Abecedarian (a-be-ce-da’-ri-an): An acrostic whose letters do not spell a word but follow the order (more or less) of the alphabet.
A black cat drove everybody fundamentally, gleefully, and hypermodernly, insane. Just kidding! Legally made null, obligations parted quietly, remaining stultified theatrics until victory wielded xenophobia’s yapping zillionaires.
The black cat sighed a barely audible meow, having had his magnificent antics reduced to a passing “just kidding” by the dumbass that feeds him, gives him treats, and cleans his rustic toilet box. The black cat’s grievances had been mounting since Christmas when he was given another light-flashing collar to add to the pile on the floor by his water dish. It was so embarrassing and frustrating to prowl around at night with a flashing blue beacon around his neck—it was worse than the bell on his daytime collar—he couldn’t get within 20 feet of a field mouse with the damn blue light flashing. He was sick of it.
The black cat had considered running away many times, but he always decided not to. At the last minute he would jump up on dumbass’s lap and purr, and dumbass would scratch the black cat behind his ears.
Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)
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A video reading of the example is on YouTube at Johnnie Anaphora