Ampliatio (am’-pli-a’-ti-o): Using the name of something or someone before it has obtained that name or after the reason for that name has ceased. A form of epitheton.


Hey Genius! You’re going to be the smartest PhD ever. Astrophysics? Electrical Engineering? History. Math? Creative Writing? When you’re old enough to talk, we can figure it out. In the meantime, I’ve gotten you some toys: a rubber squeaky star, a big battery pillow for your cribby, an antique rattle, a toy calculator, and “The Three Little Pigs” book I can read to you: a great work of literature.


Hey Handsome! Pull your blubber butt up over here. I remember, back in the day you rivaled David Bowie for adoration. A new girl every week. You were something else. You even had hair and all your teeth. Too bad corn on the cob is on the menu. The reunion organizers should’ve thought of people like you. Our lives have morphed. I’m an artist—I paint in acrylics and pull in half a million per year doing portraits and landscapes around the world. I understand you’re a night manager at Burger King. I bet you smell like a cheeseburger when you go home. Too bad about your wife taking off with the exterminator.

Oh well, things change as time goes by. If you lost 100 pounds and got a hair transplant, maybe you could regain some of your cred. Oh, when did you get out of prison?

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (

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