Paramythia (pa-ra-mee’-thi-a): An expression of consolation and encouragement.

Every time I think of you, I feel your pain. You have suffered far too much. You didn’t deserve what you were handed. Every time I think of it I want to get on a plane together and fly somewhere far away from here. I know how much you wanted to go to graduate school in UMASS’s Mathematics distance learning program. When you got the rejection, I couldn’t stand it when you started crying and pounding on the ground. It was a well-earned emotional earthquake. Tearing out your hair is what I expected, a perfect expression of your emotion’s depth and breadth. When you threw your cellphone on the ground, it was an act of defiance signifying your unwillingness to capitulate and accept your fate. Bravo!

At this point, I don’t know what more I can do to assuage your pain, and help manage your feelings of rejection and desolation. Thank God I got into my top choice in Harvard’s Astrophysics Ph.D. program with full funding and a parking place outside the lab.

Be optimistic! Keep applying to UMASS. Sooner or later somebody there will take pity on you and let you in. You probably won’t get full funding, but with distance learning, you won’t need parking!

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (

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