Prodiorthosis (pro-di-or-tho’-sis): A statement intended to prepare one’s audience for something shocking or offensive. An extreme example of protherapeia.
If you’re squeamish, you better leave. Euphemism is for pussies. Avoiding the truth just because it’s gruesome is taking a ride in the wuss-mobile. Better you should know the truth in its whole conspectus, not through the tiny peephole fear that keeps you from actually KNOWING THE TRUTH.
Ok. I’m pulling no punches. I’m not sugar coating it. The curtain is up. The lights are on. Visibility is unlimited.
When he fell his head was pulled off by the crotch of the tree he was landed in. His brain was pulled out through his throat like a sponge pulled from the ocean floor. His tongue was sticking out like a big fat bloody sausage—drip, drip, drip, still quivering a bit. His eyes popped out of their sockets from the impact. They dangled on his cheeks like little pendulums, or one of those little pinkie balls mounted on a rubber band that you hit with a paddle. His jaw was broken, hanging like a hinge that had become unmounted, lying close to his throat. His nose was missing, torn off by the tree’s crotch. His ribs were crushed—sticking out of his shirt, where blood was still dripping. The tree’s rough bark had torn his gut wide open. His organs were strewn on the ground. You could see his liver hanging from a tree branch, dripping bile. His intestines were stretched out like a ghoul’s jump rope, beginning to stink in the summer heat of the Florida Everglades.
This man was an idiot. He did not think ahead. He failed to navigate life’s vicissitudes with well-considered plans. He would just jump, and that’s what he did here. He put his parachute on upside down. It went undetected during the pre-jump equipment check. The skydiving school “Down to Earth” was notoriously lax on safety. But, he should’ve known the difference between right up and upside down. He was an idiot. His colleagues were idiots. “Down Earth” is an ensemble of idiots.
You are not idiots. You have steerable parachutes. Use that function to steer away from trouble.
Sound off for equipment check & mean it goddamnit.
The Daily Trope 