Daily Archives: July 12, 2022


Assonance (ass’-o-nance): Repetition of similar vowel sounds, preceded and followed by different consonants, in the stressed syllables of adjacent words.

The start was always awash with the finish for me. I could never ever bring a modicum of enthusiasm to the competition. I would never be redeemed, but in fact, I never asked myself how I got on the team. I like my uniform though: black trainers, black socks, black tights, black t-shirt and a brown cap, with the team’s mascot in red, on the cap’s peak. Our mascot is a smiling noodle. We are sponsored by Papa’s Pasta, a major pasta producer located in Topeka, Kansas. That’s where our team calls home too. We are the Topeka Noodles. We play in the Bread Basket League along with teams from the Dakotas, Nebraska, Washington, Idaho—our competitors. Our sport is dodge ball—a fast-moving, violent, injury heavy, take no prisoners sport. Two or three “Ballers” are fatally injured every year, and pretty much all “Ballers” are seriously injured. The most deadly play is the “Rifle Kick.” A player will loosen his trainers. Throwing a kick, the trainer shoots off the foot and hits the opponent in the kidney from behind. The opponent goes down, writhing on the floor. Then, the second trainer is sent at the head, aiming for the opponent’s temple. Whack!

By the way, my father is “Papa” of Papa’s Pasta, the Topeka Noodles’ sponsor. I will let you in on a secret. My father made a couple of threats, and all of a sudden I had a spot on the Topeka Noodles, and I couldn’t play very well. In fact, I stink like a spraying skunk. One of my teammates told me I should quit the team. He was run over by a milk truck the next day. It was determined to be an accident and his injuries are not life threatening—two broken legs, concussion, 3 broken ribs, scuffed butt and elbows, and an apology to me.

I will now give the Topeka Noodles Cheer: Noodle, noodle, noodle, oodle, boodle, doodle. Noodle up, noodle down, we will win the Dodge Ball crown. Go Noodles!

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

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