Daily Archives: July 17, 2022

Appositio

Appositio (ap-po-sit’-i-o): Addition of an adjacent, coordinate, explanatory or descriptive element.


My brain was fried—soaked with hallucinogens, teeming with unreality. I was on the bus. I told the person sitting next me that I had done something I shouldn’t have done. He said: “I know what you did you naughty boy.” Then he turned into one of those British judges with a wig. I said, “You can’t be real, you don’t have a British accent and you look like my high school chemistry teacher.” With that, he reconstituted into the normal person sitting next to me, by the window, with a fearful look on his face. He said he wanted to move, and I let him. His empty seat was quickly taken by a navy blue bear.

Bear: Hi! My name’s Bearon Von Growler. I am from your imagination. I cause your anxiety.

Me: You are doing a great job right now. Why are you wearing expensive running shoes?

Bear: Again, it is your imagination that put them on my paws.

The bus stopped and I got off, glad to rid myself of the bear. I saw what looked like a giant bean stalk halfway down the block. I ran toward it and it turned into a utility pole. It wasn’t even green.

Basically, that was my day, flashing in and out of drug-induced visions. When I got home, the bear was sitting on the chair in my bedroom. He said he was hungry, but he had heard that all the food in the house had been poisoned. That made me anxious, so we went to The Burger Garage and stuffed ourselves. I had a Double Dump Truck with cheese. Bearon had twelve orders of Wrench Fries and three chocolate Carburetors, and then he disappeared.


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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu). Mattress jokes: upjoke.com/mattress-jokes.