Tag Archives: Donald Trump

Merismus

Merismus (mer-is’-mus): The dividing of a whole into its parts.

Donald Trump is one part showman, one part showman, and one part showman.

He’s all showman!

Right now, I’m enjoying the DT show: it’s a fun-filled comedy with wonderful supporting actors who add to the glee.

But, if he gets elected, I’m afraid it may become a farce, or a Greek tragedy.

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

Metaplasm

Metaplasm (met’-a-plazm): A general term for orthographical figures (changes to the spelling of words). This includes alteration of the letters or syllables in single words, including additions, omissions, inversions, and substitutions. Such changes are considered conscious choices made by the artist or orator for the sake of eloquence or meter, in contrast to the same kinds of changes done accidentally and discussed by grammarians as vices (see barbarism). See: antistheconaphaeresisapocopeepenthesisparagoge, synaloepha.

That Donald Trump sure isn’t humbly-bumbly–he’s an arrogantic ego-normous self promoting meopolis: A narcissistic sprawl of blighted plans, ramshackle proposals, and dangerous roads and highways.

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Paralipsis

Paralipsis (par-a-lip’-sis): Stating and drawing attention to something in the very act of pretending to pass it over (see also cataphasis). A kind of irony.

It would be ridiculous mentioning your obsession with i-Hop’s dessert pancakes as your only real direct engagement with anything remotely international as in the “International House of Pancakes.” I won’t mention how your negotiating skills consistently earn you a double dollop of cream cheese icing on your beloved red velvet pancakes. Why won’t I mention it? It is totally beside the point.

Now, back to reality! How do you think your experience as a negotiator will preclude a nuclear war or, on a less apocalyptic note, a renewal of the cold war?

I know I’m probably asking you to compare securing extra pancake toppings with saving Western Civilization as we know it, but hey, I’m a journalist and the American people deserve a double-dollop of claptrap as much as you deserve a double dollop of cream cheese icing.

So, Mr. Trump: pancakes or apocalypse? Which is it? The American people have a right to know.

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

Paroemion

Paroemion (par-mi’-on): Alliteration taken to an extreme where nearly every word in a sentence begins with the same consonant. Sometimes, simply a synonym for alliteration or for homoeoprophoron [a stylistic vice].

Ted’s facial tic taps tarnished truths too terrible to try to tell to trendsetters, tattletales, Trumpers, torqueheads, ticket takers, taxi trippers, troublemakers, totalitarians, tapdancers, truckdrivers, tippers, timekeepers, trackers, trappers, techies, turncoats or his mommy, who will spank him.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Paromologia

Paromologia (par-o-mo-lo’-gi-a): Conceding an argument, either jestingly and contemptuously, or to prove a more important point. A synonym for concessio.

Ok Ok, so I’m wrong about Hillary’s boob job–it was a good boob job! In the past 10 years I’ve become a better judge of boob jobs. Hillary’s has withstood the test of time. It has aged wonderfully and currently fits her frumpy shape.  I guess you could say she had foresight, but 10 years–come on–we need to plan a little closer to the present to really make a difference.

Take my Mexican “Wall Job” for example. It actually has a completion date set.  Not only that, over time we can build it taller and taller–some day it may cast a shadow over all of Mexico, making us more competitive in agriculture, while at the same time keeping every illegal out of our sacred USA!

But that’s not all–we can plaster the wall with solar panels and make the United States of America the solar energy center of the world.

God bless America.

God bless you.

God bless me: Donald Trump, Wealthy Seer, Real Estate Mogul, and the next president of the United States of America!

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Perclusio

Perclusio (per-clu’-si-o): A threat against someone, or something.

If you don’t get the delegates you need for the nomination, when you get to Cleveland you better get ready to hear the RNC floor chant: Better call Paul! Better call Paul!  Better call Paul!

But we know this Paul guy’s no dummy.  A little pressure applied in the right places will keep his answer on target.

I’m not saying we’re going to harvest anybody’s thumbs, I’m just saying Ryan better start saying, “Don’t call Paul!” “Paul doesn’t want to talk to you!” or his DC glory days are done forever.

If he wants a bright future: if he wants to keep pulling out plums, Pauly Porgy better call Georgy Porgy and find out how to be a good boy for the next five years.

So, panic not, we have a plan!

We’re here for you Teddy-Ready-Bear. Unfortunately, though, Trumpster’s ass is going to get a free pass off of you on this one. BUT: Have no fear, we’ve got one waiting for Mr. T-rump and it isn’t his favorite scotch or an Eastern European supermodel. It doesn’t go ‘boom’ either–it goes ‘bust’ as in collapse, fiasco, scandal, financial ruin.  Ha! Ha!

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Procatalepsis

Procatalepsis (pro-cat-a-lep’-sis): Refuting anticipated objections.

Go ahead! Call me Donald Wall-nut!

I can build it. I will build the wall.

Too expensive? Nothing is too expensive. You get what you pay for!

Won’t work? Check out China and tell me their wall didn’t work!

Mexico won’t pay for it? Did you ever hear of the United States Army? The best damn bill collectors in the world!

Go ahead, call me Donald Wall-nut! It’s better than being called Hilary No-nuts, or Bernie Acorns, or Crushed Nuts Cruz!

Wal-Mart. Walnuts. Walgreens.  Who the hell cares?

Enough with the walls and the nuts!

I will make America great again! If you don’t believe me, check out Atlantic City, or my first wife, or these free hats!

I’m number one with the Poles! Krakow’s in the bag! On to Oshkosh!

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

Sarcasmus

Sarcasmus (sar’kaz’-mus): Use of mockery, verbal taunts, or bitter irony.

Yesterday was a stellar f***ing day! My subscription to The Economist expired, my pants fell down at the mall, I lost my wallet, I ran out of vodka, my cat froze to the back porch, I found out my neighbor gave me an STD, I slipped in the shower, I chipped a tooth, my hemorrhoids flared up, and I felt like I had a Serrano pepper stuck up my a**! To top it off, the  damn bald spot on the back of my head grew by another 1.16 inches!

Truly, a wonderful f***ing day–like having a stroke, being run over by a Fedex truck, going to Trenton, NJ being spread on a 12-foot long ebola sandwich headed full bore into a chipper-shredder.

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Anaphora

Anaphora (an-aph’-o-ra): Repetition of the same word or group of words at the beginning of successive clauses, sentences, or lines.

Where is Bernie Sanders?

Where is the Vermont cheddar cheese-eating pinko-wierdo today?

Somewhere?

Where is Donald Trump?

Where is CEO BB Brain bloviating today??

Everywhere!

Bernie, something’s wrong. It should be the other way around.

Bernie! Come on! Say something crazy! Like, “Donald Trump is so angry he’s bleeding out of his eyes and somewhere else!”

That’ll get you noticed!

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

 

Anapodoton

Anapodoton (an’-a-po’-do-ton): A figure in which a main clause is suggested by the introduction of a subordinate clause, but that main clause never occurs.

Anapodoton is a kind of anacoluthon, since grammatical expectations are interrupted. If the expression trails off, leaving the subordinate clause incomplete, this is sometimes more specifically called anantapodotonAnapodoton has also named what occurs when a main clause is omitted because the speaker interrupts himself/herself to revise the thought, leaving the initial clause grammatically unresolved but making use of it nonetheless by recasting its content into a new, grammatically complete sentence.

Before Donald Trump’s hair blinded his wife

Or:

A debate is not . . .  A debate should not be a gaggle of Republican geese honking for attention. There should actually be a set set topic or question for the so-called debate, like: “This House would give Bobby Jindal a buzz cut.” Or, “This House believes George Pataki is too tall to be President.” Or, “This House believes Jeb Bush is a mama’s boy.”

The possibilities are endless, and they should all be ad hominem! Insults are much more exciting and substantive than anything else the frontrunners would have to say toward questions like:  “Governor Christie, if elected what would be your first meal in the White House.” Or, “Senator Paul, have you ever considered naming one of your children Paul?” Or, “CEO Trump, how do you spell foreign?”

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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