Apocope (a-pok’-o-pe): Omitting a letter or syllable at the end of a word. A kind of metaplasm.

Dad: You’re goin’ to school whether you like it or not! You’re gettin’ a education if I have to kill you, you little bugger. George Washington, the father of our country, went to school and wrote his notes with a piece a cow poop on the back of a fryin’ pan. There’s plenty of poop from Woopow aroun’ the yard you could use, and grandma even gave you her old pen from 4th grade. All you need to do is dip it in ink and it’s ready to go, you little malingerer.

Why won’t you go to school son? It can’t be that hard. I made it to 7th grade an’ it was a breeze. I took woodshop, home economics, and trigonometry in my last semester.

Son: There’s a bully who picks on me because we moved here from New York. He calls me “City Slicker,” “Crime Boss,” and “Yankee” and pushes me down on the playground.

Dad: Son, you know we moved down here to build a new branch of the family business. I know it’s been hard on you—all these people coming over here day and night, my sore knuckles, and the pile of credit cards on the dining room table.

Let’s do this: Tell me the bully’s name and he’ll never bully you again.

Son: Gee Dad—you’re the best. Can you, me, and Mom go out for a ice cream?

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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