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Syntheton

Syntheton (sin’-the-ton): When by convention two words are joined by a conjunction for emphasis.

Time and effort. Truth and justice. Nothing worth doing or having comes easy. Let’s remember this as we move ahead to make a better future.

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).