Adage (ad’-age): One of several terms describing short, pithy sayings, or traditional expressions of conventional wisdom.
There was a time when nothing seemed to matter. I rolled around in flower beds. I drank Pina Coladas in the rain. I dumped tons of salt on everything I ate. I farted loudly and proudly. Then it happened. I had heard it many times, but I never understood it’s gravity as I ignored it and failed assimilate it’s gravity. I thought I was safe.
“Never trust a fart.”
That day on the bus, I trusted a fart. I thought it was going to sound like a barking seal and make a cloud that would choke my fellow passengers.
I was wrong. I pushed hard on the fart—too hard. It made a sound like a gurgling brook. It filled my underpants with a nightmare.
I had pooped myself. Luckily, my escape point was one stop away. People were turning and looking at me, sniffing the air, and turning back around with a look of total disgust. A little boy spoke up: “Mommy, that man smells like my hamster when we found him in the wall, dead.”
The bus stopped. I got up and my nightmare swung between my legs as the passengers held their noses and silently stared at me. I got off the bus and hurried home. “Never trust a fart.” So true. Such good advice.
Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).
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A video reading of this example can be found on YouTube: Johnnie Anaphora
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