Apophasis (a-pof’-a-sis): The rejection of several reasons why a thing should or should not be done and affirming a single one, considered most valid.
Should I return from the dead?
Pro:
1. I can walk around.
2. I can go to Smitty’s Topless Cork Popper, my favorite entertainment venue. (I still have one eye)
3. I can get my neighbor Rosco who shot me through the heart when he caught me with his wife. Yes, he killed me, and only got 6 months!
4. I can play with my dog Blither. He’s a purebred Poodle/Great Dane mix.
Hmm. I can’t think of anything else.
Cons:
1. I smell like rotting flesh.
2. My suit is stained and crawling with some kind of worms.
3. My appearance will horrify people. I’m not even up yet, but my left arm is coming lose.
4. I will probably want to eat everybody’s brains. This will be rude, especially to my wife and daughter.
Well, there I have it. Sadly, I can’t make up my mind. Maybe I should do a trial run to see how it works out. I could do some lurking down by the river, where people meet for speed trysts, or I could find Rosco and tear off his head. Yes! Rosco it is. He put me here and he can join me. He’ll be at Smitty’s. I’ll make him pole dance before I kill him.
Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)
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