Daily Archives: December 3, 2021


Aphaeresis (aph-aer’-e-sis): The omission of a syllable or letter at the beginning of a word. A kind of metaplasm.

A: If an ant can’t do it, can an aunt? Ha ha! This is the kind of humor that makes the world go ‘round and maybe even go out of orbit. Ha ha! Then, we’d have to write its orbituary. Ha ha! Get it? Obituary/Orbituary? Ha ha!

B: Can you please shut up so I can finish filling out these divorce papers?

A: What? Since when are we getting a divorce?

B: Since I’ve been putting up with you and your stupid jokes for five terrible years.

A: Are you saying my jokes stink? Should I drain them down the sink? Ha ha! Get it? Stink/sink. Come on. You can crack a smile.

B: Crack a smile? I’ll crack your head if you don’t shut up.

A: You’re making Butch very mad. He wants you to apologize to me and tear up the divorce papers. He may be a dummy, but he does what I ask.

Butch-the-dummy: I am damn mad now, and it is no joke Mrs. Ratcar. Tear ‘em up Mrs. Ratcar.

B: Why don’t you climb back in your box, Butch, and take Mr. Ratcar with you?

(one half-hour later)

Knock on the Door: Is this where Henry Ratcar the comedian lives? We’re here to interview him for Entertainment Tonight for his upcoming special “Ratcar Comedy Live From Las Vegas.”

A: Yikes! I completely forgot! Come in. Never mind my wife. She took a sleeping pill and fell asleep in her chair. Please excuse the torn up papers on the floor—junk mail headed for the trash.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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