Metastasis (me-tas’-ta-sis): Denying and turning back on your adversaries arguments used against you.

You say I shot a hole in your front door. Ha ha, that’s crazy. I’m out on parole for throwing rocks at kids on their way to school. I live on the edge of incarceration and would never do anything to land me back in jail again. You say my moral resolve is weak, but it’s your moral resolve that’s weak, starting with lying about me having anything to do with your front door. You know damn well that I was traveling out of town when it happened and there’s no way I could have done it. I wouldn’t be surprised if you did it as a gambit to get me back in jail. Ever since me a Maggie hooked up, you’ve been out to get me. Get over it. You’re not married any more. I have everything. You have nothing, and you did it to yourself. What did you think would happen when you ran off with the high school senior class President— sure she was 18—but God, you’re 38. Thank God the poor kid came to her senses and went home, but not before she had twins. You just about destroyed Maggie.

Anyway, you’re the most disgusting excuse for a human being I’ve ever known. Next time you want to shoot a hole in your front door and blame it on me, make sure I’m home first. And by the way, I don’t own a gun, so you’ll have to loan me yours and show me how to shoot it.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (

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