Apoplanesis (a-po-plan’-e-sis): Promising to address the issue but effectively dodging it through a digression.
Why did I do that—why did I sell our car? Nothing’s good enough for you—my job as a meat washer at the packing plant, my size 14 feet, my chronic cough, my incontinence, my teddy bear. Should I keep going? Ok—my electric trains, my mother, my vacuum cleaner collection: if it’s mine or me it sucks. If it’s you or yours, we can hear angels singing hallelujah, or hosanna or whatever the hell they sing when they witness perfection. But hey, let me point out, you’ve got bad breath and you’re a slob: I keep my basement room spotless and tidy, but your upstairs bedroom looks like it got hit by a tornado.
Oh well. See you later. I’m WALKING to Mel’s Market. I’m going to pick up a can of Drano, and some oatmeal. Do you need anything?
Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).
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