Daily Archives: December 23, 2021


Anesis (an’-e-sis): Adding a concluding sentence that diminishes the effect of what has been said previously. The opposite of epitasis.

Ted was smart, good looking and articulate, but he smelled like urine. If you got within 3 feet of him the smell was there—like he was wearing a public restroom instead of underpants, or he just came from visiting a nursing home. Yet, somehow he managed to live a more or less normal life. You see, the urine smell did not come from urine-soaked clothing, it was his “natural” body odor. He suffered from soma urinosis, an extremely rare disease that allows minute amounts of urine to seep through the pores of the skin in such small amounts that it does not produce moisture, just the odor of urine.

After high school, Ted gave up bathing in diluted Old Spice aftershave and wearing a Canoe cologne wick in his underpants. This took courage. Everybody respected him for accepting his natural smell. He started going on Hinge looking for a mate. He wrote: “Wanted. Loving woman who smells like urine.” The responses he got were disheartening—angry women who called him a pervert, and perverted women who liked being wet on. But, he persisted. Then it happened. A message hit his inbox: “My name is Bettina and I smell like urine. I suffer from soma urinosis, do you?

Eureka! Ted dashed off an answer: “Yes!”

One day later, Ted and Bettina met outside in a public park, immediately fell in love and were married outdoors in the same park 2 months later. Ted kept working at Pine Tree Air Freshener Company and Bettina took a job at Mennen Company. They pursued PhDs in biology and chemical engineering, respectively. It was rough holding down full time jobs and pursing PhDs at the same time, but they persevered and succeeded, and landed research fellowships at MIT.

To make a long story short, working together Ted and Bettina discovered a cure for soma urinosis. They were too old for it to work on them, but it worked perfectly on their baby, Nell. Now, they live in a lovely old home in Boston with a special ventilation system they created, and manufacture, earning them millions.

Next time you hear somebody say “that stinks” think of Ted and Bettina and their angelic daughter and the heights of fame and fortune they achieved.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.edu.byu)

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