Daily Archives: January 16, 2022

Acervatio

Acervatio (ak-er-va’-ti-o): Latin term Quintilian employs for both asyndeton (acervatio dissoluta: a loose heap) and polysyndeton (acervatio iuncta:a conjoined heap).


Asyndeton: the omission of conjunctions between clauses, often resulting in a hurried rhythm or vehement effect.

Hurry, hurry, hurry. Time is flying, running, rolling. This may be your last chance to cash in on Bitcoins! You say you don’t know what the hell a Bitcoin is? You say you’re nervous? I’m nervous too! That’s why I’m investing in Bitcoins. I’’m afraid they will all be gone if I don’t act now and relieve myself of a few hundred old-fashioned dollars to reap miraculous rewards. Go to your bank, wire the money, get rich, feel good. Go crypto!

Polysydeton: employing many conjunctions between clauses, often slowing the tempo or rhythm.

I went to the Merryland Mall, and the parking lot was almost empty, so I parked where I wanted to park, and I got out of my car, and went inside to buy some socks and a big bag of dog food for my dog, and also, for making dog food cookies to give away at the nursing home to the residents, and nurses, and doctors, and visitors, and janitorial staff. That’s why I needed a fifty-pound bag of Hungry Pup.

The cookies are easy to make: weigh and pour 2 lbs of dog food into a large brown paper shopping bag, and roll up top of bag to close, then stomp on the bag until there is no more crunching sound, now pour dog food dust into large mixing bowl, then add 3 cups of water and 2 oz. of vodka. Now, put in one cup of sugar and mix vigorously with small tree branch or rubber bone with bell inside. Next, scoop out cookie-size glops of dog food dough and slap them onto a cookie sheet, and then, bake them in your oven at 350 degrees for 20 minutes. When they are done, you can add one M&M to the top of each cookie, for color and flavor. Now, set your cookies out to cool, and be careful if you have a dog. Lock your dog in the closet until the cookies are cooled and you have put them in the trunk of your car.

There! You have made the cheapest cookies on the planet.

I finally found a pair of red socks, and put them in my shopping cart with the jumbo bag of Hungry Pup, and headed for checkout. Soon, I would be home and wearing my new socks, and baking dog food cookies for the old people.


Definitions courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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