Daily Archives: July 27, 2022

Aphorismus

Aphorismus ( a-phor-is’-mus): Calling into question the proper use of a word.


A: Today we must utilize our common sense and not be reticent to be impactful in our propagation of a roadmap to bridge the river of victory with malice and hope.

B: Are you talk’n to me? ‘Cause if you are, I don’t know what the hell you’re try’n to say. I would like to point out that, among other things, you’ve used “reticent” improperly. According to a “special” dictionary I have fright here in my pocket, it means “not revealing one’s thoughts or feelings readily.” What the hell does your use of it have have to do with your incoherent victory bridge blabber? One other thing, “impactful.” Does putting “ful” on the end of ”impact” give it more impact? Ha ha!

A: Look, nozzle brain, I talk “boss talk” because I’m the boss. I would be reticent to speak otherwise. Being hard to understand is one of my finish lines as a speaker. It gives me leverage when the blame is recused and I am being aimed at with accusatory enunciations.

B: You should stay away from the management workshops. The only thing worth going for is the raspberry jellied donuts and dark roast coffee. The rest is part of a plot to “stupidify“ America. These people work for the “Underground Consultant” who Latinizes normal words and evilly propagates the misuse of words in everyday speech, so words lose their proper meanings and create a linguistic fog that people like me choke on while others grope for meaning and lose their way.

A: You need help, but I am reticent call 911. Instead, let’s utilize Uber to get you to the hospital.

B: You’re the one with the problem, you chronic word misuser. Here, take this small pocket dictionary. It’s being distributed by the group I founded: “Denote & Connote.” You can always depend on your dictionary to show you the way—the way out of the mire of misuse that people like you are stuck in. Free yourself!

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

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